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To want to string my dog up by her ears? And maybe lock her outside the room for the evening?

(52 Posts)
DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:18:48


I swear to god, all I can hear is her panting away and then the thud of shaun the sheep the footstool falling over, at which point she'll lick him to death and manage to get him back onto his feet and then she'll go for round fucking 25.

What gets me is when she finally gets a good grip on him... SHE FUCKING STARES AT ME WHILST SHE DOES IT!

She's licking him now.

<slurp, slurp, slurp, snort, slurp>

I'm going to kill her.

<disclaimer about thread title, I would never do such awful things to my beloved dog>

(only in my dreams)


activate Sat 09-Jul-11 22:19:57



mamalovebird Sat 09-Jul-11 22:21:08

I have no advice to offer but this has made me laugh.

Good luck with your randy dog smile

RandomMess Sat 09-Jul-11 22:21:31

TAke shaun away?

frownieface Sat 09-Jul-11 22:22:45

Get her fixed and take away Shaun, other than that it is funny grin

DogsBestFriend Sat 09-Jul-11 22:23:17


Swap you for 2 GSDs and a Lab who are happily munching on raw bones atm?

All very nice and peaceful you might think... but stomach-churning for this non-meat eater! Why do I give them the damn things???

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:23:37

She hasnt got worms.

She hasnt been done yet due to money. Every time she's on heat we say "ohhh we must get her done", then when the time comes it never happens due to funds.

She's 6, should i let her have a litter and then get her spayed?

CarnivalBizarre Sat 09-Jul-11 22:24:06

grin my female dog keeps shagging Animal from The Muppets and my DD's Hello Kitty teddy - needless to say my daughter will not be getting dogs shag toys back to play with

TheNoodlesIncident Sat 09-Jul-11 22:24:11

Please tell me. Is this Shaun footstool furnished with his face, having actual eyes? Does the stool also stare at you with - no doubt - a pleading "get this farking dog off me" expression?

I think I peed myself a little. Thank you for that OP smile

glassescase Sat 09-Jul-11 22:25:01

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa we had a rabbit that we let in the house sometimes. It always humped DD's slippers.

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:25:11

I have second thoughts on litter because there's just so many staffs about that need homes. But DH thinks it would be nice for her to be "a mum"

I'm thinking not!

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:26:36

Yes Shaun has a face and big starey eyes that plead silently with me.

I've tried taking the blinking thing away but Blaise can sniff that sheep out like I can sniff out alcohol!

squeakytoy Sat 09-Jul-11 22:27:34

This thread made me grin.

I have just had to bring my sunlounger in from the garden, complete with snoring staffie on it... he is surgically attached to the thing I think!!!

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Jul-11 22:28:36

Our lovely hound rolled around in shit of some kind this morning.

Her humming presence lingered for a fair while after she'd left the room.

She was shut out until I could get to wash the manky mutt.

Why do they do that??

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:29:37

Baisey does that. You try moving a blanket she's lying on, all you get is one opened eye and a snort.

Al0uiseG Sat 09-Jul-11 22:29:42

Ffs, spay her.

TheNoodlesIncident Sat 09-Jul-11 22:30:12

If Shaun moves out in disgust the dog'll have to look round for a replacement. Possibly OP's pillow.

You may have to provide an alternative hump buddy for your dog...

Mandy2003 Sat 09-Jul-11 22:36:37

My cuddly polar bear was never quite the same after my friend's unspayed Boxer bitch had finished with it. In the end I told them to keep the toy!

I don't think it's necessary to allow a bitch to have a litter before spaying btw.

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:40:25

Yes shall do Al0uiseG, when I have the fucking money

discobeaver Sat 09-Jul-11 22:40:43

Please don't let her have a litter. She wont care if she's a mum or not, and there are already thousands of dogs who need homes.
Unless they are Shaun/ staffy crosses, then they might have novelty value!

DoNotTakeMeSiriusly Sat 09-Jul-11 22:42:35

I wont let her have a litter, I'm just repeating my DH's nonsense words of wisdom.

It'll be me that would have to look after them...

DogsBestFriend Sat 09-Jul-11 22:44:53

Good god no, PLEASE don't let her have a litter. Reasons against:

Biggest one - HUNDREDS of healthy dogs are already killed EACH WEEK in pounds up and down the country purely for want of homes. Staffies make up the greatest number of these, owing to public prejudice and undeserved bad press. If your DH doesn't believe me call your local council, ask where their pound is and take him there and show him the dogs who will be dead the next week. SOME pounds do their best to rehome, some don't even try for Staffs and other hard to home dogs (yes I'm talking about YOU, Fleet Kennels in Yorkshire). Breeding yet more Staffies just adds to this heartwrenching burden.

Rescue does its best to step in and take as many of these dogs as possible into safety and rehome them but they cannot more than a fraction of those who need it. The rest die. If a person wants a dog, Staffie or otherwise, pup or adult, rescue has thousands patiently waiting for homes. Breeding more lessens the chances of rescue dogs getting a home and therefore they are taking up rescue spaces which could be offered to the pound dogs. This is especially true since the RSPCA decided not to accept unwanted dogs from the public and so independent, unfunded rescues have had to take up that burden too.

Add to that the cost to you if your SBT needs a section or vet treatment as a result of pregnancy or labour. The cost of feeding and vaccinating pups. Not to mention the stress, the having to have someone at home 24/7 to care for them for weeks and months, the mess and the worry about keeping pups and DC seperate. Plus think about the search for homes - good ones - and think of how you will ensure that they are good. Ask yourself what you'd do if the new owners can't keep the pups, now or in 10 years time and they are only able to have the dog/s put to sleep. Can you take them back? A good breeder will. A good breeder only breeds pedigree, KC reg dogs to improve breed lines and when they have vetted homes lined up BEFORE mating and when they know they can take any or all of the dogs back at any stage of their lives should the owners not be able to keep them.

Spaying will also reduce the likelihood of many problems, result in a calmer dog and avoid illnesses such as certain cancers as well as reducing possible aggressive tendencies.

PLEASE PLEASE don't do it. If your DH is still in doubt let me know and I'll show him some of the appeals I have for dogs who need rescue spaces and who will die in the pound if they don't get them, let us rescuers show him the photos of the healthy young dogs we have tried to save and who never made it.

catwoman2011 Sat 09-Jul-11 22:45:31

I'd just like to say that I breed cats and I have had more than one girl who has abandoned her litter, just because they can, does not mean that they should. Please get her spayed, it will reduce the chances of her getting pyometra (infection of the womb and something that could cost a fortune if an emergency spay is needed), it will stop her humping the footstool and will reduce the chances of some cancers.
But the sound of your vision was funny tho..... Lol

DragonAlley Sat 09-Jul-11 22:46:49

I have a Shaun the Sheep footstool too. FWIW, he has that "I'm being shagged by a dog" look even though he has never, to my knowledge, been at the receiving end of Dill's amorous intentions.

squeakytoy Sat 09-Jul-11 22:49:45

My dog has been "done", but he still humps the occasional cushion or random cuddly toy grin.... my MILs dog humps a giant furry stuffed tomato... (((family of disturbed animals)))

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