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To just not want a 40th birthday party?

(30 Posts)
WinkyWinkola Fri 08-Jul-11 19:38:40

because you'd think I was barking according to most of my friends, dh etc.

The thought of it embarrasses me and I have told dh categorically please no party. I have an awful feeling he and a friend of mine are planning something regardless.

Why is it so unacceptable not to want lots of people travelling miles, spending money etc just because somebody somewhere decided 40 is a significant year?

deliciousdevilwoman Fri 08-Jul-11 19:42:34

You are not being unreasonable about "no party". I was the same, when it was mine, 2 years ago. However, because I didn't want a party-as I would find it cringworthy, it didn't mean I didn't want a fuss made! Instead, DH took me to Capri for a week. It was amazing.

BeerTricksPotter Fri 08-Jul-11 19:44:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag Fri 08-Jul-11 19:48:44

I've just turned 40, and the thought of someone trying to guilt me into wanting a party turns my stomach.

A really good friend asked me if I'd got anything planned (because her bithday's near mine and we both took each other somewhere for our 30th (she took me to see radiohead (best idea she's ever had) and I took her paintballing (worst of my ideas so far) (that's some shit hot bracketinggrin)) so I was quite firm saying I was doing absolutely nothing grin

Just say you're too old for all that malarkey grin

moondog Fri 08-Jul-11 19:50:38

The idea of something like this makes my toes curl in horror.
Mind you, I even had a £65 wedding for that very reason.
Naff celebration.

Sinkingfeeling Fri 08-Jul-11 19:53:12

YANBU. I didn't want a party for my 40th and didn't have one. The world didn't end, though I think my inlaws thought it might. I went to the New Forest with dh for a weekend instead, and very nice it was too. smile

AgentZigzag Fri 08-Jul-11 19:56:26

'I went to the New Forest with dh for a weekend instead, and very nice it was too. smile'

Y'dirty scrubber Sinking grin

Kalinda Fri 08-Jul-11 19:59:30

I'm going on a child-free, long weekend to Italy for mine. Am avoiding best friends trying to organise some sort of tequiladisco horror evening. YANBU

BeerTricksPotter Fri 08-Jul-11 20:00:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stoatie Fri 08-Jul-11 20:02:53

YANBU - this filled me with dread as well.

My lovely (when he wants to be) arranged a surprise weekend away at a beautiful cottage, with the children and my parents. It was winter - several feet of snow, the farmer who owned cottage lent the children sledges - they spent days sledging and having fun - winter wonderland. We had lovely walks, then (yay) parents had children ovenight whilst we went to local pub - for delicious meal and night away from children (bliss) - still not sure how he arranged the snow wink

wigglesrock Fri 08-Jul-11 20:03:11

Mr W is 40 this year - no parties, we're off without kids to Paris, he has never been. We' probably spend the whole weekend in bed and not in a sexy way, more in a six years since we had a decent nights sleep way grin

archibaldmonkeyface Fri 08-Jul-11 20:03:26

I'm 40 in a few months and DH knows that absolutely the last thing I would want is a party (particularly of the 'surprise' variety). We've had our wedding and DS's christening in the last 18 months so think we've done our share of feeding everyone we know! Would love a trip away somewhere nice though and think that's the way he's thinking too - fingers crossed!

Problem I may have is that another friend is also 40 a few months after me so we're guaranteed to have to have a joint 'do' for friends. Our ideas of what we want to do will be quite different I think though and it's unfair to ask people to shell out for both - I would like a relaxing spa day and she's going to want a big weekend in London, show, expensive meal and general piss up - all lovely and generally you wouldn't get an argument from me for that type of trip but DH and I are going to start trying for another baby soon so I may (again, fingers crossed!) be in fairly early pregnancy then and not wanting to share that fact with everyone!.

AgentZigzag Fri 08-Jul-11 20:04:19

Nice on on the ghosthunting BTP, did it take you down the vaults? <<shiver>>

We wern't able to go down them when we were there, not sure I would anyway being such a wuss grin

QueenCatherine Fri 08-Jul-11 20:07:18

It's mine later this year and I want to see friends! Have booked an apartment where we can all meet up. Would have cost less to go on holiday but it's my birthday... grin

BeerTricksPotter Fri 08-Jul-11 20:07:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LunaticFringe Fri 08-Jul-11 20:10:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleknittingmum Fri 08-Jul-11 20:11:34

I am 40 later this year and not planning on a thing! Don't do parties at all!

OH was 40 2 years ago and I think we went out for a meal so I expect we will do that again

AgentZigzag Fri 08-Jul-11 20:12:43

Lunatic - 'Far too complex to do these days and we're all to knackered old' wink

BehindLockNumberNine Fri 08-Jul-11 20:16:59

I hate parties - I am not a natural party goer, I get all embarrassed. I dread going to friends' parties. Luckily I don't have that many close friends so invites are few and far between grin

It is my 40th in September and I have told everyone I know that there will not be a party. Instead I am having family members over on the day of my birthday (a Sunday) for cake and tea. (we love a good excuse for cake in our family). I am having a meal out with my 3 closest friends one evening around my birthday. I am having another meal out with the 7 lovely ladies I work with the week after. (we are all TA's at the same school and going out for a meal to celebrate a birthday has become tradition)
And the weekend after my birthday dh and I are going to Paris. With the children.

Can't wait grin

culturemulcher Fri 08-Jul-11 20:18:23

YANBU I felt the same way. Happy to be 40, but didn't want a big 'look at me' party. So...

I met my closest female friends for cocktails then got ILs to baby sit for the weekend and went away with DH for an amazing, blissful kids-free weekend (first time ever).

No party but had the best birthday.

mrsbiscuits Fri 08-Jul-11 21:22:41

YANBU I didn't have one ( well to be fair I was 9 months pregnant at the time) but even if I hadn't been I would have refused. I don't do large social occasions full stop and so even if I had been up for celebrating it would probably have been just dinner with DH and a couple of friends. DH is 40 at the end of the year and he doesn't want one either. Mum is having the kids and we are going away for the weekend.

HeidiKat Fri 08-Jul-11 21:26:12

YANBU, me and DH both have our 30ths within a few weeks of each other next year, neither of us want a big party or fuss, we would rather ask my parents to have DD for a night and treat ourselves to a nice hotel and evening meal. Do whatever makes you happy.

floosiemcwoosie Fri 08-Jul-11 21:30:20

I didn't have one either, we went to dubai for a few weeks, just the three of us. I went out for dinner a few times with some friends but I really just enjoyed spending some away time with DH and DH

StagnantRabbit Fri 08-Jul-11 21:31:50


I feel the same about mine, hate being the centre of attention etc etc so am planning a holiday abroad with the girls and that's it... 2 of our 40ths within 3 months of each other so its perfect... - Carribean if we win the lottery, which by then I'm sure one of us will have done.

queenmaeve Fri 08-Jul-11 21:35:24

Yanbu! Stick to your guns and do what pleases you

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