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to have mentioned my wedding anniversary when I noticed woman in shop looking for my wedding ring...

(133 Posts)
BooBearBoo Sat 25-Jun-11 15:07:33

Pushing DS around a shop when shop lady starting commenting on him "ahh he is lovely" etc etc blah blah. I then noticed her clocking my lack of wedding ring angry (left them at home - very muggy here and my hands always swell up in heat). I felt compelled to mention that I was looking for a gift for my DH for our anniversary tomorrow... blush

Was I right to feel the need to point this out??!

When I was pregnant I once sat opposite two nuns on the tube (again not wearing my rings...). Goodness me I wanted to smack their disapproving faces. I do look very young as well. Gggrrrr. I'm not even bloody religious. Why do I care that other people care if I am not married??!! confused

Northernlurker Sat 25-Jun-11 15:10:21

If you look very young then she may have been wondering if your were ds's mum or sister? I don't know why you mentioned you were married but it's your perogative to do so as much as you like grin

worraliberty Sat 25-Jun-11 15:10:27

I seriously think you're paranoid.

This is 2011, who on earth looks for a wedding ring just cos someone has a child?

She was probably looking at your nails or something....

eurochick Sat 25-Jun-11 15:12:19

You sound a bit paranoid to me.

Hullygully Sat 25-Jun-11 15:12:30

You are quite mad

ProfYaffle Sat 25-Jun-11 15:14:59

I never wear my wedding ring, just because I don't particularly like wearing rings and I'm paranoid about taking it off to wash my hands and leaving it somewhere. It wouldn't occur to me to notice if anyone else noticed. Mind you I didn't change my name when we got married so I think people just assume we're not married and I assume they assume that. I don't really care what people think one way or the other confused

ShirleyKnot Sat 25-Jun-11 15:15:00


Hullygully Sat 25-Jun-11 15:18:06

Oh Shirl, come on, have you never slapped a lady of the cloth?

shockers Sat 25-Jun-11 15:18:51

grin @ ShirleyKnot!

I used to wear two rings on my wedding finger when pregnant with DS1 (24 years ago) just to stop people from asking/ judging. I couldn't be faffed explaining my circumstances to strangers.

ShirleyKnot Sat 25-Jun-11 15:20:52



We'll be kicking vicars and thumping the pope next.

Hullygully Sat 25-Jun-11 15:22:05

Today i was almost slightly rude to the verger.

nannyl Sat 25-Jun-11 15:23:44

Why would it matter to her / you OR anyone else.

Me and OH are not married and wont be before our baby comes (due 11 weeks time) I couldnt care less that we are not married, however im quite proud that we have sorted things legally so if i die, our child(ren) will be as legally his as if we were married etc etc, and in the event of either of our deaths, the same will happen as if we were married.

IMO choosing to have children together shows more commitment to each other than marriage does. £ can buy you out of marriage.... children link you for ever!

ShirleyKnot Sat 25-Jun-11 15:24:15

I glanced askance at a Jehovah Witness tomorrow.


DontGoCurly Sat 25-Jun-11 15:26:00

I find it hard to believe there is anyone still left on the planet who might care that a kid would be born outside wedlock !!!


OrangeHat Sat 25-Jun-11 15:27:35

My friend bought an engagement ring to wear as she was tired of so many people glancing sharply at her wedding finger.

I think that a lot of people still have quite old fashioned views.

LunaticIsOnTheGrass Sat 25-Jun-11 15:30:14

I have 3 children by 2 different men & have never been married. I couldn't give a flying fuck what anybody thinks of that.

I did however call a nun a cunt once though.

GypsyMoth Sat 25-Jun-11 15:31:37

Christ on a bike!! (keeping in with the theme)

Why worry about something so outdated?

ShirleyKnot Sat 25-Jun-11 15:34:31

Lunatic. Are you joking? Please be joking.

Honeydragon Sat 25-Jun-11 15:36:36

To my eternal shame on of the funniest things I have seen was when our Vicars cassock caught fire during the childrens Christingle service. We failed to notice until we saw the front two pews started looking uncomfortable, then my friend (whose father it was) stood up and quite calmly said "Dad, your on fire, there".

Then sat down.

Then we pissed ourselves.

Pippaandpolly Sat 25-Jun-11 15:38:24

My fingers have swollen and my wedding and engagement rings don't fit very well at the mo so I bought a cheap (Accessorize!) ring to wear on that finger as I do feel people clock no rings while I'm pregnant. Probably paranoia! But yes, I understand how you feel - and no, I don't think we should have to feel like that.

ToriaPumpkin Sat 25-Jun-11 15:38:35

I don't think YWBU. Where I am people are still terribly judgey of people who don't marry before they have children, to the point where a co worker of mine slagged off another who has been with her DP for donkeys years because she got pregnant with DC2 and they STILL weren't married. It shouldn't matter to others but apparently it does and if saying something before they start stops you getting into a debate about it then why not? Friends of mine used to buy cheap silver rings to wear on their wedding finger on nights out to stop people chatting them up!

FWIW I couldn't give a toss but am genuinely curious so always check people's ring fingers out (whether they're pregnant, have a baby or have openly told me they don't plan on having children in a million years). I'm just nosy and like looking at other people's jewellery so am probably seen in much the same light as the woman in the op!

rubyrubyruby Sat 25-Jun-11 15:38:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeydragon Sat 25-Jun-11 15:39:50

Also, I think Hully's correct, you are quite mad. Neither my dh or I really wear wedding rings and in nigh on 10 years I have not felt the urge to slap nuns or any other members of the clergy for looking at me.

A kitten once looked at me a bit funny, but I let it go.

LunaticIsOnTheGrass Sat 25-Jun-11 15:43:09

Not joking blush

Was 15 at the time & she was shouting at me. I told her to "Shut up you stupid old penguin cunt".

My friends thought I was awfully big & clever. My Dad - not so much.

startail Sat 25-Jun-11 15:47:19

UANBU, I had trouble with my ring rubbing and didn't wear it for a bit till it was altered. Felt a bit odd, wondered if the mums at school thought we'd fallen out. Ridiculous in this day and age, but I'm an old traditionalist and was married long before DCs came along,
Don't judge others in the same way, know several couples who make a much better job of not bring married than ones who have had OTT celebrations and split.

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