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Dilemma time. DP as just come home to tell me he's seen my best friends DH with another woman

(73 Posts)
Supermummy74 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:15:37

DP as just been into town to go to the bank and he saw my best friends DH hand in hand with another woman. I really want to tell her but DP said to butt out, she's 5 months pregnant. What shall I do?

LaurieFairyCake Tue 21-Jun-11 18:17:22

Tell her, no question.

If you're friends with him tell him to tell her or you will.

Dozer Tue 21-Jun-11 18:18:34

Who is 5 months pregnant, your friend?

I would tell, 'cos I know she'd want to know (have discussed it).

Supermummy74 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:19:24

We are all friends together I've told DP to tell him he saw him but he Saudi he's keeping out of it and I should do the same.

kitbit Tue 21-Jun-11 18:19:50

Tell him to tell her or you will. Be prepared that you might be the villain for a short while. But she has to know. I would want to pregnant or not.

Grabaspoon Tue 21-Jun-11 18:19:51

I would tell and I would want to be told.

Supermummy74 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:20:37

Yes my friends 5 months pregnant plus they have a DS too

Mutt Tue 21-Jun-11 18:21:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callisto Tue 21-Jun-11 18:22:48

Tell her, please tell her. And then be there for her. Good luck, what a nightmare for you.

ENormaSnob Tue 21-Jun-11 18:23:42

I would tell her.

Triphop Tue 21-Jun-11 18:24:30

Tell her, but tell her what your DH saw, which was him walking hand in hand with another woman. Don't say, he's having an affair.

Also, I think your 'Saudi' typo at 18.19.24 is probably the best predictive text typo of the day.

catgirl1976 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:28:30

I think I would want to know. Could have just been a friend or sister though (fingers crossed)

fearnelinen Tue 21-Jun-11 18:29:58

Men are usually right in these instances.

What do you think is right? What would you want her to do if it was the other way round?

Mutt Tue 21-Jun-11 18:30:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cymar Tue 21-Jun-11 18:31:13

You could let your friend's DH know that he's been seen with this woman and he's got 2 choices:

1. He can cut things dead with this woman and you'll say nothing

OR

2. He can take the opportunity tell his wife or you will.

Those are the 2 things I'd do if I was in your situation.

RCToday Tue 21-Jun-11 18:32:58

keep out of it

if its in her home town she will know soon, if not already

Mutt Tue 21-Jun-11 18:34:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveMyOscar Tue 21-Jun-11 18:37:12

What does Saudi have to do with it?

I'd tell her, definately. She may be madat you to start with, especially being hormonal with the pregnancy, but give it a few weeks and she'll come around and be profusely apologising to you and realise what a knob her H is.

Triphop Tue 21-Jun-11 18:37:45

I wouldn't talk to your friend's DH at all. If he is having an affair, he's already lying to her. He'll lie to you, too.

Just tell her what was seen, just the facts, not jumping to any conclusions. It's up to her to take that further, or not. And you get to stand by her whatever she decides to do with the information.

Supermummy74 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:39:13

I don't think I can keep out of it, I'm going to tell as I doubt her DH would

MumblingRagDoll Tue 21-Jun-11 18:39:27

When I was in this situation I told her. It was the right thing.

Triphop Tue 21-Jun-11 18:39:33

And DON'T encourage her to leave him, or take any course of action. You're just the messenger here, and you should just be supportive of her. If she wants to stay with him, you support that.

skybluepearl Tue 21-Jun-11 18:42:08

got to tell her - she is your best friend.

Supermummy74 Tue 21-Jun-11 18:42:10

I won't I will support her decision whatever she wishes to do. I'd never encourage her to leave him, it's her choose what she wishes to do and I'll stand by her.

Jonnyfan Tue 21-Jun-11 18:44:09

I don't understand. Is he Saudi or not?

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