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To want to gag my 4 year old...

(67 Posts)
bupcakesandcunting Tue 07-Jun-11 10:53:11

To stop him saying shit like this to workemen in my house;

"James next door takes his top off in the garden. He's got boobies like a girl. My mummy has got boobies but hers are big and fat and long."

hmm

<weep>

bupcakesandcunting Tue 07-Jun-11 10:53:39

Workemen? Ye Olde Worlde-style workmen.

DoMeDon Tue 07-Jun-11 11:05:47

Arf grin - sorry <composes self>

I feel your pain - DSD announced all about my 'big fat bum' in the laydeeze toilet <shame>

At least you have big boobs wink

kreecherlivesupstairs Tue 07-Jun-11 11:07:58

He'll grow out of it. Probably move on to wanting to show people just to illustrate the point. DD certainly did.

insertfunnynicknamehere Tue 07-Jun-11 11:11:59

Oh dear god....Id die, Iwould actually have to move home so no workmen could ever point at my house in the future and say, "there is a lady in there with long fat boobs!!!

bupcakesandcunting Tue 07-Jun-11 11:13:59

I wouldn't mind, but the men were easy on the eye. blush sad

katvond Tue 07-Jun-11 11:16:59

Can I come and look at them then smile

aliceliddell Tue 07-Jun-11 11:17:26

Big, fat and long? Greedy

insertfunnynicknamehere Tue 07-Jun-11 11:29:49

They are always good looking..

My DS once pointed at a handsome looking lad in a supermarket and shouted "is that my dad??" Everyone was looking at me I was morto...

Another time, and I dont know where this came from, he shouted out in a public toilet, "Hey mam how are your balls??" Died of shame

pommedechocolat Tue 07-Jun-11 11:46:40

I just snorted with laughter insert.

I am also now slightly worried about dd learning to speak...

PigWhisperer Tue 07-Jun-11 11:48:13

Katvond - the men or bupcakes boobs?

NestaFiesta Tue 07-Jun-11 11:48:24

This thread has made me cry with laughter. I too have an embarrassing 4 year old.

"Daddy has made the sofa smell of his bum" etc etc

Punkatheart Tue 07-Jun-11 11:51:57

There is a joke about a little four year old whose mum lets him help the builders working on their house. When they leave the mother comforts the child - telling him that they will be back tomorrow.

'Yes but only if Jewson deliver those fucking bricks on bastard time,' says boy.

shock

DrSeuss Tue 07-Jun-11 11:54:21

DS to a friend of mine who saw him at the park with DH and told him to tell mummy to come round for a coffee sometime-"My mummy doesn't drink coffee, she only drinks wine".

kickingking Tue 07-Jun-11 11:58:59

Mine said to me in a loud sing-song voice, in a public toliet cubicle: "Mummy, I can see your hairy twinkle"

It was a long, long time before we emerged from that cubicle.

piprabbit Tue 07-Jun-11 11:59:17

Was in a very long, quiet queue with 2yo DS, who starts the following conversation:

DS: I have willy
Me: Yes, you do.
DS: Daddy has a willy
Me: Yes, he does <aware that the rest of the queue are now listening intently>
DS: Do you have a willy?
Me: <aware that entire queue is waiting for my answer> No, I don't.

DS returns to quietly kicking me on the shin...

Happymm Tue 07-Jun-11 11:59:56

That's nothing! DS in reception playground for drop off yesterday morning with hordes of mummies and daddy's around, "oh, Miss, I can't bring any old toilet rolls in for crap craft project, as mummy has used them all to stick up her fou fou so she doesn't wet herself". I thought I'd explained tampax to him a litle better than that. Oh, the shame blushblushblush

Happymm Tue 07-Jun-11 12:02:01

A little better even smile

WishIWasRimaHorton Tue 07-Jun-11 12:03:58

oh yes, little boys and their ways. in the swimming pool changing room, DS said with great delight 'oh good, mummy. you have your boobies on today'.

blush

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Tue 07-Jun-11 12:07:25

My 2.5 year old daughter told me (and the queue waiting for a free cubicle) yesterday that "you have snot on your knickers, mummy".

insertfunnynicknamehere Tue 07-Jun-11 12:07:34

My DS also randomly walked in to pre school one morning and shouted(god he likes to shout) "oh hey fuckers!!!!!" I honest to god do not know where he gets these words from..

onclefestere Tue 07-Jun-11 12:10:26

when I was 8 and my Mum was breastfeeding my sister, i decided that I would BF my teddy. Cue my somewhat portly Grandma asking me what I was doing and me replying "I'm breastfeeding him, Grandma. All ladies have breasts; I expect you have some under all that fat."

BrainSurgeon Tue 07-Jun-11 12:13:16

Worst offence so far by DS (aged 2.8) was to say "Mummy I want to go home now" 30 seconds after we arrived at a play date...
I've got all the best ones to come I'm sure!

icooksocks Tue 07-Jun-11 12:16:29

My ds1 quite proudly shouted out mummy look boobie covers (bras) in Asda this morning. He wasn't quiet and said it several times.

Don't worry, ladies - the time will come when you will be able to embarrass your darling children far, far more than they are doing now. Just by existing, and speaking to them in public. Or kissing them goodbye at the secondary school gates. Or showing their cute baby pictures to the girls/boys they bring home.

Mwahhhahahaha!!

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