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To think DH is a bit unreasonable?

(56 Posts)
WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 16:49:58

He's unemployed...made redundant just before Christmas...fair enough he IS looking very hard. I work from home..he looks after our toddler in the aftenoons while I work. He's gone on some mad "detox" and earlier he said "Don't cook that chicken as I won't be able to eat meat for a few days"

Fair enough I said..maybe you could do something else while I work?

There is a fridge full of things and I said that DD2 likes baked potatoes. He just called me down for "dinner" and it was half a haked potato sitting alone on a side plate! Not even a leaf of lettuce to cheer it up!

He gave DD1 some butter with hers but as DD1 wont eat potatoes he simply never made anything for her! Shes 2...I woud have given her some potato with ham, cheese, salad..that's my tactic...not making her special meals and ignoring it if she leaves things...but to make NOTHING! What?

I left my half a spud where it was and came back to my comp. and he was all grumpy as I am apparently ungrateful!

I'm pee'd off! He wouldn't "let me" cook chicken and his replacement is half a potato for me and nothing for DD1!

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 16:54:19

He has been coping quite well really...but this really annoyed me for some reason.

waitwhat Wed 12-Jan-11 16:56:11

Order you and dd a take away and let your dh detoxgrin

charliesmommy Wed 12-Jan-11 16:57:40

It isnt a case of unreasonable. It isnt a balance nutritional diet for a child, who has no choice in what she is given.

Tell him if he wants to be make himself ill fine, and cook for yourself and your daughter.

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:00:26

Thing is cahrliesmommy...I was working all day...I couldn't just stop to cook.

He needs to realise that they need feeding!

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:01:13

i would have told him to cook the chicken and then something separate for himself. afetrall he is teh one on teh detox, why should teh rest of you have to be on it aswell. and yes a backed potato s not balanced.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:04:35

wtf is a backed potato?? hmm

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:04:43

He wouldn't cook the chicken as he is "saving" it up!

We're on a v tight budget...one chicken per week grin and he knew if DDs and I ate it all up then he'd get none for ages.

Seriously...we're living on what I can scrape up as a freelancer and that means food shopping costs 60 quid per week and no more. Nappies, cleaning stuff too.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:05:45

i agree wimple, if you had been working out of the house he would have had to cook for himself and teh dcs, thsi is just teh same. just because you were on the premises doesn't mean you must cook all meals. if he wants to detox, fine, but he still has to feed his children.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:06:48

well if he wont cook the chicken he has to provide a decent alternative.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:07:55

i can just imagine if i was on a diet and producing just a baked potato for my dcs (i ama single parent). it just isn't on.

TrillianAstra Wed 12-Jan-11 17:08:36

How bizarre - is he normally weird about food?

If he is making dinner then he should make a decent balanced dinner. His "detoxing" (which is unnecessary and crap btw) is his problem.

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:10:42

For three days now he has given the DC carbs and nothing else for tea and Ihave had to go down and give them additional things after.

One day they all had a bowl of white rice...tis' like blinking Tenko round here!

I wouldn't mind but I am a careful shopper and there is plenty of proper food...sausages, stir fry beef, fish, beans, tuna, ham, cheese, bacon nd chops...what's up with him!

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:12:49

Trillian I honestly think he has an eating disorder tbh sad He has done weird detoxes since we met...I think they're crash diest by another name.

I made bacon sandwiches for lunch and he would not have any but took over the cooking..I thnk so he could be part of it still...quite an anorexic thing imo.

He's not anorexic...he's shortish and v fit...muscular and quite "Into" his body iywim.

TrillianAstra Wed 12-Jan-11 17:13:44

What kind of ridiculous detox is this?

Bogeyface Wed 12-Jan-11 17:13:44

Yes you are because he wasnt being a bit U he was being TOTALLY U!

To not feed a toddler just because she doesnt fit in with his detox is outrageous!

Sounds like he needs lesson in child nutrition because a plain baked potato is not a full meal for a small child. And to not give the other one anything...I just cant get my head around that! He might have decided to detox but to restrict a childs diet in that way is potentially dangerous. A child does not need to detox. He is being amazingly selfish.

I would be having words of the loud and angry kind and then furnishing him with printed out info on basic child feeding requirements!

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:14:38

He just came up with some garlic bread for me so I think he knows he's been a bit odd.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:16:01

sorry but you need to have this out with him. he is being totally selfish, his job is to parent and not do his own thing leaing you to fix what he hasn't done. he needs to be feeding those dcs properly. his detox should not be their detox. that isn't right. you need to tell him straight thsi has to stop. the kids need decent meals. i would be so angry with my EXP if he did tghis

Bogeyface Wed 12-Jan-11 17:16:46

Xposted with you above OP.

If you think he has food ishoos then you need to get on top of it asap. He can do what he likes for himself but he cant do it to your children or they will end up with eating disorders themselves.

Perhaps you could create a menu for the week for him to cook? Or make him a list of what each of the kids (and your) meals must contain.

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:17:15

Trillian...he drinks a lot of herbal teas...takes some odd supplements and eats barely anything when he does these things.

His "real" job is in the media..he gets quite a lot of TV ads when he's on a roll...but he's been working abroad at a crappy but well paid "proper job" for the last 6 months and he's gotten less fit than normal.

He's a bit obsessed tbh. BUt if I get a bit "Oh I think I'll lose some weight" Then he is very unhappy with it because I was anorexic as a teen, I am totally recovered now...size 12 to 14 and love food!

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:18:40

Yes Bogey....he likes lists hmm wonder why? He's a bit OCD...if I make him a list he can't go wrong can he? He doesn't have to eat it.

Worry about the DDs picking up on it all though.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo Wed 12-Jan-11 17:19:17

bogey surely as an adult he should be capable of planning his family's meals by himself? why should OP have to do this? it is a parenting job not a mum job.

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:21:59

I see what you mean Boo...but he actually DOES seem incapapble..he really thinks it's reasoable to offer a bowl of rice if later you offer raw carrot and apple as a snack.

He can't see the need to have protein aparently!

I have been getting irritated with him over it for the last three days...have told him "That's not lunch! etc..but it wont go in.

DublinMammy Wed 12-Jan-11 17:22:30

YANBU, he is being a selfish idiot. What sort of numbskull DOES that? Children should never ever be on a detox and adults should only do it under supervision. I happen to be a nutritional therapist but any normal person would come to the same conclusion. Read him the riot act then cook the chicken.

WimpleOfTheBallet Wed 12-Jan-11 17:24:16

I don't think he's been putting the kids on a detox Dublin...he's just not considering their needs.

I think I will go down now...he might make me a dust sandwich if I'm lucky.

It's too bloody late to cook chicken but I will have to see the DC eat something proper.

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