OK, so a bit of background? DH and I have been married for a few years and have a child. His parents have always been a bit lukewarm towards me and have done a couple of mean things over the years, eg threatening not to come to our wedding as they 'couldn't afford the fare' (which is rubbish), but on the whole they are OK. His sister, on the other hand, was very open about her hatred of me from day 1 and has made our lives a misery throughout our whole relationship. She has done some pretty despicable things in an effort to split us up. We expected things to change after we got married and had a child, unfortunately they haven't. However, they are DH's family, so in spite of their behaviour towards me, I always make the effort.
When it is one of their birthdays or Christmas, or Fathers/Mothers Day, I always buy really nice, thoughtful, expensive presents and if they are around, we will take them out to dinner. We also generally send flowers and we always, always call. I usually get something in return, nothing flash, usual tat (sorry!) but I don't mind. It's the thought that counts.
Anyway, we are currently doing IVF and had some unexpected charges related to my treatment. As we were a bit short, we asked DH's parents to lend us some money to cover the shortfall. They are loaded, so it wasn't really a problem, and they transferred the money from their current account to us the same day. We made arrangements to pay it back over the next few months.
Anyway, a couple of weeks after they loaned us the money, it was my birthday. They didn't send a present or card, or call, they just sent a very cold 1-line email. To say I was hurt is an understatement. It's not that I need a present, I can buy my own stuff, I just felt very hurt that they had snubbed me on my birthday. My DH asked the MIL about it, and she said that the FIL was not happy about lending us the money, and that is why they didn't send me a card or a present for my birthday. DH asked the MIL why she didn't just call anyway to wish me happy birthday, and she said that the FIL was around all day so she couldn't. I find it odd that they loaned us the money if they didn't want to. It certainly didn't seem to be a problem when we asked them.
So here we are, coming up to Christmas. Due to his parents snubbing me on my birthday and his evil, messed-up sister just being, well, evil and messed-up, I have told DH that I am not going to bother with them this year. No nice, expensive presents, no dinner in a nice restaurant, nothing.
The thing is, AIBU???
Your thoughts please. Thank you.
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AIBU?
to not buy in-laws presents?
36 replies
FullaDoll · 07/12/2010 17:14
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08/12/2010 06:35
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