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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

The most painful goodbye.

75 replies

lookingforsunshine · 14/06/2015 21:08

We have been fostering a baby through a foster to adopt scheme. We have had him for 7 months. We were advised that it was guaranteed we would get him (after some initial tricky times). Few weeks ago, we were told, totally out of blue that judge had decided baby should go back to birth family. We are absolutely distraught. We lose our beautiful boy later this week. We are absolutely broken. Such a horrible shock. Judge went against professional and guardians advice. We love our little one with all our hearts. Cant believe we will lose him.

OP posts:

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lunar1 · 14/06/2015 21:10

I'm so sorry, I don't have any words of advice. I just couldn't read and run.

CocktailQueen · 14/06/2015 21:13

Oh, how very sad for you. Hugs.

thejoysofboys · 14/06/2015 21:14

That sounds truly awful sunshine. My heart goes out to you, your family and especially to the little boy. I hope the decision is what works out to be best for him.

Do SS offer any support for situations like this? I can't imagine how you feel right now but there must be others who can relate directly to your situation.

Huge hugs x

Springtimemama · 14/06/2015 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wotsitsareafterme · 14/06/2015 21:26

Can't read and run. It must be very hard.

Italiangreyhound · 14/06/2015 21:56

So sorry about this. Thinking of you.

SilverNightFairy · 14/06/2015 21:59

Looking, my heart is going out to you. I can't begin to know how you feel. Sending love and hugs to you and your family..xx

iwishkidslikedtomatoes · 14/06/2015 22:06

There was a poster on here a while back ' roodle2 ' who had the same thing happen to them, I do hope he/she sees this and contacts you so as to support each other.

I'm so so sorry, I can only imagine what you must be going through. I hope the level of support you receive from SS equals the level of support a BP who has their child adopted also receives. While they're very keen to promote foster to adopt they need to have that support in place when the few that are reversed don't happen.

TBH I don't know what to say, because I can't think of any words that would make you feel any better It's just heartbreaking for all involved. I'm so sorry.

Bringonthesunshineplease · 14/06/2015 22:11

So very sorry to hear this and I wanted to send some virtual hugs! Hope you are getting lots of support and wishing you all the best!

MoJangled · 14/06/2015 22:11

I gasped when I read this, but that will be nothing to the breath that's been knocked out of you. I can't possibly imagine what you're going through, but my heart goes out to you all.

ashtrayheart · 14/06/2015 22:20

I'm so sorry

dibly · 14/06/2015 22:38

I'm so so sorry. Please write to Martin Narey and share your story - this has to change. X

Devora · 14/06/2015 22:58

Oh, you poor thing. That is beyond heartbreaking - I'm so very sorry.

MummySparkle · 14/06/2015 23:08

Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling :(

lookingforsunshine · 14/06/2015 23:11

Thank you all. I'm glad I posted here tonight. Am touched by how many people have replied. We don't know how to live after we lose our boy. So lost.
Don't think either of us will ever trust anyone ever again.

How do we keep going? Don't have any idea what life will be about or how we function after our boy goes.
The pain is awful.

OP posts:

Isabeller · 14/06/2015 23:11

xxx

meerschweinchen · 14/06/2015 23:13

I'm so sorry, that's just heartbreaking

JesseandCeline · 14/06/2015 23:17

I am so sorry.

StaceyAndTracey · 15/06/2015 00:15

SilverNightFairy · 15/06/2015 01:05

So angry and hurt on your behalf. Please forgive me if I have got it all wrong, but I think perhaps you must be grieving...not because your sweet baby has died, but because of the wrench from him...the loss is more than I can know. I hope you are surrounded by support, by people who love and care for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

wreckingball · 15/06/2015 01:12

So sorry to read this, it must be the worst thing.
I'm adopted and my Mum told me that they'd had a little boy called Christopher who they had hoped to adopt but his Mother changed her mind and wanted to keep him, this must be over 55 years ago now.
She never forgot about him.
I wonder how long he was with you and you can take solace in the fact that you've given him a good start and a lot of love.

giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows · 15/06/2015 01:34

Oh how sad x

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undermythumb · 15/06/2015 02:28

I am so sorry, I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I would reiterate Springtimes's words though I am sure it is of such little comfort.

Strokethefurrywall · 15/06/2015 02:33

Oh god you poor thing - I can't imagine your pain. Thinking of you very much, you must be in agony

undermythumb · 15/06/2015 02:38

I am so sorry, I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I would reiterate Springtimes's words though I am sure it is of such little comfort.

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