Hi approaching40notmarried I will do my best to answer your questions but must say for your benefit I am mum to a birth child aged 9, approved and linked but not yet with our new little one placed.
Your questions....
1. As a single mum, I'd like to adopt a girl, or girls (I would adopt two siblings.) Would this be a problem? I just don't honestly feel as a woman on my own I could meet a boy's needs.
You can adopt as a single person and I have heard of single adopters saying they would like a girl and I have heard of single adopters adopting more than one child. I was very set on a girl but we are now adopting a boy, and I feel very, very happy about. I do have a DH but if anything happened to our relationship to DH I would still feel able to parent a boy well, but that is only really a feeling I have had since we agreed to the match, before this I was thinking of another girl! I am not trying to change your mind. I am just saying at least initially maybe be open. I am also aware if you are only approved to adopt a girl and then see a boy you would like to apply to adopt you may not be able to adopt them without a change of that plan (this may be wrong, maybe someone else can clarify! Apologies if I am wrong!)
2. I am comfortable but pinched - I earn a modest salary and it's entirely enough for me but a stretch for a family. Enough for a wet weekend in Wales but not much else!
The social workers will look into your finances before you are approved to adopt. If they do not think you have enough money I am not sure what they would do.
3. I own my home - it's three bed with a garden - but small. A terrace. I'm guessing this would be OK?
My understanding is that you need a room per child, if they are same sex siblings it might be different. So if you want to adopt two and have a three bed house that sounds great!
4. I have no family support. Also, I'd have to work full time - would this be a problem?
By family support do you mean from your extended family? We get little family support really, all our relatives live far away (bar one set of grandparents - who are very kind and look after our DD about 5 or 6 times a year when I am working in holiday but not over night and things may be different with our new son, at least at first).
Personally, I think you would need to build up some support locally from other people, ideally parents, people who you can turn to in a difficulty etc. This can seem hard when you don't yet have kids, once you have kids you end up with (or at least I have) a wide circle of very supportive friends. To some degree this does also require you to support them so it's a bit of give and take. If you have friends who have kids locally have you babysat for them and cared for their kids? That is good experience for your as a prospective adopter and also if they can do the same for you once your little one/ones come along (after they have really settled in) then they will become your support network.
When you say 'comfortable' are you allowing for a year of adoption leave? This is what is usually recommended. If you adopt a child who is pre-school age after the adoption leave comes to an end what will happen when you go back to work? The costs of child care are high. Our child will be school age so no nursery fees but working can still involved after school care costs if you work full time and holiday care costs and not all children adapt well to nursery or after school care. Just things to think about. I am not trying to put you off just thinking through the issues with you.
What does terrify me is having so many aspects of my life turned over and uncovered.
Do you mean there are things you do not wish to discuss etc, or do you just mean in general you don't like talking about yourself?
I did not find the process very difficult. The social worker asked about our childhoods, our schooling, work etc and lots more, but nothing was too onerous. They are not looking for a perfect person who has never had any problems, but just to see how you have resolved any issues and moved on.
It sounds like you have a lot to give and parenting can be very rewarding. I wish you all the very best on your journey.