Help keep my mind busy please. DP not home and uncontactable.

(85 Posts)
OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 01:25:07

Half way between fuming and terrified.

DP went out in his home city today with his male family members. He said he was almost definitely coming home at around 6 but don't rule anything out. Last train is around 9 but he was definitely getting that. Kept in touch throughout the day and he said getting train. Fine, no issues. At 8.30, I rang and he sounded quite drunk. He asked me to check the train time. I told him and he said ok, he will be on that one. He will get a taxi as he doesn't want DD and I messed about collecting him. 30 mins after train was in our home town I called him. He can barely speak and says he is getting train. I say he has missed it, shall we just come and get him. He said he is sorting everyone else out home and then he will get an Uber. An hour later he calls off someone else's phone saying he has no battery but everyone else is safe and he will sort an Uber. I offer again to just go get him. He says no way, thanks for caring but he can sort himself out. I ask how he will with no phone. He says ermmm and that he will find a way. He will call me in the Uber. That was over an hour ago. He has no coat and is probably the most I have ever known him to be in 15 years and he can handle his drink.

Watching golden girls with DD who is equally fuming/worried. Why wouldn't he just let us get him rather than sitting up worrying that he's asleep in an alleyway somewhere with no coat. hmmangry

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SpindleWhorl Sun 01-Aug-21 01:32:50

God yes, as well as incredibly worried I'd be angry with him and his family members who left him in that state.

Whose phone did he ring from?

Haggisfish3 Sun 01-Aug-21 01:35:45

Oh dear. Can you call the number of the phone he used back? Even just to find out where he was? Is dd small enough you could take her with you to go
Look for him?

converseandjeans Sun 01-Aug-21 01:38:14

That sounds worrying - can you call his family to find out where he was last seen?

OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 01:40:43

To make it worse when they were all together I had a text from his aunt simply saying "uncle has told me you're picking them up. He needs to come home please and not go to yours". No hello or niceties so I didn't respond but she text later (which is how I guessed he hadn't got the train) saying "uncle isn't back yet. What time are you picking them up" So I thought I would say I wasn't and DP should have been on the train. She then said two x family members are on the way home but when I asked if they knew what had happened to DP she just said not with them so don't know. I find that so rude and she does it every time they are together.

He used a strangers phone so I can't even call that one.

I was hoping I would post this and he would turn up, the way that you go to the toilet abd your food turns up in a restaurant. He knows I get really anxious about this type of stuff after so much American prime time tv.

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nancy75 Sun 01-Aug-21 01:41:13

I’d be 99% sure he is currently asleep on a relative’s sofa/floor

HadEnoughofOtherThreads Sun 01-Aug-21 01:41:31

Have you tried calling any of his male family members that he was out with?


Makesmilingyourbesthobby Sun 01-Aug-21 01:42:47

I would ring the number he called me on.
If no answers there
I would ring family members he was out with tonight.
And also try his mobile again he may just of gone to sleep on family members sofa but put phone to charge.

Christoncrutches Sun 01-Aug-21 01:45:30

Fuck texting, just pick up the phone and call the daft auntie & co!

OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 01:49:50

They all left him. Everyone parted and left him to sort himself to get home as he is going a different way so they can't tell me where he is.

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Tulips15 Sun 01-Aug-21 01:50:12

I'd call the people he was out with and then the aunty

OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 01:50:15

AMD they're all confirmed as at home without him.

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redtshirt50 Sun 01-Aug-21 01:51:27

Very uncaring of his family members to all leave him - that's not on.

I would take a drive around the area and look for him, he may have gone into some local taxi ranks to try and get a taxi?

OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 01:52:36

The area is 47 mins away and there's a chance he is en route here but not called yet. Argh!

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redtshirt50 Sun 01-Aug-21 01:52:49

You could also try the local police station. A bit extreme I know, but if he really is that drunk he could have got picked up by them and is surrently sleeeping it off in a cell.

(happened to an ex DP of mine)

ElmtreeMama Sun 01-Aug-21 01:55:59

No helpful suggestions but hope he's home soon

TheLovelinessOfDemons Sun 01-Aug-21 01:59:28

DH has only done this once. Rolled in at 6am. I hope your DH turns up soon. flowers

IHateCoronavirus Sun 01-Aug-21 01:59:56

How d is DD op? Is she old enough to stay on watch at home, while you scan the area?

Christoncrutches Sun 01-Aug-21 02:08:18

Could the fam who were with him confirm where he was last seen?

OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 02:15:49

He just called. I went mad at him, couldn't help myself. Apparently he has spent the last hour and a half/maybe two hours walking around asking someone to charge his phone or let him use theirs rather than step into any of the five fucking million black cabs in the city and get a taxi home. They all said no until one last let him charge it. At 6% he rang me which is sweet of him to tell me that he was getting an Uber. He has sobered up to his normal level of annoying drunk. So he spent 6% battery to tell me how everyone is mean not letting him use their phone and couldn't book an Uber. Then he's called again saying it's £67 so can I get him and he pays it to me. I said yes I just want this sorted, where are you. He finds out but I said how will I know where he is when I get there. He said it's not worth the hassle and me driving so late etc etc and he is now getting a taxi or Uber. But honestly he is still at square one of no phone to book the fucking Uber.

He even has the cheek to say I'll just get the taxi as I don't want any shit. He will be getting shit either way.

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OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 02:26:29

And I still don't know if he is actually in a cab so still not at ease. I can't wait for him to walk through the door but I also don't want him to because I might kill him.

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Tryalittlemagic Sun 01-Aug-21 02:35:07

I would just go bed. He's a grown man
He'll work it out

PluggingAway Sun 01-Aug-21 02:36:40

I would be really pissed off. He should have just let you pick him up. Would have been way less hassle and worry for you

1forAll74 Sun 01-Aug-21 02:43:25

He sounds drunk and disorganised with the way he deals with such things, so just stop worrying about him, he is not a two year old child. I would not even give him an earful when he gets home, there is no point now, after the main event.

OnlyCans Sun 01-Aug-21 02:49:25

He's an easy breezy person at the best of times, seems to think things plan themselves so add a bit of drunk and disorganised and nothing would get done! I'm exactly the opposite and plan everything. And would never let my phone battery run out!

We are a good amount of episodes into golden girls now but waiting up and you're right, no point moaning when he gets back. I just hope he doesn't talk my ear off.

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