Do you feel grown up?

[isitjustmeeh]

I was thinking this today. I'm 42 with kids a mortgage and a good job but I don't feel "grown up" I don't know why!

I have started to enjoy garden centres etc in the last year so maybe it's coming but I think my parents seemed to know much more of what they were doing at my age!

Maybe they didn't and were just putting up a good front

Hope I'm fooling the kids!

[Aimily]

Funnily enough I was having this conversation with my mum this afternoon. I'm 28, 27 weeks preg, have a mortgage, car, stable loving relationship (I'm aware I am very lucky) and was telling her how I am in no way an actual adult, I feel far from grown up, still feel about 18 some days 😳
Apparently at 48, she feels like she 'adulted' when my brother and I were children and teenagers, but now we're gone and it's back to her and dad. She said it's like they're back to the beginning and technicalities aside, she doesn't feel like a proper real adult either... I think it's a no right or wrong way situation 🤔

[Nnnnnineteen]

I felt very grown up when I had to make end of life decisions for my mother, then plan her funeral. That and the fact I am now the oldest female in the family makes me feel quite old. But day to day, not a fucking chance, I have huge imposter syndrome for house stuff, work and parenting.

[TwoShades1]

Same! Got all the adult stuff. House with mortgage, car, step kids, currently pregnant myself. I do the grocery shopping and cleaning and wash the dishes and pay bills. But I don’t feel like an adult. I keep wondering when the “adult ness” will arrive. I’m not even an immature or child like person. I’ve always been very mature, but somehow still feel like a proper adult will arrive one day and take over.

[MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord]

Yes. But I still make the same bloody stupid mistakes I always have (usually shouting off gob without engaging brain!)

[PersianStar]

I was taking about this to my OH the other day. We’ve finally moved into our own house and in the first week we had to deal with some random man knocking on the door at 11.30pm, I have blocked the sink and he’s blocked the toilet
We definitely don’t feel like the grown ups of the house and I’m 35, he’s 30.

[YouBumder]

I don’t really but given I’m 46, I know I am!

[managedmis]

Nah me neither

And I kid myself I don't look it either

[managedmis]

We own a detached house and drive a Volvo.. . I often feel like I'm living at my parents, and driving their car...

[starbrightnight]

This is great to hear. So reassuring. I thought it was just me.

I asked my daughter the other week if she thought we were properly grown up or if we are just winging it. She said we were winging it, which is what I've always felt.

I do feel a bit more grown up lately now I'm in my sixties but still not like Properly Grown Up.

[Crushedvelvetcouch]

Nope!

[ComedicCat]

No and I'm 50!

[Batsypatsy]

I'm 54, have three children over 18 and I still don't feel grown up. What's more I wish I could ask my mum what to do a lot of the time! She's still alive, but not great with advice

[cheesenpickles]

Absolutely not

[troppibambini]

Nope I'm 41 with four kids and I don't think I ever will
That said I still do daft things I did when I was teenager like go out with my friends til stupid o'clock and dance on tables it's just not as regular anymore!

[Insertinspirationalquotehere]

I do, yes. I'm a grown up, I have to act like a grown up, therefore whatever I feel is how a grown up feels.

I hate all this "oooh where's the adultier adult, I did good adulting today" shit I see people post on fb. It's self indulgent and an excuse to always be a bit crap and unreliable while other people keep the show on the road

[Crunchymum]

House, kids, cat, job, health issues (both myself and my youngest DC)

Some days I feel 100

[magimedi]

No! Mid 60's & get told by (adult) DC to act my age, not my shoe size

[MamaDane]

I'm 27 and currently expecting twins and I do not feel like an adult Hope the twins won't notice.

[Nameusernameuser]

I'm 21 and only feel grown up because all my friends are still raving and at uni. I have a kid and a house and a boyfriend. Mine and DPs friend was making jokes about eating rice for dinner and my life is so far removed from that. The girls I work with are in their 30s and we all piss about as if we are 18 doubt I'll grow up much more than this.

[Monkeybunkey]

41, own house, good job, nice car, no kids, one dog. Live alone, do all the washing/housekeeping/gardening/DIY but still don't feel like a "proper adult". I'm mature and sensible (most of the time), but still think I'm in my early twenties and long may it continue!

[SimonJT]

No, I’m 31, I have taken a few days off work to pack (moving), yesterday I spent the day at a mates, today he is at mine so we can spend the day playing mario kart.

[BlueMerchant]

When my two DC were little I couldn't believe I was allowed to look after them alone with no adult supervision. I was 29!.
They are now 8&9 and I often feel a kind of strange unreal feeling that they are my responsibility.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I'm over 40. No mortgage, no car, no relationship, no contents insurance. Am I an adult?

[MillicentMargaretAmanda]

As I tell teenagers of my acquaintance, inside most adults is an 18 year old looking around going 'what the hell just happened??'

[LittleMissEngineer]

Yes, but at 45 with a 9 year old and now both parents have passed away (one 15 years ago, so a lot of responsibility for my mum over much serious illness and recent years made me grow up).

I have a responsible job and do fine. I am often outside of my comfort zone (but seem to successfully seek help a lot). I am also beginning to realise that my more senior colleagues “wing it” a lot too...

I don’t think that you have to become a Stepford Wife Housewife or a little old lady to feel grown-up.