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Do you feel grown up?

(55 Posts)
isitjustmeeh Tue 16-Apr-19 22:45:03

I was thinking this today. I'm 42 with kids a mortgage and a good job but I don't feel "grown up" I don't know why!

I have started to enjoy garden centres etc in the last year so maybe it's coming but I think my parents seemed to know much more of what they were doing at my age!

Maybe they didn't and were just putting up a good front

Hope I'm fooling the kids!

Aimily Tue 16-Apr-19 22:52:10

Funnily enough I was having this conversation with my mum this afternoon. I'm 28, 27 weeks preg, have a mortgage, car, stable loving relationship (I'm aware I am very lucky) and was telling her how I am in no way an actual adult, I feel far from grown up, still feel about 18 some days 😳
Apparently at 48, she feels like she 'adulted' when my brother and I were children and teenagers, but now we're gone and it's back to her and dad. She said it's like they're back to the beginning and technicalities aside, she doesn't feel like a proper real adult either... I think it's a no right or wrong way situation 🤔

Nnnnnineteen Tue 16-Apr-19 23:20:56

I felt very grown up when I had to make end of life decisions for my mother, then plan her funeral. That and the fact I am now the oldest female in the family makes me feel quite old. But day to day, not a fucking chance, I have huge imposter syndrome for house stuff, work and parenting.

TwoShades1 Wed 17-Apr-19 00:08:33

Same! Got all the adult stuff. House with mortgage, car, step kids, currently pregnant myself. I do the grocery shopping and cleaning and wash the dishes and pay bills. But I don’t feel like an adult. I keep wondering when the “adult ness” will arrive. I’m not even an immature or child like person. I’ve always been very mature, but somehow still feel like a proper adult will arrive one day and take over. confused

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord Wed 17-Apr-19 00:15:05

Yes. But I still make the same bloody stupid mistakes I always have (usually shouting off gob without engaging brain!)

PersianStar Wed 17-Apr-19 00:20:47

I was taking about this to my OH the other day. We’ve finally moved into our own house and in the first week we had to deal with some random man knocking on the door at 11.30pm, I have blocked the sink and he’s blocked the toilet hmm
We definitely don’t feel like the grown ups of the house and I’m 35, he’s 30.

YouBumder Wed 17-Apr-19 00:21:42

I don’t really but given I’m 46, I know I am!

managedmis Wed 17-Apr-19 00:23:41

Nah me neither

And I kid myself I don't look it either confused

managedmis Wed 17-Apr-19 00:24:42

We own a detached house and drive a Volvo.. . I often feel like I'm living at my parents, and driving their car... grin

starbrightnight Wed 17-Apr-19 00:29:16

This is great to hear. So reassuring. I thought it was just me.

I asked my daughter the other week if she thought we were properly grown up or if we are just winging it. She said we were winging it, which is what I've always felt.

I do feel a bit more grown up lately now I'm in my sixties but still not like Properly Grown Up.

Crushedvelvetcouch Wed 17-Apr-19 00:30:29


ComedicCat Wed 17-Apr-19 00:32:57

No and I'm 50!

Batsypatsy Wed 17-Apr-19 00:37:59

I'm 54, have three children over 18 and I still don't feel grown up. What's more I wish I could ask my mum what to do a lot of the time! She's still alive, but not great with advice confused

cheesenpickles Wed 17-Apr-19 08:04:57

Absolutely not grin

troppibambini Wed 17-Apr-19 08:14:35

Nope I'm 41 with four kids and I don't think I ever willgrin
That said I still do daft things I did when I was teenager like go out with my friends til stupid o'clock and dance on tables it's just not as regular anymore!

Insertinspirationalquotehere Wed 17-Apr-19 08:27:48

I do, yes. I'm a grown up, I have to act like a grown up, therefore whatever I feel is how a grown up feels.

I hate all this "oooh where's the adultier adult, I did good adulting today" shit I see people post on fb. It's self indulgent and an excuse to always be a bit crap and unreliable while other people keep the show on the road

Crunchymum Wed 17-Apr-19 08:32:38

House, kids, cat, job, health issues (both myself and my youngest DC)

Some days I feel 100 sad

magimedi Wed 17-Apr-19 08:43:13

No! Mid 60's & get told by (adult) DC to act my age, not my shoe size grin

MamaDane Wed 17-Apr-19 08:45:43

I'm 27 and currently expecting twins and I do not feel like an adult grin Hope the twins won't notice.

Nameusernameuser Wed 17-Apr-19 08:51:50

I'm 21 and only feel grown up because all my friends are still raving and at uni. I have a kid and a house and a boyfriend. Mine and DPs friend was making jokes about eating rice for dinner and my life is so far removed from that. The girls I work with are in their 30s and we all piss about as if we are 18 grin doubt I'll grow up much more than this.

Monkeybunkey Wed 17-Apr-19 08:59:47

41, own house, good job, nice car, no kids, one dog. Live alone, do all the washing/housekeeping/gardening/DIY but still don't feel like a "proper adult". I'm mature and sensible (most of the time), but still think I'm in my early twenties and long may it continue!

SimonJT Wed 17-Apr-19 09:03:12

No, I’m 31, I have taken a few days off work to pack (moving), yesterday I spent the day at a mates, today he is at mine so we can spend the day playing mario kart.

BlueMerchant Wed 17-Apr-19 09:07:51

When my two DC were little I couldn't believe I was allowed to look after them alone with no adult supervision. I was 29!.
They are now 8&9 and I often feel a kind of strange unreal feeling that they are my responsibility.

Gwenhwyfar Thu 18-Apr-19 18:26:22

I'm over 40. No mortgage, no car, no relationship, no contents insurance. Am I an adult?

MillicentMargaretAmanda Thu 18-Apr-19 21:49:00

As I tell teenagers of my acquaintance, inside most adults is an 18 year old looking around going 'what the hell just happened??'

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