Adoption: live webchat with Oona King and Jeffrey Coleman, Mon, 31 Oct, 1-2pm

Hi there. I'm glad there is more press around adoption at the moment. Can only be a good thing. I'd like to know 1. their opinion on concurrent planning and 2. whether companies could be persuaded to apply the same maternity policies to it as adoption? Thanks

Hi Oona, I've always had a very high regard for you, so it's great to have you here!

Did you adopt your two children separately? If so, how did you find the experience of 'blending' the family when you adopted child no 2? This is our main concern wrt adoption, as we already have children but would love to adopt in future years.

I don't have a question but just wanted to say what an amazing woman you are. You're two children are truly blessed to have you as a mum x

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Hi Both. Interest declared: I'm an adoptee. My question is a two-parter: 1. Do you support the Government's policy to support mixed-race adoption? 2. Do you think it's odd that it's taken so long to introduce this policy, given that "White" children from different backgrounds (Spanish, Greek, Italian etc.) have always been placed with "White" parents who may not share that particular background? Has something changed about the way Government thinks about race and nationality? Or is it just about numbers? Thanks.

Just wondering how we can persuade parents to adopt older children. Understandable that most families want to start with babies but the practical reality is that its more likely to be children over 18 months that need new families.

I'm not a mum as I'm unable to have children after surviving cancer 9 years ago. However I have frequently thought of the love and security my husband and I could give to a child. Naturally it's important to ensure children are placed with appropriate families, but the timescale and stress that must go with the process worry me. Hence my question is are the times scales and overall adoption process to be within scope of this review? And when should it be completed by?

We are Christians and hold mainstream Christian views regarding, for example, sex outside of marriage, and would be very interested in opening our family and adopting children. However, I've heard that we wouldn't 'pass' the selection process because we hold those views and would bring up our children teaching them these values and hoping that they would become Christians too.

Are my concerns without foundation?

Hello. The current process for 2nd time adopters seems extraordinarily long, and too full of red tape, especially considering the fact that ss have already approved the adopters once (often relatively recently). Are there any plans to make the process easier and quicker for 2nd-time adopters?

Hi, I'm the lesbian mother of two lovely girls - a birth child and a mixed race adopted child, now aged 2. I've enjoyed reading your accounts of adopting your children, Oona. (I also met your mum once - nice lady .)

My question is about religious matching, which isn't talked about nearly as much as ethnic matching, but can still be a big issue in the system. We were assured during prep that the law requires religious matching - which is the first and last I've heard of it - but it's often an issue in matching. There was a rocky moment in our matching because the birth father converted to Islam while in prison, and I know that gay people with, say, Muslim heritage often have problems because they have only been able to adopt children with the same heritage, but then they have been found wanting on the faith criteria.

What do you think about it? Personally, I'm more convinced where the faith is part of a deep and enduring religious and cultural heritage. I got slightly irritated with looking at possible matches where the birth parents were specifying Christianity when they themselves appeared to wear any kind of faith extremely lightly...

Hi Oona,
I would be really interested in your views on how prospective adopters of different ethnic backgrounds can be supported to avoid where possible issues around negative self identity and self esteem that may arise if adoptive parents do not have some experience of the culture that their children are from?
Also on a personal note, your Mum taught me for the last 2 years of my schooling and the last two years before her retirement, and she almost singlehandedly changed the course of my life. She remains to this day the greatest teacher I have ever come across and when I graduated from both my BA and MA inside I dedicated it to her. (Also your lovely brother gave up his free time to help me with my maths GCSE.) So a massive thank you to her

MotherInWaiting - that is shocking. All sympathies.

BartletForAmerica - can I comment on your situation? My social worker - a lovely, sensible woman - would have taken the stance that all prospective adopters need to consider the implications of raising a child who started off in another family, another family that may have held very different views, values and cultural traditions from our own. That doesn't mean that we have no right to stay true to our own values, and pass them on to our children, but we do have to be sensitive and avoid creating internal conflict for the child between their old and new families. We also have to help our children make sense of their past, being honest about the situation they came from without increasing any sense of shame about their origins or negative feelings about their birth family.

I had to discuss - with the social worker, and at panel - what it may mean for my child to be raised with two mothers, and how I would prepare her to negotiate this with the outside world, developing confidence and pride in her family without cutting her off from the 'normal club'. You may have to discuss how, for example, you will talk about extramarital sex without inducing shame in a child who may have been born as a result of it.

Of course, you may have to deal with social workers who are prejudiced against christianity, as you would find in the general population. I had to deal with social workers who were prejudiced against homosexuality. In adoption, social workers have a great deal of room to exercise their particular bugbears, IME.

Hello. I'm a very lucky mum to 2 wonderful adopted children (one placed at nine months and one at three months). I think I am the exception to the norm though, as many parents are having to wait years to be matched with children and increasingly the children seem to be much older.

Whilst my husband & I were going through the process of being placed with our second child, there were a few weeks (whilst seeking parental adoption consent) where we may have had to become foster parents to allow for a faster and smoother transition to adoption - concurrent planning? If the system is slowing down in terms of children placed for adoption and the age of children placed for adoption is going up, then surely it makes sense to pursue concurrent planning. This would allow children to be fostered and then adopted by one set of parents at a crucial and vulnerable age. I know there are risks to the foster / adopted parents but the children would surely benefit.

What are your views on concurrent planning in adoption (such as the Coram Project) and what do you think has to happen to speed up the adoption process for children and parents in the UK?

I would like to ask Jeffrey Coleman and Oona King about the support available to children and families post-adoption. Many children, including my own, adopted from the care system are profoundly affected by past neglect and abuse and yet the education and mental health services don't seem equipped to support, or to even understand the need for support. The all-pervading myth is still that these children's problems are 'solved' once they are placed.

What hope is there to provide a robust package of support for our children?

Wouldn't better support save money over the longer term (reduced adoption break down, lower school exclusions etc)?

Thank you.

Oona, would also like to add that you are spot on when you stated that you love your adopted children to the point that you are grateful that you are infertile so that you have them in your life. This is exactly how I feel until they become teenagers and hate me .

Adoption can and does work for so many families.

It is time that Grandparents are considered for adopting their grandchildren, if appropriate and safe for the children.
It can give continuity and stability for the children.

I've just been through the adoption approval process for adopting abroad (while living in the country so slightly different but we're British so it's through the UK). We've been struck by how much simpler and more positive we found the process here than we have heard it is for people adopting in the UK. My question is, how can families be convinced to adopt from the UK when the process abroad seems so much simpler and the chance of getting a younger child is so much higher? Is the process going to be made simpler? Are fewer restrictions going to be imposed? (sorry - all part of the same question!)

I'm entirely in favour of concurrent planning on two conditions, birth parents are properly prepared and advised of what's at stake. Second adopters are prepared to lose or gain the child .

To speed up the process we need to massively reduce court delays in care proceedings and increase the number of adopters for sibling groups and children with special needs by promising and providing more support of all kinds.

I think we need a more streamlined process in the UK that moves faster for adopters and for children. It still needs to be rigorous and regulated but the average of two point seven years from entry into care to adoption is far too long.

I'm in favour of more grandparent adoptions, US style than we have at present, for situations where you need complete legal permanence and security for a child. You're probably aware that most special guardianship orders are made to grandparents, and that's fine, but in some cases adoption may have been preferable.

Hi there, congratulations on your wonderful family. I'm in the process of adopting my third child, and the first thing I asked my social worker was if we could look at concurrent planning. She said the biggest problem is that it is very resource-intensive, and that means her adoption agency (my adoption agency) won't be looking at it. I think that's really disappointing, but not surprising, as a lot of problems in the care system come down to a lack of resources. I think the Coram Project is a great example of how to reduce the heart-breaking waiting time when there are babies that need homes, and I wish it was more widely available. I might change my mind, though, if I was given a baby that I thought was my child for life, and then after six months had to hand the baby back again. That would kill me... I think good foster carers are the most wonderful and incredible people in Britain.

Overall we need a national approach to a national problem (the Government is looking at introducing regional agencies so that prospective adopters in one borough aren't turned down, when the Borough next door needs adopters). And we urgently need to speed up the courts and prioritise adoption cases. These cases change people's lives.

This is an excellent question. Most children who are adopted have endured neglect or maltreatment pre or post birth. So there is always the probability of significant support issues arising. The adoption support REGS 2005 enable adopters to ask for reassessments of their adoption support needs at any time . This is a legal obligation that adoption agencies have to respond to. Problem is adoption support is still a post code lottery and needs significantly more resources e.g. no long waiting lists for therapy.