35, 2 kids and need to change careers - cuckoo land?

[micegg]

I am 35 and have 2 kids (almost, one on the way and one aged 2). I am currently working in a very specialised scientific field (dont want to reveal what exactly). I am bored and frustrated at work due to lack of career prospects and poor earning potential. However, I had resigned myself to it as I felt my skills were too specialised to be transferable and its P/T and fairly flexible. The working environemnt is pretty awful as well. Very competitive and heirachial (sp? )and particualrly since going PT I have felt bottom of the pile so to speak.

Anyway, last night DH and I had a bit of a row in which he said he felt I had given up on work (true) and wasnt really going to achieve my full potential doing my current role. Its been a bit of a wake up call for me as its made me relaise how much confidence I have lost in the last few years and how much I do want a job where I can progress. DH and I would eventually like to move to a better area, etc and would like money to be less of an issue in the future (things are abit tight right now and we have alot of debt). I really need to tackle this. I am on mt leave in a few months and then plan on taking a career break so will probably be looking to do something else in a few years. By then I will be 37. Am I just crazy and should stick to what I know or is it not too late for a change? I am either thinking of looking for somthing related to what I do with more management type skills attached or for a complete change. I have always been interested in HR for example but have no idea where to start. Anyone changed careers under these circumstances?

[micegg]

Thanks RuthT. Your advice is very helpful. I am going to print this thread off so I can keep it for future reference. I have decided to start looking into HR in as much detail as I can. Unfortunately I dont know anyone who works in that area at work as the HR dpt is in HQ 80 miles from me. I alo dont think work would allow me any time to spend in that dpt due to targets, etc. However, I think I will start small and look for some related courses in adult education colleges that I can do whilst on mat leave. That will give me a taster and allow me to build some skills up. Once DD is at school (3 yrs from now) and the next one will be at nursery school I will start looking more seriously at training and/or jobs. I always planned to go back f/t once the youngest was at school anyway so if this happend a few years earlier it would be fine.

I really like the idea of CAB. I will definately remember that one.

I actually feel quite excited about the whole thing. I was most definately beginning to feel as though I had been left on the scrap heap in terms of career, etc.

Re: DH. Yes I do think he thinks I will get bored. He also must have picked up on how I had been feleing at work and what affect that was having in terms of feeling like I was going no where. Sometimes it just takes someone else to pointit out before you see it yourself.

Thanks to you all.

[RuthT]

I think Flowery gives some good advice, why aren't people like you around when I am recuriting!

It sounds like you have made one clear decision which is your career break for a few years.

Picking up on the HR thread, I have worked in HR for too many years and I love it. It is tough but mentally stimulating and you get to see how organisations work. It is difficult but not impossible to get into, but like Flowery I think choosing your organisation is really important and more so the boss you would report in to. The tough bit is part time.

So my advice is to look into studying / practicing in areas that could help you secure a role.

First you need to get real clarity on whether you really want HR, and if it is what you want then have a clear path to get there.

There are a lot of people I meet in my org who want to get into HR but they tend to want to do what they consider the nice bits of the role and not the tough bits e.g. set up interesting organisational development interventions but not do the employee relations.

What I never understand is that they don't use the HR people in front of them to guide them and advise them.

So I would pick on a HR person you know and take them for coffee, grill them on what they do and how they got there. They may be 'helpful' in articulating how hard it is to get into. Just listen and take what info you need.

Think about whether you could ask to shadow one of them for a day before you go on maternity.

Are there projects you could get involved in for your department/function that work with HR before you go?

Your business must have some sort of employee forum with elected reps, could you do this?

If not look into doing the CIPD and if that is too much to commit to now then see if there are other adult learning courses you could do when your little one is 3+ months e.g. coaching, counselling etc.

If you do the CIPD and need a shoe in to employers but are still off work call up the CAB and see if they need advisers who can search the employment law info and do sessions. Great for your cv.

I have to say whichever areas it is you decide to persue then slowly but steadily just do things that keep you on the path to do it.

Try to do a few things that start to build up for potential interviews.

Last note on your husbands comment. Given that you must have agreed that your career is going to take a back seat for a couple of years his comment is interesting. It clearly made you think, which is never a bad thing. Is he just worried that you'll get bored?

[micegg]

Thanks FBB! You are right to make your points. Yes I would be prepared to work FT but preferably not until my yougest (yet to be born) is around 4. That would give me some time to look into doing some courses leading up to applying for the jobs. Money is tight but not to the point where I wouldnt able to take some time out to study. We will be debt free by this time next year (apart from the mortgage) and if I were to be loooking at something that was in the long term more financially rewarding then we would look at it as an investment. I must admit I am sailing on enthusiasm at the moment. Up until the row with DH last night I had written myself off and decided that although my current job was unfullfilling I would have to stick with it and we could concentarte on DHs career. Its been a bit of a liberating moment just to admit I do actually want a career rather than just a job and that I could do something else. I think I will take some time out to look into my options.

[flowerybeanbag]

Firstly you are not crazy! Lots of people do this and do it successfully.

However a couple of things concern me about your post. You mention money being tight. A change of career will often mean a salary drop/studying which you may have to pay for.

Do you want to stick with P/T in your new career? You may find it difficult to find a post in a new field which allows you to progress in the way you want to in a p/t capacity, at least to start with. I suspect you would find it easier if you can work f/t at least initially.

I certainly don't want to throw cold water on your plans, I am full of admiration and would like to encourage you but I also feel I need to draw your attention to these possible drawbacks in case you haven't considered them, to enable you to do so and come up with appropriate and realistic plans to address them if necessary.

Regarding HR, you are right to think it is interesting! You sound as though you want a 'career' rather than a job you enjoy. If you want to progress and make a career in HR you will probably need to do the CIPD's qualification. There are details of different ways to qualify on the website which was linked to earlier. You can do pt study which takes a couple of years or distance learning. It is much easier and more meaningful to complete this course while working in an HR role, but not absolutely essential. If you can get a junior HR role lots of companies will sponsor you through it, or will allow you time off to study.

I would be concerned about you being frustrated though, unless you have experience in a similar field you would probably have to start at the bottom (the same applies for lots of career options obviously) and might not have much involvement in the 'meaty' stuff for a couple of years. Having said that, experience of working in a 'real' job in an organisation, not in a support function, is hugely valuable and valued in HR, much preferable to going into HR straight from university with little or no experience of real working life imo. This may help you progress much quicker. Also, careful selection of the type of organisation you work in may have a huge impact on what kind of involvement you have.

I am aware that I might be coming across a bit negative. I don't intend that, it is definitely possible and could be a hugely positive and rewarding experience. I just feel the need to be realistic about it as I wouldn't want you to do into anything in a rosy-hued blaze of enthusiasm and have all your expectations dashed iyswim.

do email me on flowery dot beanbag at ntlworld dot com if you would like a more detailed chat

[yurt1]

I'm 36 with 3 children (ages 2-8) and am changing areas. It's fine. I did a course for the last 2 years part time, and now I'm being paid in my new area.

[claraquitebignow]

Hi - I am in a very similar position, but older (39). I have one child who is 2 and another on the way (within the next 2 weeks....). I resigned from my old job (London or overseas-based and not child friendly) after having dd and have been a SAHM since then.

But I would love to get back to work at some point, preferably in the next couple of years and ideally part-time but also have had no ideas where to start. This far into my pregnancy it's hard to think about so I will be waiting until the fog clears a bit before making any plans. But it's good to hear people's positive experiences.

I will probably be back posting something similar in about 6 months time....

[karen999]

Not found any problems so far and tbh I have loved every minute of it. It was like I was doing something for myself and I have made fab friends over the years.

It is hard work but if you are motivated and determined you will do it. I have just completed my law degree and have worked in this sector for a few years now. I also undertook my paralegal exams when I was working and studying for my degree so it can't be that hard.

If you feel like this, you should act upon it otherwise you might always be thinking "what if??"

[micegg]

PTA - yes I could work PT and study. In fact I could probably study whilst on Mat Leave/career break if it means my long term prospects were better. The other thig is my company is threatening to move further away in a few years so I may get redundancy. I already have a science degree so if I were to study again I would want it to be for something very specific. Will look into OU doing HR type courses.

[micegg]

karen999 - have you found the fact you have 2 kids and your age (not that i am implying you are old! But you are not uni leavers age of 21) a problem or is it not the case because of the area you work in.

Hope I didnt insult you about the age question!

[PTA]

I was in a similar situation and went back to college when ds1 was 2. I did look at going back to work in my old un-child friendly profession but I would have to have worked further away from home.

Going back to college was the best move I ever made and I was also financially better off while I trained as I got a bursery, my childcare was paid for and I got a student reduction on my council tax. I would also have received travelling expenses if I lived any further away from the college but it was within walking distance!

Hope this helps. By the way I was 35 and I now have a career and ds2. I am also doing a degree on the Open University. I know it might be difficult with two small children but could you maybe work part-time and do OU?

[karen999]

Hi, I know how you feel. I was like that for years and after the birth of my first dd I went to uni (part-time) and still worked part-time. It took me five years and have had second dd in that time (9months) so it was hard work but fairly worth it!

I am now applying for jobs that I never thought I would be able to and it is a great feeling. I am 32 by the way but in my opinion it is never too late and a lot of employers like that fact that some have got valuable experience too.

[micegg]

Thanks 3 littlefrogs. That may be a starting point. I have just had a quick peak at the cipd website (thanks Reamhar) - I like the look of it all. Dont know why but I think HR might be for me but given I know little about it I amnot sure why I think that . I have already changed careers once (8 years ago) and dont want to fall into a dead end job again.

[3littlefrogs]

I started a new career at 43 having had my last baby at nearly 42. It was a case of having to go back to work for financial reasons, but had been out of my (highly specialised and very un-child friendly) career for too long to really contemplate going back.

I actually went along to my local job centre and asked about retraining opportunities.

It was the best thing I ever did, I like my new career - which is just as well as I will be working till I am well into my 60s!!!

[micegg]

Thanks. I will look at that website. I am of the opinion that trying to go into something completely different at my age and with 2 young kids will be tricky. But I shall still look into it. I have got to the point where I want a career not a job.

[Reamhar]

If your interested in HR, have a look at this website for career info etc.

www.cipd.co.uk

Best of luck!

[flowerybeanbag]

Just having a read and had to put in a at your last post.

Will pop back a bit later with some actual advice.

[micegg]

Human resources. I think I like it mostly because Flowerbeanbags posts make it sound interesting! Maybe not a godo enough reason.

[jetson]

I think you should consider a change. If you're feeling dull and burnt out in your current role then there's no point flogging a dead horse. MT will give you a chance to think it over, explore other avenues. If there is a lack of career prospects in your current role then there is no real point staying if you're not even enjoying it anymore. What is HR?
I quit my job age 30 and went back to retrain parttime whilst working parttime in a totally unrelated field. I've never looked back to that dull office job I sat in for all those years age 22-30.