Genuine question - how much personal info do you share with your colleagues?

[LookItsMeAgain]

I work in a very small team, there is me (woman), my colleague (woman) and my team leader (man). That's it.
My colleague transferred to the team during the second lockdown and I trained them in over the internet and using WhatsApp or whatever software we could use to have online meetings at the time. I've never worked in an office with this colleague being part of my team, only remotely (in case this is relevant).
This colleague has over the past few months divulged when she is on her period, when she has migraines, when she has a smear test, when she has a urinary tract infection.
I'm uncomfortable with this information being shared with me. I don't want to know any of these things about any of my colleagues, whether they are my team mates or not.

My question is twofold. How much personal information do you share with your colleagues and is what I've described considered 'oversharing'??

[Livingonadream]

@nagrama it's very frustrating isn't it. I'm in a team that constantly complains about workload but then seems to spend most of the day going round various people chatting! I'm not a killjoy, I don't mind passing a few mins talking about last night eastenders or weekend plans but I often wonder how much work people would get done when they do the work instead of moaning how much they have to do!

[MrDarcysMa]

I personally think talking about periods and smear tests should be normalised. Women's health shouldn't be shameful or a secret.

So no op none of this would bother me.

[Sittingonabench]

I thought I was an over sharer before reading this so thanks for that! Male dominated area, know general things about family and interests and where they live... they know I am very excited about getting a haircut but that’s about as personal as it gets really. None of them know about health issues although I know of any incidents as team leader but it is kept confidential and not generally shared (heart attacks and the like have a habit of getting spread but that’s to let people know to lay off them and be a bit considerate of their stress levels)

[noblegreenk]

I work on a small team of 4 women. I've worked with 2 of them for 13 years and the other colleague for 10 years. We're like family really and I'd tell any of them almost anything. They tell me an awful lot too. We talk about health, relationships, personal stuff, our childhoods. We spend more time together in the week, than we do with our own families. I don't think any of us would ever choose to be friends if we didn't work together but we're stuck together day in, day out, and might as well do our best to get on with each other and support one another.

[nagrama]

It's not about 'women's issues' though. I'd feel the same if it were a male colleague telling me at length about his fungal toenail operation. Too much information in the workplace. If you want to go out for a drink after work and talk to your heart's content about your health problems and your kids' GCSE woes, as friends, then fine. But not in the office while you're being paid to get your work done and you're distracting other colleagues who might really not want to know!

[Pupster21]

Some colleagues might say they were on there period if having cramps, needing tampons or paracetamol. Migraines I’d know. UTI they’d likely share but we’re office based. Smear probably not.

[Time2b33]

Oh god my boss used to do this and I found it gross - especially the details she'd go into re her period 🤮

[Veryverycalmnow]

The staff room at school is full of over- sharers. I know way too much about my colleagues- medical stuff, flatulence, sexual stuff. I don't tell them much, but I'm quite an introvert.

[Pupster21]

@Veryverycalmnow there’s one woman who tells us when she’s going for a poo so I feel your pain.

[TSBelliot]

I wouldn’t even notice any of that never mind think it was over sharing. We talk about all sorts - way more personal than that stuff. Love, loss and libido to name a few topics.

[Judystilldreamsofhorses]

We’re working remotely now but it would be entirely normal for someone to say in the office that they felt crap with period pain, or be late in because of a smear test.

[RagzReturnsRebooted]

I'm an oversharer anyway, but I work in a GP surgery so we tend to talk about health stuff a lot. They know when I'm on my period because I'm in agony!
If anyone is having medical symptoms, treatment or investigations we tend to talk about it, because it's normal stuff for us and we've usually got advice or experience to share, especially being predominantly a female team, but I imagine it would be different if we worked in insurance or something!

[CommandoDog]

I used to work with a woman who hated other women mentioning periods or using them as excuse- when I asked her if she had pains or any issues she shrugged and had no bother at all snd I think that said it all.

[EBearhug]

Depends on the colleague. Some I will tell nothing, because I know from experience, they will probably tell anyone passing. Manager I say I have a medical appointment - he's never asked more, but I'd prtrll him if he did, even if it was a smear. When we used to be in the dark ages, I didn't hide if I was getting a tampon out of my drawer before going to the loo, and I have certainly said to somecolleagues I have period pains. (In one case, it was, "I have to put up with the same work shit you do and I've got bad period cramps as well, so just now, yes it is worse for me, so please shut up and go away.") Periods are normal, and some while back, I decided I wasn't hiding them just because I'm the only woman in the team. We can't all pretend they don't ever happen.

I have had some quite frank chats with female colleagues in other departments - periods, flooding, menopause, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage. Sometimes, people need to talk. We don't talk about these things every day, but sometimes. I asked HR if we had a menopause policy, and they seemed rather non-plussed. I gave a talk on period poverty once, which some people thought was brave, but I was mostly trying to get people to think about it, and support relevant charities. I wasn't talking about my own periods which would have been too much for a talk like that!

[NiceGerbil]

I was going to say, depends on how well I know them etc.

I thought you meant much more personal stuff!

I wouldn't care notice or even think anything of a female colleague saying that.

I don't really get it TBH.

[NiceGerbil]

'How much personal information do you share with your colleagues and is what I've described considered 'oversharing'??'

Erm.

Like I say depends.

I know all sorts of stuff. Political opinions, addiction issues, sex life problems, difficult backgrounds, emotional issues.... Etc

The ones I don't work closely with

Where they live
How many kids
Hobbies
Details of medical history and procedures
Pics of them as kids
.....

I can't understand your OP at all tbh.

Maybe I work in an industry where people are quite relaxed.

[Poppins2016]

Just colleagues? I might say that I have a migraine, but I'll only mention that I'm out of office for an "appointment" of any type (and not why).

Colleagues who are friends? I might say what an appointment is for if I feel comfortable. I'd say that 5% of the people I work have a possibility of knowing something like that. I don't even tend to tell my boss (who I have a good working relationship with) and we have meetings every day!

General chit chat with colleagues is a bit different... if we're in the kitchen making a cup of tea we'll talk about holidays, children, etc... but it tends to stay quite light with most colleagues!

@MrsCrosbyNRTB your team sound lovely!

[drpet49]

* I personally think talking about periods and smear tests should be normalised. Women's health shouldn't be shameful or a secret.*

^It is t about normalising. I don’t want to hear about someone’s period or smear test. I couldn’t care less. Same as I don’t want to hear if someone went for a dental check up.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

I would share all of those things.

[SelkieIntegrated]

Over the last four years, there'd be very little detail that hasn't been shared with at least one person at one point along the line, but that's because I"m not ashamed of the things that happened to me. Anything that I'm ashamed of I'd have the intention of keeping it quiet in case it damaged people's perceptions of me! But i'd probably still blurt it out to somebody at some point.

There is a woman who is a worse over-sharer than I am and that does make me pause for thought. But I'd never share as much. But still.

[EBearhug]

I was chatting to a colleague recently - we have been pretty open with each other about many things, including politics, sex, drugs. But it was interesting that when it came to trans stuff, starting with a flippant, "if I just changed my name to Dave, then I'd get a promotion!" - neither of us was quite prepared to state just where we stand on the debate and agreed not on work channels.

[PinkElephant7]

It really just depends how close you are I'd say. It wouldn't bother me if those in my team told me that kind of information (sometimes they do). Women tend to be unconcerned about sharing women's stuff with other women! Groups of women often find their periods align too so it might well get talked about if you're all 'on' at the same time! I wonder if you get colleagues might be more open as well. I know some of the younger ones in my work tell their male boss they have bad period pain and are taking the afternoon off. I wouldn't be so open as that with the guys I don't think! Mostly because they don't want to know lol.

[Woodlandbelle]

A lot of oversharing where I work and to be honest it's probably not the norm in profession.

[LookItsMeAgain]

@MrDarcysMa

I personally think talking about periods and smear tests should be normalised. Women's health shouldn't be shameful or a secret.

So no op none of this would bother me.

That's not actually what I'm saying but thank you for mentioning it. I agree that talking about periods should be a normal thing to do. Also smear tests and I completely agree that women's health should be anything but shameful or secretive.
However, would it be normal to discuss this while also chatting about a purchase order for an office chair for example or whether an invoice has been paid or if a staff member received their new IT equipment?
My colleague is dropping her medical issues into conversation while we're at work and it is the fact that she says that she has a doctors appointment that she needs to go to is enough for me. I don't like to pry and I personally feel that telling me why she has a doctor's appointment is oversharing. I know that if you have a doctor's appointment for a UTI you need to bring a sample of urine but I don't need to be told that she is bringing one in. I don't mind talking periods or smear tests with close friends or family, if the conversation moved to those topics. I just think there is a line that while you're at work (and this work is office based and not in a line of business that has anything to do with health) talking about them to the degree that this colleague does to me makes me uncomfortable.
I'm allowed to be uncomfortable about this while at work, right?

[LookItsMeAgain]

@NiceGerbil - I thought I explained that I had never worked in an office space with this colleague so she wouldn't exactly be close to me nor I to her. So no face to face contact or side by side in an actual office building. She is essentially new to the very small team as I outlined. This is not someone I've built up a long term friendship with. This is not someone I've built up anything more than a working co-worker to co-worker relationship with at the moment.
She is a work colleague that I had to train into her role and give that training remotely.
She is sharing details of her periods, smear tests and UTI's with me and I was wondering if sharing these types of details with another colleague who you have physically spend zero time with as a co-worker would be a normal thing to do or if she is over-sharing?

I can't work out why you can't work out my OP is all.