Right now, I feel like I'm sick of my job. I've been working in customer service for over a decade and I'm really good at what I do, but I feel like I've outgrown it.
The main problem is I'm not progressing. The managers in my dept all know I want to be a manager myself, and they're good about letting me supervise everyone if they're in meetings, but with Xmas we've been pretty busy so I haven't been able to do much more.
I know I'm not happy in the job, because I worked in another dept for a few months last year, and then when I came back I felt seriously down for a couple of weeks. It took me a while to realise that was why, because I didn't know I wasn't happy in the first place, if that makes sense?
I spoke to my boss today about getting me back on track to work towards promotion. I know l can definitely do the manager job, and happily he thinks so too, but I don't interview well and need to be able to demonstrate certain skills, so that's what I need to work on. When I applied a few months ago and then had the meeting to tell me I hadn't been successful, I mentioned I was planning on applying again, she told me I should think about if it was the right time. Well, thanks. It basically felt like she was telling me I wasn't good enough. That's had a hugely damaging effect on my self belief and I've ended up close to tears at my desk on more than one occasion because of that, thinking "I'm not good enough". I'm actually crying now thinking about it, which I know is crazy because I am good enough, but I need other people to think that too. I know i shouldn't, but I do.
The thing is though, I'm not 100% sure I want to work there any more. It sounds bad, but I very rarely actually care about any of the things I have to deal with for customers. I don't enjoy the job, it feels like some of management don't think I'm capable, and I'm getting more and more frustrated that I'm doing a job dealing with trivial issues that really aren't a big deal for people that think the tiniest thing entitles them to all sorts.
Really, the only thing that makes me hesitant about leaving is my colleagues. I've made some great friends there and it really would be such a hard thing to leave them. I know we could stay in touch etc, but honestly, how often does that happen? If it wasn't for them, I'd probably have looked at leaving a long time ago.
I just don't really know what to do now. I did see a job vacancy elsewhere I liked the sound of and I've applied, just waiting to see if I hear anything back. But if I don't, how do I find the motivation to keep working where I am? I definitely don't want to leave for just any other job, I want to do something l actually want to do, but if nothing comes of the one I've applied for I'm probably stuck where I am. Has anyone else felt like this, and how did you get through it?
Thanks for reading, I know it's long.
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Don't know if I want to leave or not
2 replies
Flairhead · 08/01/2020 02:36
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