So last week my boss who works remote to me came to my local office.
We get on really well on a personal level. I work in Sales and I'm pretty new to the business and joined in January. I'm above target, performing well sales wise and there is a pipeline.
However I work remotely to my team.
He basically came to the office and performed a complete character assassination - or breakdown of me as a person. Describing me as lacking self worth, self confidence, how I constantly seek approval and need to be noticed. The words, descriptions and examples he gave came out of no where - he was ready with the tissues and he knew it would come from no where to me - his words. I don't want to go into detail on the examples but I did to my family and friends - and they said that I have no malice and couldn't see the 'neediness' in the examples provided.
He said I can do the job really well I just need to come in quietly and do it and go home. My concern is I've only ever downloaded on missing my kids to my PA and my boss brought up me being a successful part time mother but that people know that and I don't need to bring that up at work. All I said to my PA was that I miss my kids when I'm at work.
Advice I have received from family range from a close family member saying to me that in a corporate environment or in this particular organisation that for me to get on I'll need to change my ways.
I haven't gone into lots of details - but examples include me helping a colleague with something and then the incident came up in a conversation and I said I had helped my colleague - my boss said I didn't need to seek further approval by telling everyone that I had helped - people could see for themselves I had helped.
He called me desperate - said I needed to be more chilled and self assured.
He said that for me to get to the next stage to look towards promotion that I needed to change.
So I've taken away from this is that I'm needy, I lack self esteem and seek approval.
The words and examples used were not the kindest and I was a blubbering wreck.
I don't feel in a position to talk to him.
Other people/ old colleagues / friends have said I can't change who I am and perhaps culturally this isn't the right business for me.
I'm at a loss really. In my head I want to go in and change and make a go of it but I feel like I can't fundamentally change myself. I'm concerned I won't fit anywhere moving forward.
I feel like any self worth I have has been knocked.
I get the message and I know what he means but I'm afraid I can't change then I would have to leave - although that's the last thing he wants.
Thoughts please on how I can make this work and how I go back to him as it was literally left with me balling my eyes out and he had to get back to his office.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.
Work
Dress down - Character Assassination
101 replies
GruffyLove · 15/09/2019 14:49
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.