Struggling at work

[Chosenbyyou]

Hi

I went back after my swcond maternity in January and have struggled ever since.

I work in a creative role for clients and do four days a week.

Prior to maternity I have always had a good reputation for my work and have been promoted several times. I am paid well.

Since coming back this time I have received poor feedback on my work. Not from the client but from my internal managers. I agree that it wasn’t amazing but was ok for the task.

It’s a very male dominated industry and I have mentioned the demands on my personal life but this has been ignored.

All roles for client are essentially full time and I have taken lots of leave and sick due to my LO starting nursery and all the bugs that brings. DH is the same but has been fine in his job.

I’m struggling - the lack of sleep is effecting my motivation, creativity and drive. I am always on the go and have no rest or relaxation ( DH is a shift working doctor so we parent on our own a lot).

Lots of things have changed which feel a bit like excuses but I don’t have the time to attend evening client functions, research new stuff in my own time, network and stay late.

Do you think my old self will come back and I will be good at my job again?

I’m so down about it. I have a new client piece coming up and intend to go all out to get good feedback!

Any advice?

[maxelly]

Sorry OP no real wisdom for you as it is really tough. The sleepless nights, the constant bugs and the general full-time need for attention are things that get less and less as the DC get older of course, but the intervening years are really hard for so many parents. With your job being creative I can totally understand how hard it is when you are exhausted/stressed. Don't beat yourself up, it sounds like you are juggling a lot of balls, and I am sure you are still as good as you ever were, which probably makes it doubly frustrating to not be producing as good a quality as you know you are capable of at the moment!

Nearly every couple I know where both parents have full-on, long-hours, live-to-work type careers make it work either through very good, very expensive childcare (a full-time nanny usually) and/or through having a lot of family support.

Otherwise one or both tends to take a bit of a step back from work temporarily, not necessarily giving up altogether but perhaps looking at a less busy role, moving to a more flexible company, going genuinely part-time (sounds like you are currently in the old cliche of doing full-time in part-time hours!) or going freelance for a bit (not always the easy option of course, it takes time and energy to build a base of clients). Are any of these an option for you?

Otherwise I don't know where your DH is in his training or what speciality etc. but would he consider doing a year or two in a non training post if he could get an easier rota/part-time, while the children are so little?