Entitled to compassionate leave?

[MittensIsReadyForWinter]

Hi all. I work part time and also look after my son during the week and my DH looks after him when I am at work. However he has been admitted to hospital undergoing tests and when he comes out he needs complete rest in bed due to his underlying condition (autoimmune disease), so he will not be able to take care of our DS cos he will be too exhausted - he already struggles enough as it is and he works as well. I've absolutely nobody else who can take care of him while I am working cos my friend goes out at the weekend so I can't ask her and everyone else is busy, and we are not made of money either so I cannot pay for a one off babysitter to do it :( I know I am going to lose my job because of this, as I have had too much time off already (DS being ill, myself being ill too). I am prepared for it but I still need to know my rights. Would this be classed we compassionate leave?

How long is this going to go on for? Have you gitcany holiday left? If you just needed a day or two I'd try and push compassionate leave through for you if you worked for me and went generally known for taking the piss. But if you are talking about weeks, unpaid leave would be my offer.

It's classed as carer's leave.

You say you can't ask your friend because she goes out at the weekend. If she is a real friend she would forego a night out to help a friend in need - or at least I would!

If you don't ask her you won't know. Explain what you have said here re your DS and DH and I am sure she'll do what she can.

How old is your DS? If he's at school, can you ask one of his friends' parents to have him? Even if you don't know them that well, you'd be surprised how happy people are to help someone having a hard time. We have a class FB group where people ask "can anyone look after x, on y day," and there are always about 3 or 4 offers within half an hour. It happens regularly, a few times a month, and that isn't even the direct asking in the playground.

If he is preschool, you could maybe ask for support from Home Start, Sure Start (whatever your local parent support service is called). I have arthritis and my HV suggested this if things flared up, can't imagine it would be different for a dad than a mum in terms of care. I am lucky with friends/family so never used it, so can't advise, but I was definitely given the impression that chronic illness and parenting was one of the things they helped with.

Compassionate leave in most organisations is granted after the death of a close family member. This sounds more like carers leave.

I'd expect unpaid carers leave for that.

In the long term it may be better to pay for a one off babysitter
You'll be losing money either way.

You can apply for parental leave as you will be caring for your DC. It is unpaid.

Just to say that Home Start does not provide childcare, it is there to support families, a volunteer could help you sort through your options but there is often a waiting list and you usually have to be referred through a HV or social worker. So not an immediate solution for you but I would really recommend it for longer term family support if you are struggling a bit.

She's no friend of a night pit means more to her than helping.

A one off sitter will be cheaper than a job loss.

* You can apply for <a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.gov.uk/parental-leave" target="_blank">parental leavee as you will be caring for your DC. It is unpaid.

This. Can you afford for the leave to be unpaid?

I’d definitely ask your friend first. This is far more important than a night out and I’d do it for a friend in a heartbeat.

Well worth looking for a baby sitter, if you do lose your job then could be waiting months for benefits and possible struggle if they think you left job without good reason. This is the job centre so their good reasons are not yours.

You need to talk o your employer and find out if you can take the time off
Be aware it may be unpaid
Alternatively, you will have to ask friends or pay for childcare
Or you could lose your job

Compassionate leave is for after the death of a family member.

Parental/carer's leave is what you want.

You are entitled to emergency dependents leave of a day or two unpaid if your childcare unexpectedly falls through. But that’s for emergencies rather than planning in advance.

If your friend is actually a friend, she’ll be happy to have him as a one off. Otherwise a school parent. I’d happily have any of DS’s classmates if their parents were in a jam, even if I hardly knew them.

But also, paying a babysitter will presumably be cheaper than losing your job? And as long as you earn more per hour than the babysitter, you are better- off doing that than taking unpaid emergency leave.

Apply for parental leave as you will be using the time to care for your son.

Parental leave is in blocks of a week, unless the child is disabled.

If you don't have the cash to front up a baby sitter I don't suppose it matters much in the longer term, it's not an option. This is a horrible situation- much sympathy OP

If you lose your job, this would be discrimination by association under the equalities act, so make sure to point this out to your employer.

How would it be discrimination by association?

It wouldn't be discrimination by association, that's something really different