OK, so how many MEN have asked for flexible working and got it?

[chocolatekimmy]

Do you know any and how did they get on?

I am also interested to hear how it was received by the employer - was it taken seriously and did it have any effect after?

[PeachyChocolateEClair]

Dh did, and he got it. It wasn't taken at all seriously- she looked at it, threw it aside and said 'we don't do that here'. he telephoned the Human resources (at that time was working for uber well known company, now his part sold off) and they took the matter in hand and gave us what we needed- basically for DH to go in and fin ish an hour earlier on certain shifts so no loss to them- sheeventually lost her job after trying a smilar manage,ment style on many poeple.

now they have reveryted to the old system which worked better for us anyhow, it was only when they changed shifts for the 4th time in a year that we applied- it was also in his letter that they agreed to do this constantly due to the effects on DS1 (we applied jointly under legislation for under 5's for ds3 and SN for ds1)

[hana]

I've read just recently that 30% of new fathers have asked for flexible hours and got it. thought that was really high tbh (today's guardian)

[Homebird8]

My DH won't ask because he knows they wouldn't even bother to listen. He currently works 60 hour weeks and is paid for 40 and I know about the European directive but it seems to make no difference. He's miserable, the DS's are miserable, I'm miserable but unless he'll ask (and he won't because...)

Aagh

[PeachyChocolateEClair]

They HAVE to ask, its law now- look up flexible working on the ACAS site. I am assuming you have a child under 5 or with SN.

[PeachyChocolateEClair]

Soory they have to LISTEN. Do get him to ask, in wirting as per the ACAS instructions

[FrayedKnot]

There is a terrible fear in the workplace about "setting a precedent".

It is like they think companies will grind to a halt if people aren;t all there at the same time clocking in and clocking out.

It also IMHo means that companies actually have to honour the contractual hours which means they can;t overwork people like they tend to.

If Homebird8's DH got flexible working he would only be working his 40 contracted hours, and potentially his workmates would see that and think, why am I working 60 hours when he's only here for 40 and we get paid teh same?

Which is disgraceful but how many comapnies operate, and perhaps economically this is the only way they can survive - although I don;t actually think that's usually the case, more likely it's simply the culture, or bad management.

[booge]

A guy in my office has, it was well received but I think our employer is exceptional.

[booge]

Now I read the thread properly I see not remotely exceptional.

[PeachyChocolateEClair]

Dh works in an industry famed for long hours and a male workplace (he's a transport manager for a haulage company), his last boss died of a cardiac arrest after his regular 24 hour shift but if people don't ask for what they are entitled to how will things ever change?

Companies can't just refuse any more, they have to give sound operational reasons why they cannot facillitate the request. having to work extra hours beyond contract won't suffice in that.

Now, I will say DH didnt ask until DS1 got his diagnosis (SN), which made it imperative he's home mroe as DS1 ccan be agressive towards me. But yu do have to make the move if you want things to change (see DH's boss above!!)

[sfxmum]

my dh did fairly easily but my emplouers did not so i'm afraid he is working fulltime and i am sahm which was our second option but someway behind the 50:50 we were hoping for

[Lio]

Just sending a to homebird8

[Homebird8]

Thanks Lio. You are kind.

DH is so wound up at the moment with work I don't think even showing him this thread would work. He'd just think I was nagging him and he needs all the support he can get.

[Lio]

So deep breath and plough on for the time being. Hey you know what, at least there is (virtual) tea and sympathy here. It won't be forever.

[Homebird8]

What a shoulder to rest my head on Lio. Thank you for tea and sympathy. Some days I need it.

[Lio]

I just know that I would find it very very hard if dh weren't around as much as he is (we are very close to spending equal time with the children and I know I am v lucky for this). I look forward to bumping into you on a happier thread

[hatwoman]

article featuring dh (and others) here

[Marina]

Dh has this in place but only a minor deviation from standard working hours. He works in higher education. His employer was fine about it. He is senior management.