commuting with kids - 50min drive too far???

[Queazy]

Hi

We're looking to move house. I'm on maternity leave and need to return to my current role for 9 months minimum or I will need to return my maternity pay. We've found a house in the area we want to be in longer term, but this area is 50mins by car. My toddler goes to my subsidised work nursery, and my baby will go there too when I return to work. I can't afford to send them to alternative childcare as its subsidised and would rather have them near me at work.

So, my question is... Is driving 50mins morning and after work unfair to them? It would be 3 days a week (I'm requesting to change my working pattern). I feel uneasy about it, but the house we've found is a great project and would be a long term family home. Ideally it will also just be for nine months. But that's a long time isn't it? Sorry for the rambling but any thoughts would be appreciated. My kids will be 3y4m and 1yr when I would start the commute.

Thanks all - much appreciated

[LilianSmith]

50 minutes drive is too far as for me... But it's for you to decide.

[dmsz]

I've done this with a 2-3 year old and with plenty of in-car entertainment such as ipad games, toys, music he was fine. I guess it depends on how well they travel?

[Queazy]

The 2-3 year plc will be fine as she'll watch the iPad for as long as she's allowed. My 5mo spends 2hrs a day in the car at the moment for a 30min nursery run (there and back twice) and spends much of the time crying He hates the car. I'm just hoping he improves with age.

[Queazy]

p.s. I don't find a nursery closer to home because my work nursery is good and so much cheaper.

[SissySpacekAteMyHamster]

I'd do it.

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

I can't imagine dc 2.6 or 11 months would cope with it tbh, they would probably fall asleep in the car and then refuse to go to bed at bedtime because they'd slept.

[ineedaholidaynow]

We did this with DS from when he was 1 (when I went back to work after maternity leave) until he went to school. I wanted him in a nursery and then a pre-school close to where DH and I worked. At first it was for 3 days a week, then increasing to 4, in the last year.

He coped (wouldn't have done it if he hadn't). In fact we loved all the chats we had in the car, as he got older.

[SocksRock]

I did 45 minutes, and it was fine. We used to have lovely chats, I miss them now they are at school and they go to wraparound care instead

[BeauGlacons]

Sounds fine to me. Less stressful than rushing back to collect them and you get more time together.

[Frazzled2207]

I know 2 kids that did/do this and cope fine. Both started when they were a few months old and are now nearly 3.

[00100001]

They'll be fine. They'll adapt, it will just be part of their routine.

[cuntinghomicidalcardigan]

On the way there you can look our of the windows and spot cows/sheep/tractors/lorries/vans whatever. On the way back could have those headrest dvd players and let them unwind watching mickey mouse or something? This is what I do with my 2. We frequently drive long distances.

[2snugglets]

Do some trial runs whilst on Mat leave. This should help you figure out what you need with you, bottle of milk for baby, iPad and snacks. I think you'll be fine

[strandedabroad]

I used to work for a family and do the driving for them. 45 minutes there and same back, 4 days a week. They had employed me as they wanted the child to go to this particular nursery and couldn't fit the driving in their working day. I did this for a year, boy was 2.5 years when I started.

It was absolutely fine. We used to chat/sing on the way there and he would often fall asleep on our way back. Surprisingly I was often told to put him straight in his bed and he wouldn't wake up until the morning (yes he missed dinner as well, not my decision).

He was a very good traveller and we never had any problems. Good luck!

[ApocalypseSlough]

It's not for ever. Do it!

[Queazy]

Thank you so much all. Someone has suggested it'll be nearer 1hr10min each way in traffic so rethinking what my cut off is!! Thanks again - I really appreciate it

[Miffyandme]

I'm going to be having a similar commute but am using a nursery near home. I have done an hour's journey today at 4.45 with my 2 year old who was fractious despite DVDs and my 1 year old who cried for the first half, then slept the second half. Tried and failed to put the 1 year old to bed 2 hours ago, so trying again now.
My anxiety about your commute with the kids would be that they nap and then you have tricky evenings and nights. Depends how they adapt with sleep etc....I've not been blessed with the best of sleepers!!

[Artandco]

I would as its not forever. If they nap then it actually easier as they can sleep say 5-6pm, then at 6pm when home they aren't exhausted so you can play nicely with them and all eat together and catch up then have later bedtime at 9pm. They can nap until he morning also if tired still.

[Queazy]

I'm completely with you all - I need to think a jug how naps could affect sleeping. It could be for the better but I suspect with my two it would mean some late evenings! xx

[Miffyandme]

It depends if you can manage to settle them if they do drop off on the journey home. As someone else said, if they napped you could gain time with them by a later bedtime, but depending on your job, you may well need to do some work at home in the evenings, I know I do, and I'd struggle with regularly very late toddler bedtimes.

Also, you say your new home would be a "project", does this mean you'll be doing lots of renovations? You may want some sort of childcare nearer home whilst that is done. I speak from experience - my extension was just about manageable with a non-mobile, fully breast fed young baby and a toddler, with two mobile toddlers it would be tricky!

[Queazy]

Thanks Miffyandme. Yes it would be renovating the house, which might be a bit mental with a 2yo and baby xx

[KayJBee]

My eldest two did a 45 minute commute with DH to his workplace nursery when they were 1 and 3yrs. It wasn't our choice but childminder gave us notice when she'd had the youngest for only 2 weeks. With only a few weeks notice, it was the only place we could find with room for both of them. And like yours was hugely subsidised by the company.

They did 2 days a week until eldest went to school and it was fine.
They didn't have breakfast in the morning but DH gave them something to munch on in the car and then they had proper breakfast when they got there. Youngest tended to fall asleep on the way home but knowing she'd already had at least some kind of tea at 4.30 ish, we didn't have to worry about a proper dinner if she was too tired when they got home.