Dh wants me to return to work

[TychosNose]

I'm not sure whether it's a good idea.
Dc are 5 and 2. So 5yo in school full time and would need to go to breakfast club and afterschool club on days I work. 2yo would be in nursery.

I'd go back to teaching so no need for holiday childcare and I'd only work part time so childcare wouldn't be every day during term time.

Dh thinks it would take the pressure off him being the sole earner but I worry that it'd make his working life more stressful because he'd have to sometimes take time off when the kids are ill.

I'm also not sure I'd actually bring much money in after paying for childcare. I don't know how benefits like tax credits or childcare vouchers work.

I love being a sahm but I do sometimes think it'd be good for me to have to use the dormant parts of my brain before they completely die off

I don't have a job to go back to so I'd have to apply etc. Scary.

Any input/experience/advice welcome.
TIA

[BathtimeFunkster]

Also, it strikes me that if he is afraid of being selected for redundancy, and his is the main wage, he might not be in a good position to be missing time due to you establishing yourself as a teacher.

If you have nobody to call in as emergency childcare, you working will have a deleterious effect on his ability to never miss any time due to parenting responsibilities.

How will his employer respond to an increase in emergency time off?

[Keeptrudging]

I worked full-time as a teacher from when my DC'S were little. I was also a lone parent at that time. I reckon I missed about an average of 3 days a year total through child illness. They went to childminder/after-school club, it worked fine.

[TychosNose]

Wow 3 days a year? Your dc have better immune systems than mine! Dd has had more than that off this school year already and we're only halfway through. In fact, this the second Monday she's had off since Christmas and ds has had a hospital appointment on a Monday so if I was working on Mondays I'd already be on my third day off (or dh would).

[TychosNose]

I'm not sure how dh's work would respond to his increased time off but most of his colleagues have dc and working partners so they must take time off sometimes (unless their dc never get sick). Tbh I'm more worried that it would increase his stress because he'd have to catch up on work in the evenings and weekends.

[BathtimeFunkster]

He is going to be more stressed if you go back to work, unless he's planning for you to bear all the stresses and carry on as if nothing has changed.

Having two working parents is more stressful than having one at home.

If he has the option of catching up at weekends, then the sickness thing falling mostly to him shouldn't be much of a problem.

[Tubbyinthehottub]

I think you're focussing too much on potential days off sick! Surely it's not that often that a child is so sick they have to stay at home? It will happen and you will deal with it, like everyone else. And arrange hospital appointments for when you can make it. Employers know that employees live in the real world. I doubt you'd be eligible for tax credits if you both have decent jobs. But it's a good idea for your husband to start collecting childcare vouchers now.

[Keeptrudging]

I had the added bonus of teaching in the same school. Under the weather child got a dose of calpol, a big hug/check at breaktime, another big hug/calpol at lunchtime. They had to be 'proper ill' before they got the day off. They are generally very healthy though.

[LouTheMac]

I work PT, DH works full time. 1 DS age 2.8

Pros:
Financially more secure
I have my own money
Keeping my hand in work wise so easier to ramp up career in the future
Talk to adults and do adult stuff !
I Get admin done at work during lunch eg sort bills, online shop
If i drop off DH picks up & vice versa. Grandparents help around preschool hours. Then childminder does 1 full day. Having a mix of options works well as always someone to fall back on.
My childminder does not charge for holidays taken so you would cut down on childcare if you can find a term time only arrangement
I can afford a cleaner so on my days off i can prioritise Time with DS
Pay using childcare vouchers which saves 20% in tax relief

Cons:
Massive juggle of work & home
As I have a mix of preschool, grandparents & childminder to juggle and all the organisation of this falls to me but school hols are the biggest juggle and you wont have this
All sick days fall to me or my mum and i find that hard as 1 day out of 3 days is a huge chunk. But when DS is sick i would rather be there for him. DH says he'll do it next time but with his job he never really can.
Things always crop up at preschool eg watching nativities, coming in for special events etc, and they seem to assume all parents stay at home and can sort things with 2 days notice, just adds to the stress
I find it hard to fit in any me time and appointments such as hair, gym etc
Even though i am at work and keeping something of a career i cant go for promotions really and it gets a bit frustrating watching more junior people get ahead
Being honest i am tired and snippy and it's putting pressure on my relationship with DH

Not sure if that helps!!

[defineme]

Do you have to go back into 'proper' teaching straight away? At my school we have 1:1 tutors for Gcse Maths, English ( paid a supply teacher wage)and now science, all totally flexible because the kids are pulled out of lessons. Exam marking?
I think it really depends on the school regarding their attitude to sickness/child sickness. At mine people are understanding if you don't take the piss, but I know of schools where a 2nd day off is out of the question and lots of schools where hod advise staff to say it's them, not the kids, that are ill or smt will be bollocking you.

[Cuttheraisins]

In my experience, the first year that a child is in childcare, they tend to get sick quite often as they are exposed to a lot more illnesses and need to develop a stronger immune system.

I am not sure if anyone has mentioned it but many nurseries will charge you full time fees even if you are on holidays or for the days that they are ill.

Would you look into a local child minder who could look after your toddler and do the school pickup? it would save you time and maybe a bit of money (check if she/he is offering free 15 hours of childcare, not all child minders or nurseries do). Some child minders prefer term time only.

[Fink]

I would definitely look at a childminder who could take both dc together rather than a nursery & wrap around school care, but that's a personal choice.

I would just warn you that part-time teacher hours are notoriously poor value. You will be expected to come in for the things that full-timers are in for even if it's not one of your working days (e.g. parents' evenings, quite often inset days or cpd courses) so be prepared to have to swap days/arrange childcare around that. You won't be entitled to much ppa time so will inevitably have to take loads of it home (as all teachers do) but then also need to come in to do photocopying et al. Not to put you off, but honestly if it were me I would go back to full-time teaching not part-time.

[TychosNose]

Sadly arranging hospital appointments at the patient's convenience is impossible - we'd been waiting since November to see the paediatric cardiologist and the first appointment was February.

Thanks for the detail Lou
Some of those obviously wouldn't apply to us but it's good to have your perspective. If it's any consolation I don't get any me time either. Haven't set foot in a gym or a hairdressers for years!

1:1 tuition would be fab. Didn't even know that sort of thing happened in schools. I will investigate. Same with marking exams. Hadn't thought of that.

There's only 1 local childminder and I wouldn't send the kids there because I've seen her being horrible to her charges too many times.

[TychosNose]

My understanding is that part time teachers can't be compelled to come in for inset unles it's their normal working day. Is that not the case? And isn't ppa time proportional to contact hours? I read this on union website but perhaps that's not how it works in practice? I guess I'll ask on the staff room board later.

[Fink]

PPA time is proportional to hours, but that means as a part-timer (already having been put at the bottom of the timetabling rota) you so may well get your ppa time slotted between teaching two periods (in two different classrooms), meaning that you miss most of it with the normal tidying away from one lesson and setting up for the next. Ditto INSET days, they can't insist that you come, but they should make sure that you receive the appropriate training, which otherwise might mean covering the INSET material in your own free time. That's how it seems to work in practice, anyway. And obviously you don't have your own room so you spend ages carting everything around between rooms.

I would only do exam marking if DH was taking that time off work and preferably taking dc away with him somewhere for a few days. It is good money but incredibly pressured for the period when you have scripts, having to mark several hundred of them in a very tight timeframe. You more or less have to stop everything else and just mark for a solid 15+ hours a day. That's the experience in our house of two teachers in any case (MFL & English), maybe some subjects are different.

[BadDoGooder]

This has been interesting reading for me!
I would love to go out to work, but sadly not having a "career" and having been in relatively low paid/minimum skilled jobs (shop manager/admin etc) means that if I do I'll be starting from the bottom of the ladder again.
If I did get a job the childcare would be more than my wages!
I am considering doing something but I don't know what, if I can't afford childcare for work, I can hardly afford it for college etc!

No help from GPs either, my mum and DPs parents live hundreds of miles away, and my DF lives with me, but is far too frail atm to do any meaningful childcare at all.

I want to start my own business but have no ability to save, and no chance of getting a loan!

It's sooo frustrating!!

Sorry for the derail but this subject seems so difficult for women, no matter what side you look at it from!

Good luck OP, I'm sorry I can't help!

[NNalreadyinuse]

I used to be a sec school teacher and have done both job sharing and supply. The down side to supply is that you have far less control than you initially think you will have. You can't entirely predict when you will be needed, which makes child care difficult - you may end up paying for child care that you don't use. You are also afraid to turn down work because you a)neex the money and b) want to be seen as a reliable choice. If you end up working in a school covering long term absence, you acquire all the responsibilities of the 'proper' staff member but none of the benefits of job security, sick and holiday pay. Although your daily rate is higher, imo it doesn't compensate for lack of proper employment rights.
The job share was fantastic. I did do more hours than I was getting paid for but who doesn't these days? Job shares are hard to come by and lots of sec schools don't like them for GCSE and A Level kids. It can work but one full timer is easier for the school.
Teaching is the kind of job where being absent for a day really inconveniences a lot of other people. Your dh has to be realistic about the level of commitment returning to work will require from you both.

If you are in England, there is a scheme at present to help teachers wanting to return to the profession, so you could receive some training to get you up to date and be placed in a school wanting to support your return. That sort of scheme might ease you back in.

[TychosNose]

Thanks fink hadn't thought about not having my own classroom. That would be a real pain. I've only ever had jobs where ppa time was slotted between teaching. Gosh does that mean some teachers get there's all in one block?

BadDoGooder it's really hard isn't it? My personal objection to working is I think I'd miss my kids so much. That's why I'd struggle with a full time job. Own business sounds like too much hard work for me, but I'm a bit lazy!

[TychosNose]

Thanks NN
That's interesting about supply. I had wondered whether it might be a bit unpredictable.

I've signed up on the return to teaching scheme already so I'll see how that goes. The problem is they want you to give your time for free and I can't do that because we couldn't afford childcare if I'm not earning. The people who work at the return to teaching thing don't seem to get that though and keep calling me during the day and wanting to have long conversations whilst I have a 2yo hanging off my leg.

[NNalreadyinuse]

Iirc, legally you can return to work any time, without doing additional training, unless you have been out of the profession for donkey's years like me. Even then, teachers only have to do a couple of weeks in a school and get themselves up to date on the latest curriculum and assessment requirements. So if you are confident that your skills are up to date, there is nothing legally to stop you just going back. A few weeks unpaid in a school might be an advantage for job interviews though. If dh took some holiday to cover childcare, I think it would be advantageous for you. Might also have the benefit of letting your dh experience the reality of you being at work.

[BathtimeFunkster]

Teachers are now expected to work for free before getting a job

Fucking hell. It's end times.

What has happened to your Union?

[TychosNose]

Quite Funkster
Sadly it's been like that for a while. When I got my first teaching job 15 years ago I was expected to go into work for a few days before my contract even started! I told them my hourly rate (I was working as a consultant in my previous profession). They told me I wasn't needed after all. Apparently the training was only essential if I was willing to be exploited.

[JizzyStradlin]

I'd definitely look into some private tutoring to get you back into the swing. Could be done at weekend so potentially DH could have the kids then.