Can I make this commute work?

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

I've got the possibility of doing my dream job. It's just a contract for 6 months but it'd open doors and I'd love to do it.

However I'm just not sure it's possible, can anyone help me work this out?

(It's long, sorry!)

DP works away a lot, so it's basically me on my own with the kids most of the time.

The dream job would be 21 hours a week, and I could chose my hours. But it's over an hour commute from my house (not including dropping DD & DS off at childcare). DD would be 15 months, DS is at school, but this would start in June, so it would cover the summer holidays too.

The journey is 1hour 20 in all, each way. But then I have to factor in dropping off at the CMs. I haven't found a CM yet, but let's be optimistic and say that would only take an extra 20 minutes. Then the whole journey would be 1 hour 40. Twice a day.

I don't mind doing the commute myself, what I mind is such a long day for the kids.

If I did 9:30-5:30, 3 days, I'd be away from the DCs from roughly 7:50am to 7:00pm. It's too much, isn't it?

An alternative would be to do 4 days, fewer hours per day. But then that's more time away overall as it's adding over 3 extra hours commute a week.

Or maybe I could get a CM near work, we could travel together (I did this when DS was little, it worked well for us). However that'd mean DS and DD being at different CMs when he's at school, that seems a bit silly - doesn't it?

Or, the back up is a not so great job in my town. 9-5, I'll be 20 minutes away from the kids, if that. But the career prospects in my industry not so great in this town.

Is there some solution I haven't thought of?!

WWYD?

[OddFodd]

I'd do it over 4 days. Does your DS's school have an after school club he could go to instead of a CM so that you could take your baby to a CM closer to your placement?

I am self-employed and sometimes am 2+ hours away from DS while he's at school. Bar one time when there was a massive flood and the motorway was shut, I've always made it back in time

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

delurking85 I don't think I'll be able to ask for home or travel-working up front, so I'd need to assume that I'll be there all the time, but a good idea, I'll ask once I've started.

Our financial situation is simple. Money is tight! We're already investing everything we can in this career change for both of us.

We are very lucky in that we own our own home, so our outgoings are minimal. However so are our incomings. We are both living on DP's salary, which is very low as he's just starting out in a new industry. He's due a payrise in March however. And if the company takes off, he should see the benefit of that in his wages. However as a start-up, it's a risky venture by nature, so who knows?!

I'm not entitled to any benefits (beyond WTC / CTC / CB) as a I'm a student.

We have debts not savings!

The placement will be paid, but it'll be low, they're typically about £15-17K pro-rata.

Actually though, for someone smart I'm being pretty dumb! I'm thinking about this as if we're just on DP's income. But mine should make a difference. It's been so long now since I've had a proper wage - two years of uni then another year and a half "intermitting" so no income, I've kinda forgotten about having a wage! ;) I wonder how it'll affect DP's tax credit though. Hmm, need to do some research.

This should all be worth it in the end. Unlike DP's chosen new career, there are loads of jobs in mine. I should be able to get a good job at the end of this. I'll appreciate having some disposable income again, we've done away with so much to manage on student incomes. I've been to the hairdresser twice in four years. My hair's nearly down to my bum now! Oh and clothes, I want to be able to just buy clothes when I want, and, and ...

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

OddFodd there is an after school club, but I don't think it's open till 7. Maybe a combination of after school club and CM, although that does feel a bit like shoving DS around from pillar to post (is that fair or is it the guilt speaking?)

[JeanSeberg]

It's only 6 months, you can do it.

Are there are any childcare options at the placement company as you mention they are great at flexible working?

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

How do you find out about nanny shares? Is it something you just arrange with a friend or is there another way to find one?

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

No childcare options through the company as far as I know. I'll find out though just in case.

If it was just DD, I'd be happier to find a solution nearer the placement. But as DS needs to be in this town for school it'd mean them going to different CMs, which seems a bit silly. I'm sure DD would love to be at a CM with her brother. But more than travelling with her mum? My goodness, so many questions and things to balance up!

[WhenWhyWhere]

I would do it over three days. Less travelling time and less travel costs.
I think it might work out as cheaper travel care too.

You will then have four days a week with the kids. Sounds perfect. There are amazing childminders about, you just have to find the right one then you won't worry about your kids.

I worked when my eldest was little and was 100% happy with my childminder. She was like an extra Granny. I still keep in touch with her and my eldest is in his twenties

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

Thanks so much for talking this through with me people, this is really helpful :)

[JeanSeberg]

Remind me how old the children are pobble, sorry if I've missed it.

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

It's the time that worries me. We've had two wonderful CMs in the past, I saw the time DS spent with them as enriching. He went from 8:30-6, so 9.5 hours. This would be even longer, potentially over 11 hours in a day. It's a lot, isn't it?

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

DD will be 14 or 15 months when I start, DS 5 and in reception.

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

It's a while till it starts though - after the uni year has ended so June or maybe even July start.

DD seems so little now (9 months). I think perhaps I need to remind myself she'll be a bouncing toddler then, about the same age as DS was when I went back to work. (Wow that feels like a long time ago now!)

[hazelnutlatte]

I do a very long commute similar to yours - it's just about doable when dh is around, as he does childminder drop off in the morning and I do pick up in the evening, so I can work 8-4 and be back at the childminder at 6. If dh is away during the week it's just impossible though - our childminder doesn't do the long hours that you are talking about, and I'm not sure that it would be easy to find someone that will.
For us this has meant that dh has had to turn down various opportunities at work, this can't go on forever though so I'm now starting to think about looking for work closer to home. It's difficult though because the city I work in has far greater opportunities than where we live.
I think in your case 6 months might be just about achievable but what about after that? When you finish Uni will you want to work there permanently? Is moving an option?

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

OK, I've had a brain wave. For the summer holidays, I think I can knock off two weeks. DP has to have some leave sometime, he could maybe take a week and hang out with the kids. Or maybe he could take a day a week leave over the summer holidays, so the kids get a whole day with him.

That's a good idea, I'll ask him if he could make that work. Then it's only two days I'd be looking for.

[lotsofcheese]

I would check out some local childminders first, as it may be difficult to find spaces for 2 DC & particularly a CM who works long days (where I am (large city) I've struggled to find a CM who works beyond 5.30/45). And as CM charge hourly per child, you might find a nanny is cheaper.

[delurking85]

there are a few websites for recruiting CMs/nannies I used to use, can't remember them now but if you google you should find them. I think nanny shares you either look on or post on the same noticeboards/adverts or go down the friend/neighbour route.
don't forget childcare vouchers which are dead easy to set up and can make an impact as you save on tax paid.
if you have a good friend with kids in the same class as DD could they do a pick up and have her for tea once or week say? i do realise these kind of arrangements can be problematic according to MN, but at least yours will be self-time limited!

[JeanSeberg]

My kids are a lot older now but the breakfast/after school club at their primary school was from 8am till 6pm.

So probably not long enough for you. Also a very long day for a 5 year old.

Childcare in your own home would be a great option wouldn't it. Especially as the placement could potentially cover 6+ weeks of summer holidays.

Any chance you would consider a small re-mortgage to release some funds from your house to cover the cost? This is a long-term investment in both yours and your partner's career, don't forget to keep the bigger picture in mind.

It might not be the greatest 6 months but the summer days will be long (hard to imagine at the beginning of January!), you'll have plenty of daylight left at the end of the day and you will still have a 3 or 4 day weekend.

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

So, there are two things here, how to manage the normal weeks and how to manage the summer.

The summer holiday is 5 weeks. If I can have holiday in one week, DP in another, I know MIL would love to have DS for a week, and he'd be really up for that too. So I'd just need to find some kind of holiday club for DS for two weeks. That's doable. (MIL is 500 miles away, unfortunately, she'd be very helpful I know if we were nearer to her).

It's the regular week I need to work out.

[WhenWhyWhere]

It will be a long day but it will only be three long days a week so I don't think its too bad at all.

[SilasGreenback]

Could you do au pair combined with child minder? So au pair does school and nursery drop off and collection and child minder does majority of care for the little one?

Would make your commute easier (as no drop off/pick up) and would mean the children could be ready for bed when you get in at 7?

Not sure how the costs would stack up against a nanny, but I would think an au pair could manage school aged child after school, so a saving on child minder there.

I'm sure you can make this work as it sounds a great opportunity for you.

[LucyLasticBand]

i would do it over 3 days,
thats 2 days of the week not working. and 2 at the weekend.

[LucyLasticBand]

are you using childminder for both? cant CM do school holidays?

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

After the placement, I'll go back to uni for a year. So I'll be finishing uni when the DCs are 2.2 and 6.6.

I'll look for something part time while DD is still so young, but yes delurking85 you've correctly identified that we'll have the same problem then! We'd love to move to the countryside nearer the city with all the cool jobs, but houses there are pricey, And we like our town and have good friends here. But maybe ...

Hopefully DP will be able to help more by then.

[Bonsoir]

Nanny.

[thepobblewhohasnotoes]

JeanSeberg great lateral thinking again, thanks

Sadly no mortgage company will touch us though AFAIK. I'm a student, and DP has only been working for 5 months, since graduation, and his status is self employed atm (should move to PAYE soon).