Dystopian nightmare?

[PhilomenaRumple]

Hello

I hit peaktrans about a week ago. Since then I’ve not slept through the night.

Everywhere I look, I see women silenced (or keeping silent), cancelled and losing jobs. I see us being erased by ‘woke’ companies and employers. Not to mention the harm being done to the LGB’s and children.

I’ve lost two close friends today because I’ve seen it for what it is and didn’t keep quiet.

I keep feeling like this is some weird 1984/Gilead sh*t and this only the beginning.

Can anyone give me some perspective on how they feel about this long-term and what will ultimately happen? I’m frightened.

In sisterhood ❤️

[PhilomenaRumple]

@OhHolyJesus thanks for the encouragement! Speaking to you all has really made me feel a lot more positive. I think I’ll give it a little time to process, embed and re-direct.

Thank you very much

[LonginesPrime]

I’ve lost two close friends today because I’ve seen it for what it is and didn’t keep quiet

OP, I was going to say be very careful, as it's easy to forget that one's right to free speech doesn't apply to women voicing concerns about women's rights, especially when it comes to this issue (because women's rights are diametrically opposed to men's desires in this context).

It's especially difficult to appreciate the risks of speaking out on this in the early days of realisation, when you still has faith that people will react fairly and logically to your views. It's so frustrating once you've seen it because it becomes blindingly obvious that some people are utterly misguided in their views on gender and sex, yet they treat their opinions as facts and treat you like a Holocaust-denier!

I'm not saying don't speak out, of course, just that I find it's necessary to do a mini risk assessment every time I question the current narrative because, as you've recently become aware, wrongthink has ruined careers and lives.

Then I saw this:

I just had to get in there and back her up

and I absolutely would have stood up for another women getting attacked for speaking up too.

Still, look after yourself!

[Chiochan]

It can be incredibly frustrating to see supposidly inteligent people believe this loonacy.

It can be incredibly crushing to see supposidly brave people keep their heads down.

It can be incredibly painful to see supposidly principled people gleefuly throwing women to the wolvs yet again.

But, it can be incredibly liberating seeing one woman stand up, despite the chorus of hate, standing out and standing up for women, unashamed.

[PhilomenaRumple]

@LonginesPrime & @chiochan

Your messages mean so very much to me today. Thank you so much for affirming I’m not crazy.

[rabbitwoman]

PhilomenaRumpole - You know, I was kinda that lone woman the other night. I was really abused and insulted by a group of people I thought were friends. But you know what? My recently aware pal rode in and came to my aid, along with my husband, and we owned them. I was trained by mumsnet, they had nothing but threats, and a lot of people watched....

Who knows what they said after they all blocked me? But I would never have done that two weeks ago and neither would my mate (my husband would die for me so he was always on side, swoon)

[PhilomenaRumple]

@rabbitwoman well done you! It’s all performance for woke points on social media. I am still reeling that I’ve actually lost what I thought were real friends. It hurts an awful lot. You, your friend and your hubby are the best!

[Howzaboutye]

OP I had a similar situation. In my case I had a very real dream about me being under attack, from men with machine guns, me hiding out behind a rock. It was terrifyingly real.
Them I woke up, remembered what I'd been reading on Mumsnet - peak transing reading the trans widows thread actually.
Reading about those poor women just changed my reality utterly.

I remember vaguely hearing about Germaine Greer, and thinking but she's a feminist, so maybe there is something in what she's saying. Nah I should be 'nice' and progressive and welcoming. Same with Jenny Murray from woman's hour. I've listened to her for years on women's hour. I KNOW she knows so much about women's lives and situations. So home come she's saying crazy stuff too?

Then I read on Mumsnet what it's actually about. Utterly horrifying.
I've been giving my husband monthly or so updates on what I'm learning. He went from wary to peak trans to this is just ridiculous.

Now, I went to the women's lib conference in London, I sign petitions, I will be writing to my mp, and I'm sharing GC stuff on Facebook.
Do need to take it slowly with friends and family. They literally cant/won't comprehend what really is happening.

[ScrimpshawTheSecond]

Yes, it's not easy. It was far easier to sail along believing feminism had won, women were liberated, and the rainbow sparkles were all about love and letting people live their best lives.

The process of discovering what was really going on was highly upsetting and discouraging.

I won't like, it's been a glum, and pretty lonely couple of years. I find myself less trusting of people, so very disappointed by how easily people are/have been duped. And above all, so horrified and depressed by the realities of women's lives. When you actually look at the stats, it can be very difficult to process. So I agree with other posters - practise 'self care', do what you can in reasonably small steps, take breaks when you can. Be aware of when your own experiences make things harder, protect yourself against that.

I try to balance doing the difficult, combative stuff (letter writing, consultations, engaging with people who disagree) with things like helping other women - offering support, spreading news, donating, etc. I can only do very tiny things, but bit by bit and combined, we have already achieved a lot. There are thousands of women waking up to this, now. Our numbers only grow.

I also like to zoom out and look at a historical overview. Think of how much has been achieved in the past hundred years, know that all of those gains were hard won by hundreds of tiny acts of bravery (sometimes by acts of huge bravery, of course). This shit has been going on for a very long time. It's our work to continue.

[LookAtTheCahhOlivahhhhh]

I've been feeling a bit low today re. all this shit. I find some days are better and I saw that Pinknews wrote an article that GC feminism is failing.
That kind of propaganda is only necessary when they're scared 🤷‍♀️

[Lovelydovey]

I’m not a vocal poster on these boards but I am an avid reader. I felt like you when my eyes We’re opened, including being very angry. But be prepared for a long fight on this and pick your battles carefully (especially if you have a woke employer). Be unfailingly polite, pick good examples and choose who you speak to carefully. Many small acts add up to a lot of change - even if not everyone sees the light instantly.

[Asdawankers]

I remember that feeling OP. It's strange how it knocks you off your axis once you've seen it. What has helped me is writing letters to my MP (& any other unfortunately company that ate the woke cookie jar). I wasn't very confident at first but did it anyway and now I feel that my communications are much more succinct. With regards to my friends, I've been careful who I have spoken to but all have got it, and my family (except my SIL but she's not naturally a critical thinker) are all on board too my Dad actually thought I was taking the piss when I explained it Most importantly I'm making sure my DD understands it, and so far, so good.

Do take time out. I make sure I resurface from the rabbit hole for weeks at a time because I can find it all consuming.

[EmpressLangClegSpartacus]

I've been in this fight for about 5 years now, and we have come a HELL of a long way - honestly!

OK, there's still a lot to do, but if it had gone the way the TRAs wanted the GRA reforms and gender indoctrination would have carried on quietly with nobody noticing.

But they haven't. As Datun would say, we've given them the one thing they really, really didn't want. Sunlight.

It's a David & Goliath situation - on one side, us. A bunch of grassroots feminist groups, crowdfunding and volunteering their spare time to defend women & girls. On the other side, Stonewall, Mermaids et al, an influential, heavily funded, misogynist & homophobic juggernaut that's done an excellent job of convincing people that if they have doubts about them they must be bigots.

We have a lot of work to do still but I think we also have a lot to be proud of.

[EmpressLangClegSpartacus]

Do take time out. I make sure I resurface from the rabbit hole for weeks at a time because I can find it all consuming.

Yes, for fuck's sake pace yourself! And be careful.

I'm openly GC under my own name more or less everywhere now except on here, but I didn't do that until I had a decent feminist network to back me up and felt confident enough in my arguments. Admittedly my name is very common & almost impossible to find when searching, which I see as a positive.

[WendyHoused]

@PhilomenaRumple, I feel for you. It took me 9 months to get DP onside and I've lost several friends over this. My son thinks I'm a monster.

The trouble is - unless you really delve into it - trans rights looks nice and supportive and kind. Why wouldn't you support "the most oppressed" in society where they are at risk of "literal violence"?

But then you look.

And then you see it's not about supporting gender non-conforming people. It's not about helping people feel comfortable in their skin.

It's about allowing late-transisioning males to co-opt and claim access to female-only spaces. It's making strangers complicit in validating a self-perception. It's about telling young women (often lesbian, often autistic, often abused) that the way out of objectification and sexual predation is to adopt a male identity. It's about pedling a narrative that you can be born in the wrong body.

[PhilomenaRumple]

@Howzaboutye fantastic!! Sadly I’m well-versed in fem theory and considered myself radfem since I could conceive of it. Getting married (to a wonderful man) and hitting 40 has made me apathetic and lazy. I still can’t believe Greer has been shut up. How could I have abandoned her?

You are brilliant. Thank you for looking out for us

[PhilomenaRumple]

@ScrimpshawTheSecond thank you so much for your thoughts and thank you for looking out for all of us. You are fantastic

[PhilomenaRumple]

@LookAtTheCahhOlivahhhhh they’re almost a parody of themselves. And they’re definitely not pink!

[PhilomenaRumple]

@Lovelydovey @EmpressLangClegSpartacus @asdawankers @WendyHoused

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I just want you to know that I’ve read and appreciate your comments. Thank you

[Divoc2020]

This was me too not so long ago, OP. It is truly terrifying and I had to be careful what I read in the evening, or else I would go to bed and be unable to sleep for thinking about it all.

I now have a GC twitter account and dip in and out of it to lend support to different causes/ report abuse and generally keep myself informed.

Sometimes it is overwhelming though - it's like little (or big!) fires springing up all around you, and just as you start to hose one down another one starts up somewhere else.

I have been feeling down today after I heard claims that groups like Mermaids are autogenerating '000s of responses to bombard Boris and Liz Truss with about the GRA. I worry that our grass roots collection of feminist groups simply won't have the ££ and the power to fight it all.

My professional background (before kids) was related to politics, campaigning and communications and sometimes I feel like I just want to turn up at the Baroness' door and say "tell me what I can do to contribute towards this ... and I will do it (for free)"

[PhilomenaRumple]

@Divoc2020 surely those they’re bombarding can see through this?

I’ve been fantasising about ‘the grown ups’ stepping in and just shutting this absurdity down.

[PhilomenaRumple]

@Divoc2020 I love the baroness. Such a voice of reasonable calm

[Time40]

Can anyone give me some perspective on how they feel about this long-term and what will ultimately happen? I’m frightened

Here's something cheering and positive for you, OP. I found out about this issue through MN, and since then I've been reading widely. I am also deeply concerned, and I hit peak trans about a year ago. I've talked to a lot of people about this issue in real life, and I have never - never once - met anyone who doesn't agree with me. I simply don't know any woke, TWAW people. I feel completely comfortable voicing my GC views to anyone who will listen. There are vast swathes of our society - my guess is, the majority - who are still sensible, and who wouldn't buy into this dangerous ideology for a moment. I believe that when the message gets fully out, good sense will prevail. The important thing is to keep talking, and keep on getting the message out, because there are still so very, very many people who know nothing about this issue.

[RunningWild12]

I felt so isolated when I discovered this all a few years ago. I remember sitting in my flat with the lights off and thinking, if this is what the world believes I need to go and live in a cave. I never believed in it, never had a peak trans moment. I felt really alone. But I spoke to my (Male)partner who got it. Took time, because he understood second wave feminism and couldn’t get his head round that people were saying gender identity was a real thing and sex didn’t matter. Broached with my closest friend and was sooo relieved when she was on side. It’s hard. But I also made contact with another woman who I’d known years before and who agreed. We organised a meeting of others.
I’ve met loads of other women, online and in real life and have attended meetings. And sometimes you need to take time out and that’s fine. I’m a bird watcher. I need to take time out and go and do my thing. The goose analogy is excellent.
We all do what what we can when we can depending on our resources at the time. This stuff is hard and does have an effect on us emotionally and for our mental health. Losing friends is bloody hard. You will get through this and find others, but take your time. We win this by digging in for the long haul and taking care of ourselves and others when they need it. We all need time out.
We’ve all felt the fear. But you are not alone. Change is gonna come, not overnight, but you’ve made contact here and you will find others in real life. I keep my activism separate from my work, I have a couple of good friends I can check in with regularly to do my ranting and have a laugh.

[PhilomenaRumple]

@Time40 yes. It’s our responsibility now isn’t it? Thank you for replying

[Cuntysnark]

It’s quite a ride. I’m a secret campaigner, meeting attendee, women’s group member. I haven’t been this politically active for about 25 years. I’m mostly frustrated this week but I’m not giving up and welcome you with open arms.