Teaching teen boys about misogyny

[BrexitWife]

This is across over between feminism/misogyny and parenting.
Two teens boys (13 and 15yo).
I’ve tried my best to teach them about equality between men and women, show them how men/boy and women/girls could be treated differently etc...
But I’ve clearly failed as

• Dc1 has been nicely mansplaining me and refusing to trust what I’m telling him t(and asking for confirmation from his dad who had much less knowledge than me on said subject )
  
• If I’m telling dc2 that he is doing xxx wrong, I’m basically told off, he never said xxx (as an adult could be constructed as gaslighting).
  

Bar the basic lack of respect towards me as a parent, I’m also very concerned that this attitude will just carry on towards women in general as they grow up (because they would not dare saying anything like this or behaving that way towards H).

So, do you have any ressources that coud help me explain misogyny to them as well as the ‘big’ behaviours that are actually disrespectful towards women?

Cor full disclosure, I’m fighting an uphill battle as their behaviour is often H behaviour and school is atrocious on that score (keeps treating boys and girls in a different way, you have girls stuff -eg films- and boys stuff etc etc). Which means very little good role models around :(

[chaoticgood]

I am female. When I was a teenager, I gaslighted (lit?) my poor mother to distraction.

[AngryAttackKittens]

All teenagers are little shits to one extent or another, so they'd be challenging you and being smug about knowing everything anyway, but I agree with others that the real issue here is your husband modeling disrespectful behavior towards you.

[Wrathofjurgenklop]

I am also female, did the same thing to my mother.
My poor mum, I feel bad about it now.
Your husband is likely to lock horns with your son at some point.
It will surprise your husband, it won't surprise you.

[BrexitWife]

We are nowhere near the point here he is going to lock horns with him.
But he has started to make comments about ‘dad being flaky’ and comparing him to one of his friends at school (that wasn’t a compliment. Dc1 had been moaning about said friend for weeks!)

There is a clear expectation of ‘do as I say’ from H that might well stop them expressing what they really think.
Plus dc1 hates conflict.
What might well happen is that they will have less and less contact with him when they will have left home though.

But thanks for reminding me that teenagers are also well... teenagers. And therefore are likely to want their way, impose their POV etc...

[BrexitWife]

Tbh I really dint care if it’s seen as uncool and old.
RESPECT isn’t ucool and a lot of what feminism is about is respect.
Respect for the other person a worthy human being rather than a second class citizen.
It could be about gender, race or anything else.

[AuntyElle]

But if your husband doesn’t respect you - and continually shows you and your boys that - that has to be a defining influence. Your teaching them about feminism is trumped by this reality.