Resting Bitch Face

[Disappointednomore]

I'd be interested to hear from other women their opinions on this delightful phrase which appears to be everywhere at the moment. It appears to mean "women who aren't smiling" from what I gather, and there is no corresponding phrase referring to "men who aren't smiling".

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

carmenta - men don't get "called out" for having RBF, but they do get called miserable bastards.

The same expressions exist in both men and women. Women are said to have RBF, men are said to be miserable bastards. The OP asked what the male equivalent to RBF is - I say it's "miserable bastard".

[LetitiaCropleysCookbook]

Objectively, there is no denying that some people, when their faces are in repose, and not animated in conversation or interaction, exude 'pleasant disposition' and others do not!

I think I am one of the latter, (I put it down to an indelible frown line just above my nose!) and have always felt that people I don't know, often can't 'read' that I'm actually quite amenable! That's what I've always understood by 'resting bitch face' - not really anything to do with not constantly smiling.

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

I agree Letitia. Having been saddled with RBS and having spent most of my teens and twenties being horribly self-conscious and consciously trying to look perky all the time, it was such a relief when I decided years ago that it's not me, it's them.

[ShotgunNotDoingThePans]

And in answer to theOP: if it's being used in a derogatory way then those users have misunderstood the original meaning, I think.
As someone said, it was originally used as a way of satirizing the expectation on women to be constantly smiley and fluffy - although I agree the term bitch is unfortunate and enables the irony to be too easily lost in some quarters!

[LetitiaCropleysCookbook]

Me too, Shotgun. I've definitely become more reconciled to my RBF as I've got older!

[cbigs]

I think it's a great expression , and describes the look perfectly. Don't care if it's not used on men really, I might say face like a bag of spanners maybe but wouldn't use that for a woman ....

[TheDowagerCuntess]

I always think of Kate Middleton when I see this phrase.

If you look at photos of her at public events these days, she is always smiling and looking so happy to be there.

Her face is never 'at rest'.

She's clearly been coached to never let her face fall into repose, precisely because her natural resting face falls into a slight frown, making her look unhappy, disapproving, bored, whatever.

I mean this is normal - it's how most of is look when we're going about our business, not really concentrating.

I've really started to notice it.

She always looks smiley, camera-ready, happy to be there.

It must take SUCH an effort!

[TheDowagerCuntess]

In this photo, William's defaulted to RBF, but she hasn't!

[BertrandRussell]

I have never heard it used about a man. But hey, if it was, once, somewhere, that means it isn't perjorative about women, doesn't it it? Phew.

I don't think that's a resting bitch face William's got, by the way. I think it's a resting guinea pig face.

[EmmaMacGill]

I think RBF can apply to both sexes, my DH has a fantastic RBF and also has the ability to look really deep in thought and intense at times when he's actually completely away with the fairies, not a thing on his mind at all. There should be a name for that!

[Terrifiedandregretful]

I've always seen it more as a defense against 'smile luv' type comments, than a perjorative term. I've only ever heard women use it about themselves e.g. 'Men telling me to smile can fuck off; I've got resting bitch face'. I've never heard a man use it in any context.

[BertrandRussell]

Bitch is just not a word used to describe men.

[DioneTheDiabolist]

I remember the Bitchy Resting Face video. It was brilliant. And IIRC featured both women and men. The word "bitch" as both noun and verb is increasingly unisex.

I regard BRF as a unisex thing that is different to thug as thug implies physically violent.

[cbigs]

I call my dp a little bitch all the time

[tribpot]

Amy Schumer talked about the need to appear to be smiling all the time in public on Ellen a while back. She was at the basketball and was sitting beside Deanna Agron from Glee and she kept a permanent smile on her face, constantly poised because she knew people would be taking photos of her at any time. I'd imagine Kate Middleton does it for the same reason. I personally could not be arsed, and neither could Amy Schumer, who got hammered at the basketball and basically didn't give a toss.

Do men get called out for looking like a miserable bastard, or actually being a miserable bastard? The point of the expression about resting bitch face is that it's about how your face looks (normal, is how I would describe it) as opposed to what you are.

[Madamfrog]

I find this very interesting because it shows the cultural assumptions made specifically with regard to women in UK/US culture; in my culture ( French) it is normal to look serious in repose, you aren't expected to go around with a smile on your face for no reason (it is seen as inane and false) or when dealing with strangers, because smiles are for interaction with a person you engage with or actually know well, so we don't get remarks from twats on the street like the ones I have seen reported in UK. That doesn't at all mean France isn't sexist, it's just differently sexist. I like that I can have my normal face in repose ( fairly 'grumpy' looking) and nobody thinks it is odd.
It also explains why visiting UK/US people often say things like "French women are snooty/ grumpy/ mean-looking" when actually we are just like anybody else, it is just our conventions of how to present ourselves to others are different.
It also explains a bit why anglo-saxon women sometimes get disportionately bothered in the street here in France because that smiling at randoms on the street actively signifies "come on boys I'm looking to pick up someone".

[garlicandsapphire]

My teen DD says its used about boys as much as girls. I don't mind myself. I have one. And I'm an Elizabeth Warren 'nasty woman'.

[SmilingGivesYouWrinkles]

This is the only time I've seen/heard it.

[Fireside90]

I have more like 'resting nice face'. I wish I looked more unapproachable more often honestly. It's a pain. I'd rather I'm thought of as looking a bitch and be left alone or not give the wrong impression or the time. It causes so many problems honestly...I guess I need to perfect a 'resting bitch face' to make my life more bearable.