Bright pink lipstick and vaginas

[FruitCider]

I've got some internal conflict and not sure why, thought I would discuss it here and see what you all make of it?

I work in a challenging male environment, with men that have not had much female contact for a long time. My team is mostly made up of women, all of whom (apart from me) wear dresses instead of trousers and have heavily applied make up.

One in particular wears bright pink lip stick, because "it reminds men of vaginas". She reapplies it frequently in front of the men and carries it around in her pocket.

Part of me agrees that women should be able to dress how they want, when they want. But part of me is also confused about the women choosing to wear dresses and wearing heavy make up, particularly that lipstick with that intent.

It's really starting to bother me as I wear my hair short and put bare minimum make up on. I certainly don't want to make myself look even slightly sexual with this group of people that I work with.

I guess I just wanted to verbalise my feelings and get a feminist perspective on scenario/my feelings? Im feeling very conflicted!

[FruitCider]

Ladamanera I'm not completely sure where my feelings come from. I think it's a bit of both, which makes me feel awful. I don't want to be judgemental but at the same time I can't help it/but it does concern me as well.

[HairyLittlePoet]

Imagine if one of the men took the heavy make up/dresses the wrong way and attacked one of the team?

the men are vulnerable and may get the wrong impression about the team.

Are you aware you are posting in the feminism section of Mumsnet?

(And not in 1953?)

[IBelieveTheEarthIsFlat]

Anti women trolling. Trying to fire up the fems against themselves. V crudely.

1/10 - Must try better

[Maudlinmaud]

So if I dare venture out tomorrow wearing my most vibrant pink lipstick and come across my vulnerable neighbour will I be "asking for it" if he attacks or assaults me?
Genuine question im not being snarky.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

Imagine if one of the men took the heavy make up/dresses the wrong way
I find it concerning that in an 'imaginary future attack' your sympathy and empathy are with the aggressor. If I was your colleague, I would be very concerned about your views and your professionalism.

[Maudlinmaud]

Surely if these men are to be integrated back into society, they have to know how to behave appropriately. Seeing women wearing makeup is a normal everyday occurrence.

[Pestilence13610]

The men do take it the wrong way, they imagine the lipstick is being put on for them. They develop fantasy relationships with the women. They voice their fantasy, woman get suspended for a year whilst investigation happens. Seen it happen several times, only to people (including men) who flaunt the rules a little too much.
Women working in male prisons have a great deal of power and a certain degree of risk. Rules are in place to stop the power being abused and to minimise the risk. The dress code is not punitive and similar to many other places of work.
Maud is your neighbour a rapist or murderer who has not had physical contact with a woman for 15 years? Genuine question I'm not being snarky.

[Bitofacow]

Last line doesn't make sense - please ignore

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

I wear bright pink lipstick sometimes. And pale pink. And red. I work with men, in a male environment.

If one of them attacked me, it would be entirely their fault. Completely. There would be no part of me that asked for it because I decided to wear lipstick.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Actually, IBelieve has a point. I wish I hadn't commented.

Pestilence Sorry, I didn't get the type of environment OP was talking about for a moment. It makes more sense there but given who OP is, I suspect this isn't serious.

[VestalVirgin]

That woman sounds bonkers, and yeah, I would be worried about her safety, too - not because of her make-up, but because of her attitude. She seems to mistake men's tendency to drool over her for admiration, affection, or even a kind of power she thinks she has over them - and that will lead to her getting close to men who might want to harm her.
But you can't help her. Unless she clearly states that she wants to seduce the inmates of whatever place you work at, being a stupid patriarchy-pleaser isn't illegal. And she won't listen.

Being supportive of transpeople does not mean I'm anti women in any form.

Oh, but it does. Either you don't support male's entitlement to female spaces - and then the transactivists will label you a terf and transphobic - or you do support their entitlement to female spaces, thus throwing women under the bus, in which case you are anti women. It's as easy as that.

I mean, you can consider yourself supportive of trans people all you want, but if you don't throw women under the bus, you will soon lose the status of trans ally among transactivists.

[Maudlinmaud]

Pestilence I dont believe he is.
Thank you I understand the importance of the dress code in this environment now. Sorry for offence.

[southeastastra]

but women's vaginas aren't bright pink are they

i would look for a better job

[Comejointhemurder]

I was going to respond with my experiences of a very few but noticeable women working in forensic mental health but then saw who the OP is so think there's an agenda here.

[MorrisZapp]

There's a woman at your work who wants her mouth to look like a vagina?

What a truly odd thread.

[NaturalRBF]

I used to also work in the same environment & I once had a male counterpart get shitty with me for have a lip balm. It had a scent & covered up the vile smell on a particular wing. But if she's celebrating her vagina on her face is she really asking these chaps to jump her? I don't think so. Like saying if you're dressed in a short skirt etc you're asking to be sexually assaulted. Also like you said- you're very new to this environment. You'll see everything worthy of a SIR initially. Watch some experienced staff & learn the ropes that way. Especially if you're an outside agency. You won't be trained the same way as establishment staff.

[WinchesterWoman]

This is a bit judgmental. What's the matter with you? Wind your neck in.

[NoMudNoLotus]

Please do not put a SIR in re this.

In the field of male mental health including forensic I have never heard such a crock of shit as this.

[WinchesterWoman]

I can't believe someone would report someone else for wearing lipstick. That's the action of an unhappy person who pretty much hates people.

[NoMudNoLotus]

And Winchester probably somebody who shouldn't be doing that job....

[NaturalRBF]

There is a theorem that women paint their lips red/pink to attract a male. Apparently it mimics the look of blood rushing to the vagina in preparation for sex/conceiving

[NoMudNoLotus]

I think we know that natural

[NaturalRBF]

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20942361

[AnyFucker]

What is this thread actually about ?