Bright pink lipstick and vaginas

[FruitCider]

I've got some internal conflict and not sure why, thought I would discuss it here and see what you all make of it?

I work in a challenging male environment, with men that have not had much female contact for a long time. My team is mostly made up of women, all of whom (apart from me) wear dresses instead of trousers and have heavily applied make up.

One in particular wears bright pink lip stick, because "it reminds men of vaginas". She reapplies it frequently in front of the men and carries it around in her pocket.

Part of me agrees that women should be able to dress how they want, when they want. But part of me is also confused about the women choosing to wear dresses and wearing heavy make up, particularly that lipstick with that intent.

It's really starting to bother me as I wear my hair short and put bare minimum make up on. I certainly don't want to make myself look even slightly sexual with this group of people that I work with.

I guess I just wanted to verbalise my feelings and get a feminist perspective on scenario/my feelings? Im feeling very conflicted!

[Bitofacow]

Fruit when you work in a place that has different norms and rules it is hard not to 'go local'. When you talk to real people it can be hard to explain. You make a comment that makes sense in your world but is wildly offensive out of it.
It is however useful to hear what 'normal' people think.
Hope it works out for you.

[FruitCider]

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now and have decided to do nothing yet. Because I'm not convinced that I'm not being a judgy pants. However I'll think about SIR if I see any clearly inappropriate behaviour. I guess some of my feelings come from being a lot less feminine than my colleagues and feeling pressure to conform, which I don't like. But some of them also come from concern for my/my colleagues safety. Of course if we were attacked, it would be the perpetrators fault, I don't dispute this. But this is not a normal working environment by any means. Therefore I think the boundaries are very different.

Thanks everyone (even to the negative commenters) for helping me see both sides to the argument!

[KittensDoNotLikeFluffyBlankets]

Does she curl back her painted lips to reveal her teeth? She might give the client group a vagina dentata complex too, you should deffo complain to HR.

Or maybe suggest she switch to Frog Prince lipstick. The freeness of the stick will lessen the similarity to a swollen, pulsating engorged vagina

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

being a stupid patriarchy-pleaser isn't illegal

That comment is just as bad as the judgemental comments from the OP.

Perhaps you and the OP could provide guidance on what you and she approve as not being patriarchy pleasing or slutty.

[Xenophile]

I wasn't Morris, but now...

[MorrisZapp]

Anyone else singing Black Holes and Revelations?

[AnyFucker]

Mystifying

[Maudlinmaud]

Mouths looking like fanjos. In a nutshell anyfucker

[NaturalRBF]

Apologies Nomud

[AnyFucker]

What is this thread actually about ?

[NaturalRBF]

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20942361

[NoMudNoLotus]

I think we know that natural

[NaturalRBF]

There is a theorem that women paint their lips red/pink to attract a male. Apparently it mimics the look of blood rushing to the vagina in preparation for sex/conceiving

[NoMudNoLotus]

And Winchester probably somebody who shouldn't be doing that job....

[WinchesterWoman]

I can't believe someone would report someone else for wearing lipstick. That's the action of an unhappy person who pretty much hates people.

[NoMudNoLotus]

Please do not put a SIR in re this.

In the field of male mental health including forensic I have never heard such a crock of shit as this.

[WinchesterWoman]

This is a bit judgmental. What's the matter with you? Wind your neck in.

[NaturalRBF]

I used to also work in the same environment & I once had a male counterpart get shitty with me for have a lip balm. It had a scent & covered up the vile smell on a particular wing. But if she's celebrating her vagina on her face is she really asking these chaps to jump her? I don't think so. Like saying if you're dressed in a short skirt etc you're asking to be sexually assaulted. Also like you said- you're very new to this environment. You'll see everything worthy of a SIR initially. Watch some experienced staff & learn the ropes that way. Especially if you're an outside agency. You won't be trained the same way as establishment staff.

[MorrisZapp]

There's a woman at your work who wants her mouth to look like a vagina?

What a truly odd thread.

[Comejointhemurder]

I was going to respond with my experiences of a very few but noticeable women working in forensic mental health but then saw who the OP is so think there's an agenda here.

[southeastastra]

but women's vaginas aren't bright pink are they

i would look for a better job

[Maudlinmaud]

Pestilence I dont believe he is.
Thank you I understand the importance of the dress code in this environment now. Sorry for offence.

[VestalVirgin]

That woman sounds bonkers, and yeah, I would be worried about her safety, too - not because of her make-up, but because of her attitude. She seems to mistake men's tendency to drool over her for admiration, affection, or even a kind of power she thinks she has over them - and that will lead to her getting close to men who might want to harm her.
But you can't help her. Unless she clearly states that she wants to seduce the inmates of whatever place you work at, being a stupid patriarchy-pleaser isn't illegal. And she won't listen.

Being supportive of transpeople does not mean I'm anti women in any form.

Oh, but it does. Either you don't support male's entitlement to female spaces - and then the transactivists will label you a terf and transphobic - or you do support their entitlement to female spaces, thus throwing women under the bus, in which case you are anti women. It's as easy as that.

I mean, you can consider yourself supportive of trans people all you want, but if you don't throw women under the bus, you will soon lose the status of trans ally among transactivists.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Actually, IBelieve has a point. I wish I hadn't commented.

Pestilence Sorry, I didn't get the type of environment OP was talking about for a moment. It makes more sense there but given who OP is, I suspect this isn't serious.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

I wear bright pink lipstick sometimes. And pale pink. And red. I work with men, in a male environment.

If one of them attacked me, it would be entirely their fault. Completely. There would be no part of me that asked for it because I decided to wear lipstick.