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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

dd (8) has been invited to a birthday party.....

61 replies

northender · 09/01/2013 09:13

"Footballers and WAGs". Dress up as your favourite footballer or put your glam rags on to become a WAG

I'm sure most of the mums at school will say this is just harmless fun. Dd didn't know what a WAG was and she has clearly been so well indoctrinated educated by me that, when I explained, she straight away declared she would be going as a footballer.
With so many great female role models out there people really think its okay to dress 8 year olds up as WAGs??

OP posts:

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SomersetONeil · 11/01/2013 18:51

Yes, a girl going to general fancy dress party as a footballer in amongst the myriad other costumes

...

and possibly the only girl going as a footballer to a 'Footballers and WAGs' party is two quite different things.

I would probably try to avoid the party altogether, as well.

PiccadillyCervix · 11/01/2013 14:21

I'm really surprised at the number of comments from people who think that a girl going as a footballer will stick out - DD's fancy dress party was mostly girls and there was a pirate and a ninja, as well as some gender-less costumes. I don't think any of the adults would have made the comments suggested above.

Well did you and your friends have a "fancy dress party" or did you have a party that celebrates Overpaid, over sexed sports stars and their trophy girlfriends who are only known and only celebrated for who they have sex with?

Because I am very sure none of my the people I associate would blink at a little girl in football kit, but am very sure sure all of my friends would be horrified by a WAG party too. On the other hand someone who thinks a WAG party is a cute idea has very clearly different ideas towards appropriateness and gender politics than I do and NO I would not want them with in 50 miles of my children.

Thisisaeuphemism · 11/01/2013 13:05

Wow! Can I ask what part of the country this is? So i can avoid it-

MrsClown1 · 11/01/2013 11:55

My children are grown up so I guess you know I am older than most of you. My children would have not been going and I would have no problem telling the parents why. I recall when my son was 7 he had a friend who had 'Grand Theft Auto'. I had no problem telling the parents that their son was welcome at my house but my son would not be playing at their house again. To be honest, I didnt really fit in with many of the parents so I didnt really care what they thought of me.

OP - would you mind doing me a favour. Please tell these parents that MrsClown is very sad that they are giving their daughter (if theirs is a daughter) such low aspirations or their son such a low opinion of women. The stupidity of parents shocks me at times.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 10/01/2013 13:41

I don't thing it would feel such a dilemma if the concern were something like this that appears "clear cut." But, unfortunately because crass gender stereotyping and sexualisation of children at a younger and younger age is becoming so much more "normalised," it's hard NOT to think, "oh, am I just making too big a fuss."

When I grow up, I want to be as clear of thinking as KRITIQ.

TigerFeet · 10/01/2013 12:00

northender · 10/01/2013 11:38

TigerFeet that is one option that won't be happening

OP posts:

Timetoask · 10/01/2013 11:27

HOW HORRIFIC!
And I say this is a woman who doesn't mind girls wanting to dress like princesses in pink and boys dressing like pirates. Nature is nature.

But WAGS!!!! never. If I had a DD I would send her as a footballer, or in normal clothing.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter · 10/01/2013 11:22

Is a wag a career now?

TigerFeet · 10/01/2013 11:21

I'd be too OP. In your shoes I'd be having a word with dd about gender stereotyping and sending her to the party in my Blackpool shirt

bahana · 10/01/2013 11:14

That's horrific! Luckily my youngest dd would DEFINITELY go as a footballer and I can think of a couple of others who would too. In fact it would be highly frowned on by most of the parents I know I should think.

snowshapes · 10/01/2013 11:12

Sorry, in my last post, your DD refers to northender's DD.

snowshapes · 10/01/2013 11:11

I also think that your DD will probably speak to her friends about it beforehand anyway, so have some idea of how they are all dressing/if they are going.

I'm really surprised at the number of comments from people who think that a girl going as a footballer will stick out - DD's fancy dress party was mostly girls and there was a pirate and a ninja, as well as some gender-less costumes. I don't think any of the adults would have made the comments suggested above.

Also (my final point) everyone is assuming the mum came up with the WAG idea, maybe it was the dad??

snowshapes · 10/01/2013 11:07

fuckadoodlepoopoo, I agree with you that girls would have to wear certain clothes to be recognisable as a WAG, but my point was that not all footballer's wives are like that. It's a small group who project that image, and it is an image also encouraged by programmes like Footballers Wives. You could be a doctor and married to a footballer.

GrimmaTheNome · 09/01/2013 23:00

Maybe I'll bump into you when I'm going to sainsbos

northender · 09/01/2013 22:57

Interesting comments, I agree with pretty much everything thats been said. Afaik dd is the only girl in her class who has any interest in football so I think its likely that she would be the only girl in a footy kit. I'm not sure how bothered she is about the party so will sound her out tomorrow and then decide what to do.
Well spotted re the team by the way Grimma

OP posts:

GrimmaTheNome · 09/01/2013 22:34

(or given your MN name, maybe that should be PNE not City!)

GrimmaTheNome · 09/01/2013 22:32

I'm not sure that the OPs DD would be teased for going as a footballer (the invitation doesn't say 'boys dress as footballers' - any more than the girl pirates were (I'm assuming no problems there, mine certainly didn't have any).

Just a thought - is there any chance the birthday girl is actually footie mad and desparately wants to wear her team strip and the WAG idea is just all mum could come up with for 'girle' alternative? It might just be worth checking (if you see the mum) - ask is her DD really into football, yours will be wearing her City strip ...see what she says.

PiccadillyCervix · 09/01/2013 22:19

I don't thing it would feel such a dilemma if the concern were something like this that appears "clear cut." But, unfortunately because crass gender stereotyping and sexualisation of children at a younger and younger age is becoming so much more "normalised," it's hard NOT to think, "oh, am I just making too big a fuss."

yes, exactly that

KRITIQ · 09/01/2013 22:14

My worry in having her go along either dressed as a footballer or as herself or as a giraffe for that matter is that she will stick out, quite probably be teased for not conforming - and not just by other children. In fact, it's the adults who are likely to pass comment if she doesn't "follow the rules," and comments like that from adults can really sting, and stay with you. I wouldn't want to expose a child to that possibly probably happening.

One way of looking at it would be - what if she were invited to a party where you knew there would be other things happening there that you felt uneasy about for ethical reasons. For example, what if you knew they were going to have an evangelical Christian prayer meeting and you were an atheist? What if you knew they were only serving burgers with no non-meat alternatives and your family are vegetarian? What if you knew they were going shooting when you have an ethical objection to hunting? Would you necessarily feel that you had to "go along with it," or would you feel it was within your rights to decline the invitation, and discuss with your dd why (in a way that was appropriate for her level of understanding.)

I don't thing it would feel such a dilemma if the concern were something like this that appears "clear cut." But, unfortunately because crass gender stereotyping and sexualisation of children at a younger and younger age is becoming so much more "normalised," it's hard NOT to think, "oh, am I just making too big a fuss."

Stick to your guns and do something that feels right for you and your dd.

TravelinColour · 09/01/2013 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsClown1 · 09/01/2013 20:19

fuckadoodle - I totally agree with you Im not pc either! I cant stand the fact that they are such role models for young women. I cant say anymore than that.

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nannyof3 · 09/01/2013 19:38

Let her go as a footballer... There are ladies teams, a England ladies team and ladies football is huge in America

catgirl1976 · 09/01/2013 19:28

That really is grim :(

GrimmaTheNome · 09/01/2013 19:27

This is wrong on so many levels... 'glam rags' at 8 is bad enough let alone the whole mere appendage and sleb culture rubbish.

DD went to one 'pirate&princess' party...as a pirate princess. If she'd had to opt for one or the other it'd probably have been pirate.

Does your DD have likeminded friends (or do you know any of the other girl's mothers well enough to ask...I should think there will be some others fairly aghast at WAG) - maybe they could field at least a 5-a-side team.

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