The Moon Inside You - has changed my view of feminism...think I had it all wrong!

[FlamingoBingo]

Has anyone else seen this amazing documentary about menstruation, in which a man clearly says that the suppression of women has been possible by doing whatever possible to hide from them the power of menstruation, and their incredible potential for connection with nature.

It follows that celebrating our very womanness, and encouraging all other women to do the same, to reawaken ourselves to the power of being a woman...I'm not expressing myself very well here...I used to think that the pill was an amazing invention, and helped women immensely, but I can see now it's actually done a lot of harm.

They interviewed the inventor of the contraceptive implant - OMG what a misogynist prick! And the ignorance surrounding periods!

And today I went along to a devotional chanting session, aimed at honouring the feminine divine - many spiritual leaders (e.g. the Dalai Lama) are saying things along the lines that we need to focus on reconnecting with the feminine because we've been 'ruled' by the masculine for too long and the imbalance is what's damaging the whole world so badly.

I'd be really interested to hear other feminists' thoughts on all of this...

[habbibu]

Oh, ok, manatee. I guess I've just never felt my pm feelings were mad or invalid, just irritable and unfocused. But that's my reaction to my own hormone cocktail - no more or less valid than anyone else's.

[Nyac]

I said I had clearer feelings, I didn't say I felt clear. In my case the feelings were rage and despair. You're saying you're feeling fuzzy, I'm interpreting the fuzziness to be a feeling, but I could be incorrect.

The rest of the month those feelings weren't so strong or clear. They were very strong during PMT, almost overwhelmig.

[WidowWadman]

Nyac I've no doubt that there are women on both sides of the argument. Doesn't mean that only one side can be right.

Overmedicaling birth against the woman's will is wrong and patronising. But that doesn't mean that those who plant terror and fear of medical help into women's minds is any less bad and patronising and coercive.

[FlamingoBingo]

Habbibu - could be your body trying to get you to slow down for a bit...? It's not natural to function so highly for long periods of time. Naturally we would all, men and women, have cycles of rest, quiet time, stillness, and of activity and busyness. When we try to be active all the time, out bodies often protest, sometimes by making us Ill. But women have a natural time each month to slow down and be still...I wonder if you'd find yourself more productive the rest of the month if you paid attention to the signs your body is sending you and scheduled in a day or two of rest on those days? Fuzziness is genrlly a sign that you're closer to your subconcsiousness than to your conscious mind. You may get a lot of clarity by going with the flow, as it were, rather than fighting it and trying to carry on as normal?

[WidowWadman]

Flamingo "But women have a natural time each month to slow down and be still...I wonder if you'd find yourself more productive the rest of the month if you paid attention to the signs your body is sending you and scheduled in a day or two of rest on those days"

How do you combine those scheduled rest days with a career? Not trying to wind you up, but a serious question. This argument sounds to me like an attempt at biological justification why women shouldn't be able to compete in the work place with their male peers.

[Nyac]

Or it could be an argument that the workplace is completely dysfunctional and isn't designed for human needs but rather profit, and therefore needs an overhaul.

[habbibu]

Ha! If you knew just how slowly I take the pace of my life. The thing is, I accept the fuzziness, I don't fight it. It's just me, and that's fine. What I'm saying is that its no fairer to try to get all women to fit into one mould of femininity than another.

[AliceHurled]

I'm interested on this stuff. I think that there's much more to our cycle than it just being a physical process. But if you wouldn't mind waiting maybe a year or so, when I'm not pregnant, they would be great

[FlamingoBingo]

No, it's an argument that the world, run by men, is not set up to make the most of women - it's set up to work against them. Men have just as many fluctuations in mood and productivity as women do, but women can predict their fluctuations. If workplaces were really wise, they'd recognise that and capitalise on it. Is there a point in you being in work on days your fuzzy and grumpy? Are you actually productive on those days? And by ignoring that, you may even be making yourself less productive and creative opthe rest of the month - everyone loses.

Allow women time to be still and contemplative once a month, and i bet workplaces would get far more out of them. I know that since I've been making myself slow down when I'm bleeding, and telling my family I'm off duty for a couple of days, I am far far more available to them the rest of the time, with no resentment, just joy. I used to get overwhelmed and miserable and very sorry for myself that everyone relied on me so much - now I get that time to 'hibernate' and ruminate it gives me the energy I need to be fully present for everyone else the rest of the time. I'm far more productive and far happier too.

Of course it's not so easy of you work for money, but it's not impossible. Even if you say one of the days at the weekend closest to your period is yours to bath, lie in bed, go for solitary walks, journal, paint etc. it would help a lot. Or even if you just took your work breaks outside alone on the days your bleeding.

[habbibu]

Nyac, can you tell my 2yo he needs an overhaul too!

[FlamingoBingo]

Habbibu - it's not about trying to get us all to fit into one mould of femininity. It's about learning about your own femininity.

Alice - having hated my periods most of my life, I was desperate to be living that cycle again after years of pregnancy and/or breastfeeding. Then, after a few months, I was back to hating them again. No real pain, just pmt and inconvenience. Now I'm trying to honour them, I find myself looking forward to them again, or at least a positive interest in the changes I notice in myself throughout the month.

[AliceHurled]

Flamingo, is there anything similar that does refer to pregnancy?
And good to see you.

[habbibu]

Oh, that's interesting - I feel better and more sociable once bleeding (esp since mooncup!). I just think its still really rather more specific to the individual rather than women in general, iyswim.

[FlamingoBingo]

You too Alice :)

Not sure. Women are much more intone with themselves in pregnancy anyway, and particularly so in the post partum period. Very 'mystical' (naturally, I mean...of course a lot of that is masked by modern living, but if you could tap into that would be helpful?). Have you read anything by Ina May Gaskin? I haven't but I imagine her writing would be along the same lines as alexandra popes only about pregnancy and birth. Will ask around for you though.

[habbibu]

Ach, I've never hated them or loved them. They're just there. Bit of a pita when I was in primary school and had to explain why I couldn't go swimming! But aside from that, no, just part of me, fuzziness and all.

[FlamingoBingo]

Yes, definitely, Habbibu. Wonderi if you said that you would not do toddler groups or whatever, and just snuggled down at home as you would if you or ds were I'll, when it was your period, would help?

[AliceHurled]

Thanks flamingo. Would appreciate it if you would ask. I feel a bit like I'm not engaged with pregnancy in a similar way to resisting periods iyswim.

[WidowWadman]

"Even if you say one of the days at the weekend closest to your period is yours to bath, lie in bed, go for solitary walks, journal, paint etc. it would help a lot. Or even if you just took your work breaks outside alone on the days your bleeding."

Hmm, I take myself of to the bath to have some peace and quiet any time I feel like it, dito going for a walk, journal paint, etc. I dont need a period justification for that, but my husband and I give each other the space to have some time to ourselves, mostly taking turns, as there's not much babysitter on tap. So actually, despite working full time and not having periods, I get probably more me time than you, if you really only stick to the time you bleed.

And on top of that I don't get period pain or the inconvenience of bleeding. Hats full of win, in my book.

I think, you're right, it's important to make time for yourself.

If you use your periods as a reminder to make time for yourself and it works, that's great.

But I don't see the universal need of having a period to do that, nor does it neccessarily help to have one. Personally, I found it annoying to bleed during "me-time". Especially when I wanted to go for a swim or for a run and it was too heavy for me to feel really protected by tampons and I felt bloated and crampy.

[startail]

Oh dear! What have we been smoking or drinking, it's clearly good stuff!

[FlamingoBingo]

You're not using your periods as a reminder, but using the time when you're naturally more inward looking and making the most of that time. And, consequently, making the most of the times in your cycle you're naturally more outward looking and productive.

[habbibu]

Oh, flamingo! If only you knew what a neglected second child ds is! Toddler gp is me chatting and eating biscuits while he is otherwise engaged. I really am very lazy. And happy that way. The two yo thing was mostly a joke, but I guess I just don't feel any pressure to perform, and do stuff for myself as I feel like it.

I am, however, happier when having to think on my feet more, pushed harder - just loved Finals, for example. I guess its about what suits us as individuals.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Never felt positive about periods. They 'urt. Glad to have seen the back of 'em.

[Trills]

Sounds like a load of woo.

I mean that with love, of course. If you like woo and find that periods make you feel empowered and special and in tune with nature then that's lovely for you.

IMO periods aren't evil or dirty, but neither are they magical or special. They're just biology.

[Dworkin]

I was with my daughter the other day at the the doctors and she had to get a prescription. We went to the adjacent chemist. I noticed that there was a display board for all sorts of diseases and then one for women's health. I thought, what is this?

Are we a sub human species?