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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Assault?

13 replies

TheRealMBJ · 05/07/2011 19:24

What would you think if someone told you that during their post-natal check-up the consultant performed a speculum examination without first explaining that he would do so, and when told to stop said 'Don't worry, Love, I'm almost finished' ?

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HRHMJOFMAGICJAMALAND · 05/07/2011 22:31

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TheRealMBJ · 05/07/2011 22:26

Thank you HRH I will pass the information on to her, if I see her again. The thing is that she said she wasn't told nor expected the speculum examination and that she clearly said, 'Stop' when she realised he had inserted it. Sad

Thank you dittany, I know (deep down) that I didn't do anything wrong, but feel like I handled it badly and should have realised that she wasn't yet ready to hear it.

PS I posted this on here btw as I wanted to hear 'real', thoughtful responses, not 'Oh, well, that happens. Best tell her to dry her tears and get on with it. Hope you don't mind that I didn't put it in 'Childbirth'

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HRHMJOFMAGICJAMALAND · 05/07/2011 22:14

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dittany · 05/07/2011 22:13

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HRHMJOFMAGICJAMALAND · 05/07/2011 22:13

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StayFrosty · 05/07/2011 21:32

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TheRealMBJ · 05/07/2011 21:30

Sorry, that was crass.

Thankfully, I didn't. She does have beautiful little boy though Smile. It all started with a conversation about her childbirth experience and the fact that although she wants to complain she doesn't have the emotional strength to at the moment Sad AND then she told us about the post-natal check up. God, I feel awful.

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TheRealMBJ · 05/07/2011 21:17

Fuck no!

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UsingMainlySpoons · 05/07/2011 21:14

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TheRealMBJ · 05/07/2011 20:59

Than you. I was having a bit if a crisis of confidence there. Not sure why, but started to worry that I had 'over-reacted' in my own mind.

I feel absolutely horrible for her, but really, really disappointed with myself as instead of just listening, I responded with 'Shock That's assault' and she burst out crying and left promptly looking very, very distressed. It is still so fresh and after a really traumatic labour too.

Shit! Sad

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StayFrosty · 05/07/2011 20:10

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TheRealMBJ · 05/07/2011 20:06

I think I dealt with it really, really badly SadSad. Want to kick myself.

I don't know her very well, and she isn't a 'friend' as such. She's really, really vulnerable at them moment too. Sad

I'm an idiot!

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UsingMainlySpoons · 05/07/2011 19:47

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