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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Just wanted to say that I love Michelle Obama

63 replies

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 25/05/2011 17:44

Did anyone else see her speaking to those girls in Oxford today? She was speaking out about the importance of girls' education, and she even put in a good word about Hillary Clinton.

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meditrina · 26/05/2011 05:45

The comments about the "Obama baby mama" weren't exactly nice (thanks Fox) either, nor all the 'angry black woman' comments.

OP's original point, about the strength of the messages the current first lady is giving to inner city British schoolgirls this week, seems to have been buried under the commentary about the Secretary of State when she was First Lady.

I had really welcomed what Michelle Obama said. I thought a lot of her points were very important and deserved the airtime. I was glad to see a champion of girls finding their voice, not putting up with second best and deserving places at the top, got coverage on all the main broadcasters.

So it was interesting to see that in the feminist/Women's rights thread, there is a weight of opinion that she isn't admirable because of who she married 20 years ago (before he was even a senator). Her own entire career largely ignored, just because she's taken a break from it. And a thread inviting comment on what she said not really getting much response.

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dittany · 26/05/2011 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 26/05/2011 08:50

Um, but I wasn't talking about Barack Obama, or about Clinton except tangentially (and positively - M.O. said "Hillary Clinton is a fabulous leader. My husband had a formidable opponent in her in the primaries. She is a phenomenal Secretary of State. We have examples of outstanding women like her in leadership all over the world.") - I don't understand why we can't appreciate what Michelle Obama is trying to do without reference to her husband's record. They are different people.

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TrillianAstra · 26/05/2011 09:00

It's a shame that we don't have more woman like Michelle Obama speaking about this kind of thing. There are plenty of women who are just as inspirational as she is in her own right. I guess they are busy doing those jobs, and don't have time to come and talk to schools and say "hey, work hard, don't take any shit, you can achieve a lot".

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TrillianAstra · 26/05/2011 09:01

What I mean is, it is only through her giving up her job (which you would probably do too if your husband was President, it'd be impossible to get on with things normally with the amount of security you'd need around you) that she is free to give talks and being welcomed by the audience.

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BelleCurve · 26/05/2011 10:19

I suppose my sadness about Michelle Obama is that she would probably make a very good president and that being "someone's wife", however well she does that, and whatever good comes of it is not the same.

Maybe she will run next time?

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Treats · 26/05/2011 12:40

I think it's great that MO is using the platform she's been given to speak directly to women and girls about their aspirations and making good choices in their relationships. Regardless of how she came by the platform, these are good and brave messages to be sending out. She could be a lot more timid and uncontroversial - Laura Bush was an advocate for reading and libraries, for example.

RE: HC. I was going to repeat that 'joke' that someone posted above. When she was First Lady, everyone was saying that Bill wouldn't have become President if it wasn't for her. Now that she's Secretary of State, everyone says that she wouldn't have got there if it wasn't for Bill. What more proof do you need that she's a lightning rod for misogyny and not fairly judged for her own considerable achievements.

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Want2bSupermum · 26/05/2011 13:06

dittany Living here in the US it is interesting to hear what Americans say of Mrs Clinton. Basically she should have divorced Bill Clinton after the Monica incident. When she decided to 'stand by her man' she demonstrated that she was not about womens rights at all. Her husband took advantage of a young girl and ruined her future. He knew exactly what he was doing and she stuck around because she wanted a future in politics.

As for Chelsea Clinton..... the least said the better. She got into Oxford because of her parents and hasn't been able to keep a job. The reason she was able to 'help' her mother during the primaries was because she was 'let go' from her job with Avenue.

My neighbour was at Princeton with Michelle Obama and also worked with her after graduating from law school. It was interesting to hear her talk about how focused she was on making something of herself. While Mrs Obama isn't my cup of tea I have a lot of respect for her putting herself out there as a role model. Here in the US there aren't that many black role models. If I was black I would much prefer my child look up to Mr & Mrs Obama than Snoop Dog and Lil'Kim.

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Tolalola · 26/05/2011 13:22

If I was black I would much prefer my child look up to Mr & Mrs Obama than Snoop Dog and Lil'Kim

Shock Hello? Racial stereotype much?

Black people can be role models to white people too, you know. And vice versa.

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Treats · 26/05/2011 14:15

Want2bsupermum - "she demonstrated she was not about women's rights at all" - really? Who knows why she made the decisions she did about her personal relationship? Bill Clinton had a bit of a reputation for women before that - Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, loads more from their Arkansas days - but have we heard about any since? Perhaps that was the deal and he stuck to it. He's been her number 1 supporter throughout her own political career (slightly to her disadvantage in the primaries) so maybe she reckoned she could wink at the adultery if it meant she could still count on him to be there for her.

In any case, how is tolerating adultery setting her against women's rights? If he'd beaten her, and she'd stayed, I might have agreed with you. If he'd belittled and undermined her during her own political career, I might have thought you had a point. But whatever post-Monica deal they struck seems to be working for her, so I can't see how their relationship is anything other than a positive role model for other married couples.

Besides, everyone knows she'd have been just as heavily criticised for 'bailing out' if she had divorced him.

Not going to engage with your bitchiness about Chelsea Clinton.

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dittany · 26/05/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bue · 26/05/2011 14:34

I still harbour fantasies that Hillary might be president in 2016...

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blackcurrants · 26/05/2011 14:42

I do think we have to pay attention to the racial stuff when we look at Michelle Obama's decision to call herself "mom-in-chief" and do her version of the traditional First Lady thing rather than stay in her career or have a policy-field to herself ("Hillarycare" was the way they put it when HRC was a new First Lady, and yes, it was the way the crucified her and it was awful).

Black women, when slaves, had to leave their children with other people to go raise white women's children, or work in their plantations, or clean their houses.
For some black women the right to raise their own kids and be seen putting their children first and being a "GOOD MOTHER" is important in the USA, because there's this hideous racial stereotype that black women aren't good mothers - they're "welfare queens" or "hardass bitches" or "hos" or something like that. So there's this interaction between sexism and racism, and Michelle Obama gets both in the neck. She handles it with aplomb, IMO - I think she's an excellent role model - hardworking, kind, clever, and very savvy politically. I don't think a First Lady should be such a big 'weapon' in a President's arsenal - what about gay Presidents or single ones? Will there never be one? BUT as they are* I think she does it brilliantly.

*I know that SAHM does not equal "good mother" - and arguably the First Lady's role isn't a SAHM one - after all, she's here, isn't she? That's why she asked her Mum to move into the White House.

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noddyholder · 26/05/2011 14:43

I like her but I LOVE hilary

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BalloonSlayer · 26/05/2011 15:04

"Our job as women is to envision ourselves as leaders and be ready to battle."

But she isn't a leader at the moment. She is married to one.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 26/05/2011 15:59

for now, BalloonSlayer

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snowmama · 26/05/2011 16:06

I think she us a fab role model, and whilst her role a president wife gives her a platform, actually alot of her role model attributes are about she achieved before that and that for me is the inspirational message.

I also think Hilary Clinton is a fab role model for different reasons....it is not mutuallly exclusive..

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cloudydays · 26/05/2011 16:11

Associate Commissioner of Planning and Development for the City of Chicago.

Executive Director of a non-profit agency offering leadership training for inner-city youth.

Associate Dean of Student Affairs at University of Chicago.

Executive Director of Community Relations at University of Chicago Hospitals.

Member of the Boards of Directors of 6 Chicago-area community, health and education organisations.

"She isn't a leader... She is married to one." WTF?? You don't think the person with this (very, very abbreviated) C.V. is qualified to serve as an example to young women who envision themselves as leaders?

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suburbophobe · 26/05/2011 17:44

She and Barack are absolutely inspirational!

You can argue till the cows come home about who should've gotten in this time or last, but I think the right people won for the right time for the world right now.....

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BalloonSlayer · 26/05/2011 17:47

Yes it's a very impressive CV, and she is a good role model of course . . . but but but but . . . the only reason she is there to talk to the girls - rather than someone else - is because of who she is married to.

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southofthethames · 26/05/2011 18:02

I think both Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama are good role models - I don't agree with posts that say Michelle Obama is only important/prominent because of who she is married to. She achieved her law degree and career before Barack did - she was HIS professional mentor when he began work! And for many years she held down a demanding legal career while he ...wrote books and wasn't very far along in his political career. Laura Bush (Mrs Dubya) had a postgrad degree too (in library work) but she was never asked to give inspirational talks to any students. Michelle Obama was only invited to talk to students because she happens to be have a successful law career who did well at school and college, as well as the workplace, despite not being born with any privileges. To suggest that she was asked to give talks to students because she is wife of a president is a bit like saying that Zara Phillips is a famous equestrian only because she is the daughter of the Princess Royal.

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Maxinemills · 26/05/2011 18:30

What does she actually do?

As a mixed race woman, I don't know what she's done & why so many people think she's an inspiration.

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Straight2Extremes · 26/05/2011 18:48

Look at cloudy's post Mazinemills

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missinglalaland · 26/05/2011 18:53

I admire her too. She is a fantastic role model. Intelligent, well educated, hard working and caring. The focus on her outfits doesn't bug me too much. I think it is good for people to see that a strong, tall, mature woman can look fantastic. It's just a tiny weight against all the sized-zero models that our daughter are bombarded with.

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cloudydays · 26/05/2011 19:03

Maxinemills, she graduated from Princeton and Harvard, worked as a successful lawyer for several years at a prestigious Chicago firm (where, as a previous poster noted, she mentored her future husband), and went on to fulfil the leadership positions I outlined in my previous post, all of which were centred on using her considerable talents for the good of her fellow citizens.

As the partner of a presidential candidate and as First Lady, she may not have an elected role, but she has demonstrated exceptional diplomatic skills and is a brilliant ambassador for her country, as evidenced by responses to her like those we've seen in Ireland and Britain on this trip.

She also comes across as warm, grounded, and a fantastic mother, which either means that she's a pretty fantastic person or she's incredibly media savvy and skilled at projecting a positive image.

Part of what makes all this "inspirational" is that she grew up black, female, and from a working-poor family in a deprived area of inner city Chicago. Any one of those things would have put her at a disadvantage for academic or career success, yet she has accomplished a great deal and done so with grace and no trace of arrogance or bitterness.

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