If you used to be thin but aren’t any more...

[MoonBabysMagicalKalimba]

There’s usually threads on here along the vein of “if you are slim, tell me all your secrets/what you eat in a day/how you think about food” etc and they are always really interesting. Usually started by an OP who has spent years, perhaps their entire life, struggling with their weight.

It got me to thinking about others like me, who were always effortlessly thin as young adults but then that changed. Why did it change? How did it change?

I was a size 8 up until my mid 20s, when I slowly started putting on weight. Up until the age of 25, when I got weighed at the doctors I was always told “you don’t want to lose any weight”. I’m now 35, 2-3 stone overweight and a size 14-16.

I’ve spent years writing it off by saying “well I’m older now, my metabolism has slowed down, I’ve had a baby” etc but I have been lying to myself. When I honesty look back at my thin days, a few things stick out:

• if I ate a massive dinner, I wouldn’t eat much the next day. Not deliberately, I just wasn’t hungry and I’d listen to my body. I’ve stopped listening to my body and will eat just because “it’s breakfast time” even if I’m not hungry.
  

• I would eat loads of takeaways, but I’d either buy small portions (my Chinese order at uni was just a portion of egg fried rice and some sweet and sour sauce) or I’d only eat a small amount and then have the rest as leftovers. A medium dominoes pizza would only have half eaten and the rest in the fridge. Same with curries. Now, I’ll eat the lot.
  

• I never really thought about what I ate. If I wasn’t hungry, I wouldn’t eat and I’d stop when I was full. I now just eat for the sake of it and clear my plate even if I’m not hungry.
  

On an emotional level, I went through a huge life upheaval in my mid 20s which I think led to me turning to food for comfort in a way I never had before. As a teen and in my early 20s, when I had a breakup or other upsetting experience, I’d lose half a stone as I couldn’t eat. A switch flipped at this age, and I started turning to food for comfort in a way I never had before.

I’m interested to know if anyone else was thin in their younger years but are now overweight, what happened? Can you pinpoint how, when and why it changed?

Let this also be a warning to those of you who are thin now, to not make the mistakes I did!

[Redjumper1]

I was always slim until around 23 and then lost weight again and was slim for a while. I'm now a size 12 but just about!. I would love to go back to how I was but with a thyroid disorder, mid-forties age and a sedentary job I'm struggling to stay at size 12, never mind going back to an 8.

I used to exercise alot more and eat a lot less because I had more time to exercise and more time to cook healthy meals. I have DC and wft and it is just go, go, go. My DM and DS never put on weight though even with DC/Work etc so it is probably just an excuse.

[Coldsorehelp1234]

Fell pregnant at 19, ate massive amounts the whole pregnancy. Put on 4/5 stone during pregnancy & kept 2 3 stone of it, then fell pregnant 18 months later and can’t shake that baby weight either. Moral of the story I ate like a pig in pregnancy

[butterflyze]

I put on a load of weight (3 and a half stone) when I was pregnant and never lost it again. Then hit premature menopause. I don't think I eat any more now than I ever did, so it could be slowing metabolism and being less active, but I'm just staying the same weight now and not putting any more on.

[junebirthdaygirl]

Got married at 27 and was 8st at the time. Played loads of sport and was always on the go. Lived in City and walked everywhere. Very lazy about cooking so never big dinners.
Got married, cooked every day. Dh loved more food later and l joined in. Lived out the country so drove everywhere. Pregnancy/ new babies meant giving up sport though l did lose baby weight breastfeeding but l could drop a half stone in a week if l cut back. Now 60 and in the last 10 years have gained a lot of weight..never shifts so easily. I am 12 stone!! Even getting Covid l dropped 2 pounds in spite of no appetite for days and no sneaking snacks as isolated in room. Am going to gym and feel strong but have gained half my body weight. My dh is still the same weight he was on our wedding day!!!

[VeryLongBeeeeep]

I was a size 8 until my late 20s and then the weight gradually crept on and on until I ended up a size 16, staring down the barrel of size 18 in my mid-forties, a good 2.5 - 3 stone overweight. I was thin when younger but I ate crap, and I don't know if my metabolism just slowed down so I wasn't effortlessly burning off the crap any more, and I didn't have those healthy eating habits established because I'd never needed them. Like a PP that also coincided with getting married, with my DH taking over most of the cooking for a while and giving me the same size portions as he gave himself, and more often than not I'd just eat it all regardless of the point I got full.

About 4-5 years ago I started trying to eat more healthily, cut out some carbs (so salad or soup with no bread instead of a sandwich for lunch) and walking a bit more, and I managed to shift about 1.5 stone but then I plateaued and spent the next couple of years yo-yo-ing, never quite putting it all back on but more than I'd like, and never quite getting down to my 'realistic' (as opposed to idealistic) target weight.

Earlier this year, after a pre-diabetes scare, I made an effort to cut right down on processed sugar, and started doing more active exercise. Since then I've lost around another stone or so, which took me past my 'realistic' target weight and within a pound or two of my 'idealistic' one. I'm probably around a 10-12 on top now and a 12-14 on the hips/thighs. But it takes virtually no 'slippage' to put weight back on; I relaxed a little bit a couple of weeks ago while on holiday from work...had the odd ice cream, the odd plate of chips and put 3.5lbs back on. I think I'll always struggle to an extent, partly as I head into the menopause and partly because I didn't have those early good habits in place.

[Franklyfrost]

I learnt to comfort eat- just eating to zone out. And eat more in general- we all sit for dinner and if that didn’t happen I don’t think I’d be eating much in the evening. I’m expanding, wider and wider, into a big barrel shape.

[Seainasive]

I was super slim until I got a job with more money and a company car. Until then I cycled everywhere and had no snacks or soft drinks, little meat and very little alcohol.

[JoborPlay]

At 27 I started to gain weight and I'm now 3stone over weight.

I was much more naturally active. My job was active, my social life was active. I also never ate breakfast and rarely had a big lunch. I'd eat cereal for dinner when I couldn't be bothered to cook, now I have takeaway. I was also diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, but that's just an excuse really.

[TerenceRiverTrentDarbyDogmuck]

Naturally thin up to 30. Started piling on after that. Reasons : comfort eating, especially chocolate and cakes.! Not doing any exercise and as I got bigger the less I wanted to do. Have now started slimming world so watch this space……

[CovoidOfAllHumanity]

Hamtonn my DH is exactly like yours

He always has to have a meal when it's 'time' and is puzzled if I suggest I just am not hungry
He always has snack breaks with biscuits morning and afternoon. He thinks if he eats a cereal bar that makes it OK but in reality he just doesn't need it
He always has dessert after every evening meal
He buys tonnes of snacks and crap and thinks this is essential to have in the house and sulks if I don't buy any.

In general I was able to resist going along with him because I was out at work all day and very active there but since wfh in lockdown I have been more influenced by him and put on some weight which I am now trying to lose before it gets any worse.

I downloaded MyFitnessPal and was fairly easily able to see where I am going wrong so today when he appeared with biscuits with a cup of tea I just didn't eat them and found it was fairly easy not to. It's just so easy not to think about tiny things like that which all add up.

I think he is a lost cause as he has no interest in losing weight if it means any kind of diet. He does work out regularly which prevents things getting too out of control. I am a bit worried that DC have picked up his habits though. They also view snacks and dessert as essential to life and this was not the way I was brought up at all.

[cleckheatonwanderer]

I definitely eat more calories than I need in a day. When I was younger I was much more active, regular exercise etc so when I noticed I was getting heavier I would eat slightly less and it came off pretty easily.

Nowadays I'm working from home which means I hardly move at all, and since I'm ECV I don't really want to rejoin the gym now it's opened again.

I remember being at an event with some work colleagues years ago and one of the ladies there was a model. We all got offered cupcakes and she took one but cut it in half (it was already relatively small, not those huge dobbing ones). It really stood out to me at the time as I would have happily scoffed mine and probably 1 or 2 more without even thinking about it.

[TheTurn0fTheScrew]

I comfort eat - I used to have an unhealthy relationship with booze. Since having DC I've transferred some of that to food, which is a bit better I guess but still not great.

For some of the time when I was slim I was also poor, and snacking/takeways were luxuries I couldn't afford. I also used to walk everywhere, and now have a car. Oh, and the joys of the menopause.

[GreenWhiteViolet]

I'm overweight now, having put on a couple of stone over the past two years. I should lose some weight for health reasons but in terms of appearance it's more complicated. I'm a comfortable size 14 now. I tend to lose weight in certain areas much more quickly than others, so I go through a stage of being ill-proportioned and feeling that certain parts of my body look much too large - which I don't feel when I'm larger all over!

For me, carbs and inactivity pile the weight on. I used to calorie count and go to the gym four times a week to maintain my weight, as well as walking a lot. Then March 2020 lockdown happened, that all went to shit, and I never really recovered and got back into an exercise routine. In the first few months I comfort-ate to excess.

[HerRoyalRisesAgain]

I was effortlessly slim my entire life.

Then I got pregnant with my youngest. I gained 7st in that pregnancy and more since. During the pregnancy I xouldnt walk and the only thing that stopped me from feeling sick was eating. Then my partner became abusive, so after the baby was born I continued to emotionally eat.

I'm now over 19st and have binge eating disorder. I know what I need to do to lose weight but it's become such a habit that it's hard to break

[MsRedhook]

I was very slim until my late 20s. I ate a lot but walked everywhere and rarely snacked. By 27, I had a stressful job and began drinking a glass or two of wine most nights and quickly gained 10lbs. I then had children but remained a healthy weight. PND saw me hit the bottle again and I would eat a packet of biscuits most nights as I was so tired abd didn't care anymore. I am now almost 4 stone over the weight I once declared I would never exceed. I'm working in losing it. I miss feeling good about my body.

[Roussette]

I'm in my 60s. I've been a size 10 and I've been a size 20. I thought I was really fat when I was young and a size 12/14 and did every type of dieting known (WW, SW, JennyCraig and some crackpot diets). If only I'd realised I looked OK!

Lockdown... everyone had new hobbies. Mine was breadmaking. And eating it. And the weight piled on.

15 years ago I lost 5 stone and swore I would never go back there again... but look what happened... I did.

However, I've been trying really hard with 16/8 and MyFitnessPal since beginning April and lost 2.5 stone and my god do I feel better for it. I have just under a stone to go.
I've taken up walking and it's really helped, just got back from a trip with my adult DCs walking the Peak District and I managed 28 miles in 3 days!

It can be done when you're older like me, but I am a bit neurotic about it because there is still a vastly overweight person inside trying to get out again... and I'm so afraid I'm going to slip back again.

[WorryMcGee]

I was a U.K. 6-8 in my teens and early 20s - thought I had a fat tummy so was on and off stupid diets and would often not eat before going out drinking in order to save money 🤦🏼‍♀️. Met now DH when I was 24 and put on a little bit - became an 8-10, so I got even more upset about my perceived “fat tummy” and got obsessed with exercise and counting macros for a couple of years…which took me down to a 6-8 again but with visible abs this time, basically had a breakdown because of it and almost lost my relationship. Had CBT and went on meds which took me up to a size 12. Then I came off meds and lost half a stone so was back down to a 10 again, sometimes 12 on bottom half as I’m an apple shape, and now I’m pregnant so god knows what’s next 😂 I’m 36. Before I got pregnant my weight was stable pretty much the whole time I was off meds, and I think this is the weight and shape I’m “supposed” to be.

I truly believe my weight gain is partly down to the restriction and yo-yo dieting I’ve put my body through over the years, and a stone of it was the anxiety medication (I know they say SSRIs don’t cause weight gain but I’m sure mine did). I have always been very active and I really enjoy exercise. I do have a sweet tooth but I don’t go crazy, and I don’t eat tons of junk. I just realise now that every time I’ve got very thin by dieting, I’ve ended up at a higher weight after when I return to “normal”. Perhaps I destroyed my set point weight, I’m not sure.

[Pheasantlysurprised]

There are some odd myths floating around concerning body weight. I can only give a small example of how my own body has fared, but I do think that in general, no two bodies are alike - and that includes after pregnancy, middle age, etc.

I have somehow remained very slim for most of my life. Possibly genetic, but im very active in terms of walking and have never eaten much processed or sugary food. Thankfully I wasnt keen on it, so I guess that is sheer luck.

However, my weight has remained stable for decades until lockdown. I did nibble more and drank more booze, and didnt walk much at all. I was very surprised to see this happening as I was so used to being small.
My first response to this was to knock it back until the pounds came off (I had only gained 6lbs) and thought that would be easy.

Well, it did not work. I cut calories, carbs, moved more, banished the cheese, spent long periods not drinking alcohol. But nothing.

Around March this year when I'd pretty much stopped bothering and just decided to get on with being a few lbs heavier, it fell off again. All of it. Almost behind my back, with no effort or change on my part. Perhaps an accumulation of restoring my older habits? I don't know. But I am back where I was in the beginning.

What does irritate me on MN is that whenever a woman over 40 tries to discuss weight, everyone simply shouts that it is impossible to stay slim after 40 without practically starving and doing 4 strenuous, vomit inducing workouts per day. Unless you are mainlining hydrogenated veg oils and processed shite, I strongly disagree with this line of thinking.

I think shutting people over 40 down from discussing weight loss/gain is harmful and ignorant. I do NOT believe that all over-40 weight gain is PERIMENO!!!!, nor do I think it is inevitable. I know barely any middle aged women who need to graft to remain a healthy weight, unless they were already very overweight to begin with. There are many, many reasons why women of my age lose or gain weight, and to pass all of it off to hormones is unhelpful.

I started a thread last year about not being able to shift my lockdown gains, and got 5 pages of people telling me that it wasn't lockdown, it was my age & meno, that I would have to cut back massive amounts of calories now that I was over 45 because MIDDLE AGE.
This was obviously not correct, as my weight returned to normal as I resumed my pre-lockdown lifestyle. And on we go. Funny that.

I may naturally thicken later in life, I may not. But I wont presume an ever increasing gain is simply meno (unless there is an underlying condition) or middle age. Most older women I know either gain or lose or remain stable, as they did, oddly, in youth. Whilst I do believe that the metabolism alters, I don't think it does so to such an extent that we would completely lose control of our weight.

Whilst some women struggle in their 40's, it is quite unreasonable to presume ALL woman do, and to blame everything on something we 'cant change' is really, really dangerous.

[TerenceRiverTrentDarbyDogmuck]

@Pheasantlysurprised

There are some odd myths floating around concerning body weight. I can only give a small example of how my own body has fared, but I do think that in general, no two bodies are alike - and that includes after pregnancy, middle age, etc.

I have somehow remained very slim for most of my life. Possibly genetic, but im very active in terms of walking and have never eaten much processed or sugary food. Thankfully I wasnt keen on it, so I guess that is sheer luck.

However, my weight has remained stable for decades until lockdown. I did nibble more and drank more booze, and didnt walk much at all. I was very surprised to see this happening as I was so used to being small.
My first response to this was to knock it back until the pounds came off (I had only gained 6lbs) and thought that would be easy.

Well, it did not work. I cut calories, carbs, moved more, banished the cheese, spent long periods not drinking alcohol. But nothing.

Around March this year when I'd pretty much stopped bothering and just decided to get on with being a few lbs heavier, it fell off again. All of it. Almost behind my back, with no effort or change on my part. Perhaps an accumulation of restoring my older habits? I don't know. But I am back where I was in the beginning.

What does irritate me on MN is that whenever a woman over 40 tries to discuss weight, everyone simply shouts that it is impossible to stay slim after 40 without practically starving and doing 4 strenuous, vomit inducing workouts per day. Unless you are mainlining hydrogenated veg oils and processed shite, I strongly disagree with this line of thinking.

I think shutting people over 40 down from discussing weight loss/gain is harmful and ignorant. I do NOT believe that all over-40 weight gain is PERIMENO!!!!, nor do I think it is inevitable. I know barely any middle aged women who need to graft to remain a healthy weight, unless they were already very overweight to begin with. There are many, many reasons why women of my age lose or gain weight, and to pass all of it off to hormones is unhelpful.

I started a thread last year about not being able to shift my lockdown gains, and got 5 pages of people telling me that it wasn't lockdown, it was my age & meno, that I would have to cut back massive amounts of calories now that I was over 45 because MIDDLE AGE.
This was obviously not correct, as my weight returned to normal as I resumed my pre-lockdown lifestyle. And on we go. Funny that.

I may naturally thicken later in life, I may not. But I wont presume an ever increasing gain is simply meno (unless there is an underlying condition) or middle age. Most older women I know either gain or lose or remain stable, as they did, oddly, in youth. Whilst I do believe that the metabolism alters, I don't think it does so to such an extent that we would completely lose control of our weight.

Whilst some women struggle in their 40's, it is quite unreasonable to presume ALL woman do, and to blame everything on something we 'cant change' is really, really dangerous.

Love this post! Very positive and gives hope (rather than doom and gloom) to us approaching this age. Thank you

[Suzi888]

I wa as size 8 until my mid thirties, then went to a size ten after conceiving and kept on growing . I think your metabolism just slows down and your muscle turns to fat as you age.
I eat the same now (possibly less than when I was size 8 as I hit the gym to put weight on.)
I detested being skinny, I loved being a size ten and even a 12 was ok, but I’ve put on a lot around my middle which is unhealthy and looks awful! I think at times, I look pregnant! My arms and legs are pretty thin, so big butt and tum.
It depends where you carry weight and I carry it in all the bad places.

[Dobermansdinner]

For the last nine years I have been hanging out with post-menopausal women who have lost weight and kept it off. I have heard that PM women have slower loses than from when they were younger but that if they stuck with it they did lose the weight after menopause. My experience was about the same pre-during-post menopausal. I never had large losses when I lost weight.

It is still CICO.

Edit: Lost 80 pounds when I was 59/60 and have kept it off for eight years.

[stripeymonster]

I was effortlessly slim as a teenager and early twenties but since living with my other half who did lots of sport but also ate really unhealthily started to have an impact on my weight. I stress ate cake and chocolate after work and found myself eating the same size portions of carb heavy food. When I lived alone I was vegetarian and despite eating too much chocolate kept my weight low. However I get easily swayed by what others are eating so when I moved in with him my diet changed too. He had grown up living off ready meals and freezer food and couldn't / wouldn't cook. Also he wouldn't appreciate healthier home made food and laziness on my behalf led to me joining him in takeaways for an easy life.

During my pregnancies I ate too much, but the first two times, eventually lost the weight with slimming world. But the third time I never got back to my ideal weight . Too busy, too tired - all the usual excuses! But actually my worst weight gain has been recently now all my children are at school too much time on my hands and just less motivation. I enjoy low carb, and followed the Fast 800 diet. But whilst seeing good losses can seemingly never stick to it and even suspect it has made my binging on sugary food worse. I got a new job partly to keep me busy and stop me eating so much which has helped a little but now I'm really tired after work and have less time to make healthy food.

Overall I'm the heaviest I've ever been but the least motivated to sort it out. Despite worrying for my health and hating the way I look. Having injured my foot running I find even walking painful now. But I do miss the positive effect fresh air had on my mental health. So need to get back to the physio to sort my foot out.

Interesting to read others stories. Very conscious that I need to set a better example to my children!

[Pea22ches]

Interesting thread OP I'm glad you have posted. I have never been skinny other than when I'm stressed or I have gone on a diet.

I would say I'm steady away I'm a size 10/12 and no bigger than this and I'm 30. Whilst pregnant I was smaller than I am now.

There's so many factors and the trouble is they can go either way. So your example of when you was a uni student and you said you ate smaller portions was that because you didn't have money for fancy restaurants and maybe you were more active than now? That was the case for me and my best friend around 10 years ago she used to be tiny and now has put a lot of weight on.

I agree with motherhood is a big factor your routine can change massively so if you don't manage to loose your initial baby weight I can see how it can just easily pile on.

[Pea22ches]

@Pheasantlysurprised if you have had kids by 40 and you are still small and lockdown was the only time you gained weight a small amount a that. You obviously just have good genes then. Not everyone fills out.

[BastilleBastille]

I was a size 6 from when I was 18 right through I was 27. I suffered for years from an eating disorder and staying thin was an obsession.

I’m 28 now and I’ve just had a baby and it’s literally all change from there. When I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and a very difficult and traumatic birth. Consequently I’m suffering really badly from birth trauma and PND. My obsession in food has now shifted and I am consumed by anxiety in a different way due to the difficult birth. I’m finding it practically impossible to lose the baby weight which makes me feel even worse.

I’m now a size 12 which I know isn’t huge but it’s a massive change from what I was. I feel unrecognisable from who I was before.