If you used to be thin but aren’t any more...

[MoonBabysMagicalKalimba]

There’s usually threads on here along the vein of “if you are slim, tell me all your secrets/what you eat in a day/how you think about food” etc and they are always really interesting. Usually started by an OP who has spent years, perhaps their entire life, struggling with their weight.

It got me to thinking about others like me, who were always effortlessly thin as young adults but then that changed. Why did it change? How did it change?

I was a size 8 up until my mid 20s, when I slowly started putting on weight. Up until the age of 25, when I got weighed at the doctors I was always told “you don’t want to lose any weight”. I’m now 35, 2-3 stone overweight and a size 14-16.

I’ve spent years writing it off by saying “well I’m older now, my metabolism has slowed down, I’ve had a baby” etc but I have been lying to myself. When I honesty look back at my thin days, a few things stick out:

• if I ate a massive dinner, I wouldn’t eat much the next day. Not deliberately, I just wasn’t hungry and I’d listen to my body. I’ve stopped listening to my body and will eat just because “it’s breakfast time” even if I’m not hungry.
  

• I would eat loads of takeaways, but I’d either buy small portions (my Chinese order at uni was just a portion of egg fried rice and some sweet and sour sauce) or I’d only eat a small amount and then have the rest as leftovers. A medium dominoes pizza would only have half eaten and the rest in the fridge. Same with curries. Now, I’ll eat the lot.
  

• I never really thought about what I ate. If I wasn’t hungry, I wouldn’t eat and I’d stop when I was full. I now just eat for the sake of it and clear my plate even if I’m not hungry.
  

On an emotional level, I went through a huge life upheaval in my mid 20s which I think led to me turning to food for comfort in a way I never had before. As a teen and in my early 20s, when I had a breakup or other upsetting experience, I’d lose half a stone as I couldn’t eat. A switch flipped at this age, and I started turning to food for comfort in a way I never had before.

I’m interested to know if anyone else was thin in their younger years but are now overweight, what happened? Can you pinpoint how, when and why it changed?

Let this also be a warning to those of you who are thin now, to not make the mistakes I did!

[Bisforbert]

I was thinking about this the other day when I was having a clear out. I found a pair of trousers, I could not do the waist up around my thigh 😮I could not believe how tiny I was. I am 5 11 and when I left school I weighed 7 stone and was a size 6, I now age 52 weigh 15 stone and I am a size 18/20 doubled my body weight FFS. My parents based their life on The Good Life and up to leaving home I basically ate everything home grown and cycled everywhere, I got a Saturday job in the nearest bit town which was 20 miles away and I cycled there and back for instance. Then I left home, learnt to drive and discovered delicious shop bought food, I still had very active jobs though but about 15 years ago that changed and I got fatter, then did less because it was harder then got fatter and so on.😐 So to sum.up I got greedy and lazy .

[pastabest]

For me (size 8-10 age 16-25, now size 12-14 mid 30s) I've always enjoyed good food and seen food as a treat and a reward.

Up until age 25 I was a student, bottom of the ladder at work etc so didn't have a huge amount of money and nice food and wine remained a treat. I had to use public transport or walk everywhere. I had several casual jobs that were all very physical work (busy nightclub, unloading lorries at a warehouse, stacking shelves in a supermarket). If I wasn't working I was partying, burning lots of calories dancing the night away. I had active hobbies. If I was tired the next day I slept in or had a nap later if it was a weekend.

Now I earn enough money to eat and drink well, run a car and I mostly sit at a desk. My life is young children/family and work. Nice food and nice wine are my only small adult pleasures, there's no time for active hobbies and I'm too tired even if there was. I get through the tiredness of small children with coffee and sugary food. I drink wine at night to relax and undo the coffee etc.

Life is more sedentary and I can afford more calories. Children have made my hips wider, my tummy wobblier and my breasts more matronly.

I'm happy in my own skin though and that is what matters.

[MoonBabysMagicalKalimba]

I actually blame dieting for making me gain weight some of it. I gained a small amount of weight (in hindsight) due to lack of mobility. Then i tried to lose it and ended up fatter that before. I did this twice. Im now a size 14.

Oh god, this! I remember when I was about 24/25 putting on half a stone and going up to the HUGE weight of 9.5 stone (I’m just under 5’7” so I was still well within healthy range) and ordering diet pills online that made me nearly shit myself. It was a slippery slope from there and the more I dieted, the fatter I got. I was so, so stupid.

[Frozenfrogs86]

Family meals are the problem here too. I usually ate once a day in my 20s. I'm not huge now, size 10-12 but I feel more hungry, more eating for entertainment and at home all the time, so surrounded by food. I was a workaholic in my 20s are so common for me to skip breakfast, lunch and eat dinner at 9pm.

[MoonBabysMagicalKalimba]

• I feel like everyone else learned how to eat properly and exercise but somehow I didn’t.
  It’s like being so skinny when I was young lulled me into a false sense of security and I never thought I would need to worry about my weight.*
  
  I agree with this. I still find it hard to really believe I’m overweight as I was always “the skinny one”. It’s like I have the opposite of body dysmorphia.
  
  On the other hand, my mum was a chubby child and young teen but grew out of it as she grew into adulthood. But she has had the mindset that she is fat her entire life. She’s always been slim, no bigger than a 12, as long as I’ve been alive. Yet in her mind, she is still the chubby girl.

[Frankbutchersfangs]

I'm resurrecting this thread because this is me, and I'm just wondering whether anyone else has managed to get back to their skinny body from their early life? I'm currently a size 14 but I'm not very tall (5 feet) and I feel very lethargic and unhealthy. Whereas when I was young I had bounds of energy.

[Hamtonn]

I moved in with a fat partner who has fat eating habits. I started eating like him and it made me fat.

-Alcohol on week nights
-Cup of tea and a biscuit between meals
-Three meals every day regardless of whether I’m hungry
-Something sweet after every meal, even if only a biscuit
-A proper cooked meal every evening
-Portions that are too big
-Soft drinks with meals instead of water
-Snacks in the house, crisps and treats

Previously I would eat breakfast and skip lunch if I wasn’t hungry. Or eat breakfast and lunch but skip dinner. At least half of the time I would have a sandwich for dinner instead of a cooked meal. I never ate between meals and never bought biscuits or crisps or soft drinks. I only drank alcohol on Fridays and Saturdays. Now I find that DH whinges if it’s “meal time” and a meal isn’t forthcoming. And he expects a cooked dinner every night which does my head in. Like even if we’ve had a late lunch or a cake in a cafe, 7pm rolls around and he still wants a cooked meal. He’s passing on these bad habits to our DC too, so I’ve had to put my foot down.

[Frankbutchersfangs]

@Hamtonn

I moved in with a fat partner who has fat eating habits. I started eating like him and it made me fat.

-Alcohol on week nights
-Cup of tea and a biscuit between meals
-Three meals every day regardless of whether I’m hungry
-Something sweet after every meal, even if only a biscuit
-A proper cooked meal every evening
-Portions that are too big
-Soft drinks with meals instead of water
-Snacks in the house, crisps and treats

Previously I would eat breakfast and skip lunch if I wasn’t hungry. Or eat breakfast and lunch but skip dinner. At least half of the time I would have a sandwich for dinner instead of a cooked meal. I never ate between meals and never bought biscuits or crisps or soft drinks. I only drank alcohol on Fridays and Saturdays. Now I find that DH whinges if it’s “meal time” and a meal isn’t forthcoming. And he expects a cooked dinner every night which does my head in. Like even if we’ve had a late lunch or a cake in a cafe, 7pm rolls around and he still wants a cooked meal. He’s passing on these bad habits to our DC too, so I’ve had to put my foot down.

I can relate to your situation, Hamtonn. My partner likes to eat lots, even when not hungry, and generally takes offence if we don't partake with him - he will give a 'look' at us as if to say "what's wrong with you?", so I end up eating in sympathy i suppose lol.

[thelegohooverer]

This thread has been an interesting read. I’m mid 40s and starting to struggle with weight gain. When my dc were babies the struggle was keeping my weight up enough to breast feed.

For me the big change has been a sharp reduction in exercise. The primary school was up a hill so I was walking (usually fast because we’re late) up that twice a day. Now the eldest is in secondary and I drive him, and the youngest walks by herself.

I’m not good at making time to exercise- I need to find a way to work it into daily life.

In terms of food I can afford more treats than when I was younger and broke but that’s been true for the last ten years at least and the weight has only crept up recently.

[Berkeys]

I ate way worse then, much healthier and smaller portion sizes, tons of carbs! Drank a LOT. I danced more, walked more but mainly I think my metabolism was faster and I could burn most things off. Then mid 20s I worked in an office all the time, metabolism slowed and thyroid started going wrong. Weight gain ensued no matter how much I dieted, exercised etc. Wholefood gf vegan alcohol free diet so not eating all the pies.

[EatSleepRantRepeat]

What caused mine was getting married. I used to just eat infrequently when I was hungry, and burned a lot of energy moshing and clubbing 2-3 nights a week. I also had a bar job which was hard physical work, hundreds of squats a night to get glasses from under the counter and lugging beer barrels.

Now I have to cook and eat with DH even if I'm not hungry, and he wants something home cooked and more substantial than buttered spaghetti or smash & gravy! I'm stuck at home most of the time either working or doing chores so not burning off the calories from cooking pastes, oils, coconut milk etc. Living on ready meals would probably be healthier for me than the rich food he prefers.

[lilmishap]

I'm 41 was a 6 until last year when I was put on Sertraline and I'm now a 10 I have a belly and my thigh gap is getting smaller.

What's strange is when thin I used to pig out and now I eat little and often and have gone right off crisps (my biggest vice) but I still seem to be getting bigger.

I still don't eat breakfast and I have 2 boisterous boys to run after.

It seems my body has just gone meh fuck it about using the fat.

[TrueGrit54]

Frankbutchersfangs no or at least not yet. I haven’t given up though and am currently trying to lose weight (2 meals a day, lowish carb, all meals home cooked, lots of veg).

5ft 5” age 54 currently weigh 10st 12lbs. I was 11st 7lbs in January.

5ft 6” (I’ve shrunk!) age 20 - 40 weighed 7st 7 lbs - 8st 7lbs. I thought 8st 7lbs was heavy. Age 40 - 50 weighed 9st. I am small boned and all the weight goes on my bust and stomach.

I would love to hear an inspiring story from another woman in her 50s who has lost weight and got slim again.

[Frankbutchersfangs]

I'm trying the intermittent fasting but I'm just so goddamn hungry all the time!

[TrueGrit54]

Your appetite will adjust Op. I’ve just come back from a 5 day holiday, ate a cooked breakfast, small lunch and 3 course dinner every day. At home I skip breakfast, have a small lunch (2 scrambled eggs or salad leaves, tomatoes and feta), big dinner but just one course (v big portion though). It will take me a couple of days to get back into it but it’s just habit. Apparently protein is what keeps us full.

[HarebrightCedarmoon]

I think you make valid points OP, but just generally with me I know I used to be able to eat more and get away with it in my 20s. I only eat a fraction of what I used to aged 46 and can easily gain weight. Metabolism and hormones account for a lot.

[HarebrightCedarmoon]

Especially carbs. I used to live on them.

[TaraR2020]

I used to walk everywhere!

[Frankbutchersfangs]

@TaraR2020

I used to walk everywhere!

Yeah me too, without any effort. But now I have to force myself to do activities

[Frankbutchersfangs]

@HarebrightCedarmoon

I think you make valid points OP, but just generally with me I know I used to be able to eat more and get away with it in my 20s. I only eat a fraction of what I used to aged 46 and can easily gain weight. Metabolism and hormones account for a lot.

I hear what you are saying HBC, but my appetite is at its highest in the morning to the point where I feel ill if I don't eat. I could more easily not eat my dinner more than breakfast but would still need a very light snack, rather than nothing at all.

[Frankbutchersfangs]

sorry replied to the wrong thread there, was meant to be a reply to TrueGrit54

[Plantstrees]

I made it into my 40s before putting on weight. It was a hysterectomy that did it for me. I think it completely changed my metabolism. I went from 6 stone to 9 stone in just a few years.

On the plus side, I now enjoy food much more than I did before!

[TrueGrit54]

Sounds like intermittent fasting isn’t for you Op, I could switch to one meal probably but it would mean seconds or even thirds. Different plans suit different people. My oldest friend can’t sleep if she goes low carb and feels faint if she skips a meal. She is slimmer than me but runs on a treadmill most days and avoids dairy. Make sure you have lots of protein to satisfy your hunger.

[Bathshebahardy]

I was around 7st 7lb until mid 40s. I was always both active and stressed. I did eat quite a lot but never put weight.
I had a major life style change and, together with approaching menopause, put on loads of weight. Since then I have twice got back to 8 stone from 10stone 7lb and to 9 stone from 12st 7lb. The latter weight was due to 2 stone weight gain from giving up smoking.
I am currently 9 stone and careful what I eat.

[TheWholeWorld]

The big thing is takeaway food. I didn't have the budget for it until I met my husband. When I was with my ex we'd have a curry once a month, the set meal from the place round the corner. The portions were big so the meal for one would feed both of us.

Now with my DH we eat takeaway 2/3 times a week.