Self sabotage

[Mrsboathook]

I have been overweight my whole adult life, was slim (skinny even!) till about age 14 when I developed horrendous eating habits and definite binging tendencies which I still have. After comments about my weight from my dm, I went on my first diet (weight watchers) aged 16. Am now 33 with 2 dc of my own, dd is 2.10 and I don't want her following in my footsteps. At my heaviest I was 93kg (about 14.5 stone) and I'm 5"6. Post dc 2 I was 83kg and in the last 10 weeks I have got down to 74kg using calorie counting. I'm within 7kg of my goal weight. However as with all my previous diets (ww, sw etc) when I reach this weight (within a stone of target) it's like I get cold feet! It's like I deliberately self sabotage and start binging. For example last night I had over 3000 calories!!! Does anyone else have this problem or is it just me? Almost as if I'm scared to achieve my target!!

But today is a new day! Deep breaths and back on the programme.

Throw the scales away, you are putting yourself under pressure by focusing on the "magic" number.
Keep chipping away with your cal counting, when you reach your "goal" weight you will still need to count calls or the weight won't stay off!
Get that slimming club mentality out of your head, you talk about goals and targets, i believe this is why it won't work for you.
You want to be a healthy weight for your height, you want to be strong and feel good because of the nutritious food you eat, you want to look good too, you can't achieve this long term if you don't change the way you look at it long term.

While I agree with popcorn's advice, I'd be really interested if anyone had any insights as to why we self-sabotage. I definitely do it too, and Mrsboathook and I can't be the only ones!

Logically, shouldn't it get easier once the end is in sight?

This really struck a chord with me. I have been wondering this for years. I have never been really overweight but the older I get, the harder the pounds are to shift.

I seem to be in a cycle of eating quite healthily, doing regular exercise getting a few pounds off and then for no reason, overeat to excess for a few weeks. Nothing traumatic has happened to trigger this. I think now my eating habits are more hormonal/peri-menopause related but this been a cycle with me for 25+ years.

However, one night of overeating doesn't need to be the start of a 2 week binge. Recognise it, put it behind you and get back on track.

OP I am like that just much more overweight.

I came up to a personal solution to diet every other day. I have only just began but it works well. I am on diet on day A (let's say 1000kcal a day) and normal eating on day B. The trick is in the normal eating day. It should be around 2000kcal for me. I sometimes end up higher, but I take it as educating myself how to eat, because I will have to eat normally once I lose all the weight!

I already noticed that it is much harder to stay within 2000kcal limit than within 1000kcal. My mind allows more, I eat more, I eat bits of crap food, my hunger comes back etc etc. But I am working towards that, and for me there is always tomorrow (either for dieting or for eating normally).
I have a feeling this will work for me better than long-term calorie deprivation.

I've signed up for my fitness pal. It seems to want me to stick to 1200 cals a day even though I am nearly 14 stone. That seems very low. I used to belong to a club called Welsh Slim and that allowed 1250 for 5 days a week and 1450 for 2 days a week. I didn't stick with that long term as there was no online backup back then. With myfitnesspal there's a lot more cal counting info than there used to be. I'm going to use the app to do the same cals as Welsh Slim allowed and see what happens....

Have you ever addressed why you overeat/binge? Without fixing that, the diet is just like turning up the tap to fill a leaky bucket. You get it full to the top - ta dah! - then turn off the tap and next thing you know, you're back to square one.

Fix your bucket first. If you're punishing yourself, get to the bottom of why you would do that, and get help to think differently. If you're drowning your emotions, learn to deal with them instead. If you eat mindlessly, find a course on mindfulness. If you're depressed, see your doctor and get it treated.

After that, you probably have to diet anyway, but you'll be better equipped to stick it out all the way to goal AND after that to maintain your weight.