Is this reasonable

[lorribell]

Planning small wedding (20 guests), therefore venues will only cater for this on a weekday.

Is it reasonable to expect guests to book 2 days off work to attend the wedding, driving two hours to get there.

1. We will pay for there 5 star accommodation for the night plus breakfast.
2. Dinner and free bar until 10pm.
3. 1 years notice for this also

[ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe]

Sounds lovely to me OP. Especially as it's August and kids are allowed. Enjoy!

[mummyhaschangedhername]

Sounds lovely OP. Obviously some may have trouble getting kids out of school, but otherwise I think it sounds really nice.

[SheWoreBlueVelvet]

You know who you are inviting so whether it’s reasonable or not depends on their demographic.

Mine could be seen as unreasonable in lots of ways but we were inviting a fairly well off group of freelancers, teachers and retired friends. If we had been in our 20’s, I’m betting the young families/ first house/ careers may have made a massive difference to the perception of reasonable.

I would say yours sounds fine but with only 20 guests I’d just ask informally first.

[Purpleartichoke]

We did a weeknight wedding. A Monday. In our original plan, only one set of guests would need to travel and they were retired and would have had to travel regardless. Everyone with a job had the option of just coming after work and we wrapped things up early enough they could work the next day. Our original guest list was parents, grandparents, siblings, and a few very close friends.

In the end, many family members balked at not being invited so we extended the guest list to aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of whom had to take off work and travel. We were surprised at how many came. It was still a small wedding, but not quite as small as originally planned.

[bananasandwicheseveryday]

If it's in school holidays, no problem for me at all. If it was term time, it would be a sad decline from me unless you were my child or my sibling. I work in a school and therefore my leave IS the school holidays. Days off during term time have to be taken as unpaid leave and whilst my HT would try to accommodate it, I could not afford two days unpaid. I had to take one day unpaid earlier this year, for a general, And it made a huge difference to my salary for that month.

[Eustasiavye]

Sounds great. Hope I'm one of your 20 guests 😆😆😆😆😆

[TillyTheTiger]

I did exactly this, nobody minded (or if they did, they were polite enough not to say so!). To be fair, due to retirement, part time working etc I think only 7 of our guests actually had to take annual leave. They were all very close family, we wouldn't have considered it for a larger wedding.

[Xyzzzzz]

Nothing wrong with asking. It’s likely if they have children they might have the time off anyway? Plus it’s a years notice so enough time to plan.

Whether I’d go or not depends on how much I liked the person tbh

[BlueMerchant]

Sounds very reasonable to me.

[Pppppppp1234]

Perfectly reasonable, I’d give notice soon though as people might need to start booking leave for next August soon.

[lorribell]

I don't mind the children, it would provide entertainment for our dc anyway. I will make sure they have a great time

[lorribell]

No I haven't booked it yet. I could ask I suppose but would like to avoid that if possible.

[Langrish]

Sounds perfect. You really don’t need to invite people’s children.
Congratulations.

[lorribell]

Yes it's a straight drive may be less than 2 hours if traffic is ok

[Moll45]

Just wondering have you it booked? Why don't you ask the guests would they be able to get the time off. I presume if it's just 20 people ye are asking that they would be all fairly close to ye and if they want to go they will be there.

[TeenTimesTwo]

2hrs is quite nearby for a wedding.
It is close enough that if needed they can leave at 7am and be at work by 9am. (or not stay the night at all).
Or if wedding doesn't start until say 2:30pm they can do a morning's work before turning up.

[FizzBuzzBangWoof]

If you are only inviting 20 guests then assume they are all either close family or dear friends

I wouldn't have a problem with using 2 days annual leave to attend the wedding of a very close friend or relative

[lorribell]

Thank you for the advice I am going to try push the venue to allow a Friday, I mean if they have or free why not

[Ratatatouille]

I'm afraid it is unreasonable to "expect" it. You can ask, nothing wrong with that, but if they don't want to take two days of annual leave and drive for two hours to your wedding then you don't really have grounds to be mad about it. That said, I suppose it depends who the guests are/what reasons they give if they decline. E.g if my brother told me he just didn't want to come I would be pretty heartbroken. If he had an important work commitment then I'd understand because he loves his job and I wouldn't expect him to jeopardise that for my wedding.

There are very, very few people whose wedding I would be happy to take annual leave for. We had to do it for BIL's wedding (we're not close) and it just pissed me off being dictated how to use my very limited holiday allowance. If I could have got out of it without WW3 then I would have.

[BackforGood]

I think the fact that there will only be 20 people is relevant, as it means the people you are inviting are presumably really close to you, which affects the answers.
Yes, i'd be happy to d that for my sister, but less so for someone a bit further away in closeness.
Also depends of course how much leave you get etc etc.

[flowerstar19]

Sounds lovely OP, wish I was one of your 20!

[lorribell]

It's a really beautiful location, it has a swimming pool/spa facilities the guests can use and walking trails. Beside a lovely lake so would be tranquil as a short getaway/wedding. Close to a beach also

[Madasahattersteaparty1749]

If I was invited I would go as it would be a mini break for the children in the summer holidays.

[lorribell]

I'm going to speak to the venue to see if they can do a Friday but they are insistent that it has to be a weekday due to the size

[PurpleDaisies]

I don’t think it’s right to ask anyone to book time off work for a wedding, even if it sounds amazing.