Pimms or a Pint?

[Icklepickle101]

In the early stages of wedding planning and looking at budget in the terms of alcohol. We cannot afford to pay for all drinks for the whole day but do have some money so just trying to work out the best way to spend it.

My idea so far is to have a Pimms or a Pint for each guest on arrival (soft drinks like cordials etc also available) and then bubbles for speeches etc and table wine. My partner also like the idea of adding a 'drink ticket' to everyone's invites which can be exchanged for a free drink of their choice at the bar on the night so the evening guests will also have a drink on us. I have a feeling most people will forget to bring the voucher on the day (but I suppose that would lower our bill and we have made an effort!)

What are your thoughts? Are those sufficient arrival drinks? Does it come across as cheap?

[Lilly948204]

Artandco you are clearly being ridiculous. You don't have to attend any of these weddings and I'm sure most people don't need to spend anywhere near that amount on drinks at most venues.

We had drinks on arrival, wine and fresh orange juice on the tables, fizz for the toasts and a glass of bubbly after the ceremony and it was plenty. We even had wine from the day left over that the evening guests drank and some was left over at the end of the night, so guests chose to spend money buying their own drinks rather than drinking what was available and free.

You clearly feel you are on some moral high ground because you paid for everything for your 22 guests. If I had selected 22 members of my family and friends and left the rest out they would have been more upset than by being asked to pay for a few drinks. No one is forcing you to attend these weddings, infact they probably rather you didn't as I imagine you're sat there with a sour face and a calculator tutting at everything.

[Tinkah]

I'm sorry but most weddings are not two day events and I actually don't believe you that you went somewhere where tea was £4.50 and apple juice £5!

OP it's normal for hosts to provide a welcome drink, wine with the meal and champers for the toast. Anything after that is a bonus. The ticket idea is a bit naff- why not do free bar for the first hour? Or lay out a table of cocktails for the evening that people can help themselves to?

Inviting someone to a wedding doesn't mean you cover all your guests gluttonous needs. Providing food and some drink is more than enough. People don't have to come!

[Magstermay]

I would never expect a free bar but a drink voucher sounds lovely. I'd just put one on each place setting rather than posting them out - as you say people will forget them but still try to get their free drink and it'll get complicated!

[Soon2bC]

We have been having the same dilema, I have never been to a wedding with a free bar my Oh has 2 brothers who are both very comfortable financially who both had free bars and so she is saying we should do it.
When we sat and worked it out (knowing some of our guests are greedy buggers) we decided that to put an amount behind the bar to make it worth it was going to cost as much as the wedding.
we are doing drinks and canapes after the service (bucks fizz, soft drinks or pint), wine on the tables, bubbles to toast and then everyone else pay their own way.

However, i like the idea of putting a drinks voucher in with the favours so each guest can have a drink from the bar on us and we can keep track of the costs.....having a rethink now

[Kel1234]

When we got married we had the reception in the function room of the pub where my husband worked. We provided champagne for everyone for the toasts and had a buffet instead of a sit down meal. We also put money behind the bar, enough to cover about 3 drinks per person I'd say. After that people got their own.
If we'd had more time to save and therefore more money, we would of had a meal and provided a free bar all night. But we were only engaged 3 months, so didn't have long at all, and also had a baby on the way, so people understood that.
Good luck though.

[newbiz]

I've never been to a wedding without a free bar so it wouldn't generally occur to me to even bring money for a bar. It's usually prosecco, a couple of choices of cocktails and beers for the reception, wine on the table which gets replaced as it empties and then an open bar after dinner with most people sticking to wine and beer. It's also quite common for a bottle of whisky to be put on each table.

However, it's most important to do what you're comfortable with and able to afford.

[BackforGood]

I've only ever heard of everything being paid for throughout the day and night on MN. Never in RL, and I must have been to pushing 100 wedding since the first one I went to in the 1970s.

What you have suggested is more than generous.
tbh, I wouldn't bother with the 'first drink' ticket.
What is traditionally done, IME is wine (or soft drink) with the meal and a glass of something for the toast, and then a lot of people will also do a Pimms or sherry or wine or whatever as guests arrive / mingle / between the ceremony and the meal.
I wouldn't expect more than that.

[PurpleDaisies]

£250 was 48 hrs of drinks for 4 people. Tea at £4.50, apple juice £5, sparkling water £4, glass wine £12 etc soon adds up.
That's ten glasses of wine and ablut thirty other drinks in two days. I can't understand how anyone could spend much.

[Artandco]

Candle - I don't have an issue, I'm just saying many do. I have heard friends say for example they had to really cut back on food bill and walk instead of bus to work do to costs of attending siblings wedding. This just really made me realise that weddings should be cover cost wise by those who host.
£250 was 48 hrs of drinks for 4 people. Tea at £4.50, apple juice £5, sparkling water £4, glass wine £12 etc soon adds up.

[PurpleDaisies]

£250 ish on drinks for 2 adults and 2 children ( expensive venue they chose)

I'm sorry, but how do you spend £250 on drinks? Even if the venue was expensive, that's a ridiculous amount of money. Surely if things are tight you just don't drink alcohol?

op your plans sound absolutely fine. The only weddings with free bars I've been to have in marquees in people's own gardens.

[Candlestickchick]

artandco if you had a problem with what it would cost to attend these weddings you should have declined. Accepting a wedding invitation then bitching because you had to pay for travel etc to attend is really poor form. Unless it was £50 per drink you did not need to spend that much on drinks.

[redshoeblueshoe]

Yes Art you had made it clear, I was always lucky enough to have free child care, I'm just amazed its so expensive. I also probably underestimated what I have spent going to weddings, as out of the last 6 I have stayed in a hotel.
I think free drinks for children is a good idea.

[Passmethecrisps]

I think what you are suggesting sounds lovely - on the generous side.

I have been to one wedding with a free 'bar'. The bride and groom bought crates of booze and there were hotel staff handing it out. It was all gone by 9pm. People got terribly greedy.

I think at ours we had tea and coffee while photos were being done and a pay bar if people wanted, lots of wine. Probably worked out at a bottle per person. Glass of fizz for evening guests (yes I know that is another mn no no - perfectly normal in my world) and two barrels of local ale which we paid corkage for. If people wanted something else they paid for it.

On the scale of things yours probably is about the same.

[Natsku]

Never been to a wedding with an open bar, just a glass of bubbly after the ceremony and some wine at dinner which is fair enough. Your idea sounds good.

Although make it a pint of Pimms

[ErrolTheDragon]

OP - what you propose is in the generous side of normal. The last weddings I've been to were a glass of prosecco or OJ on arrival at the reception, wine and water on the table and a free drink ticket on each place setting, and then fizz for the toast. I donated my ticket to other people as the rest was more than enough for me.

Unlimited soft drinks or at least water might be nice, esp if there are families and lots of people needing to drive.

Re the 'pimms or a pint' - I like that idea but with the proviso that there should also be half-pints available.

[Artandco]

Red - that was the cost of 6 weddings to attend. Most friends and family don't live nearby.
£200+ babysitting is because we need someone a good 24hrs + by the time we drive 2-4 hrs to destination, wedding, hotel and back in morning

[Celticlassie]

I have never been to a wedding with a free bar and would never expect the bride and groom to pay for my alcohol. It's my choice to drink - why should they foot the bill. Having said that, it does grate when it's a super fancy venue and drink are £10+.
We gave our guests a cava or a beer on arrival and wine on the tables, plus a cava or beer on arrival for evening guests (another MN faux pas!). A lot of evening guests didn't have their arrival drink for whatever reason, so we redistributed them later in the night!

[Lovelybangers]

That sounds fine to me.

We had open bar for the first hour or so after the ceremony, so that covered the arrival drink.

Then had wine on the tables for the meal plus champagne for toasts.

In the evening we again had free bar for the first hour or so as the welcome drink. All other drinks were paid for by the guests.

We had approx 70 guests and our bar bill was way less than I anticipated. It wasn't an expensive venue though.

I have never been to a wedding with a free bar - I think it's quite normal.

[redshoeblueshoe]

£5k ! Blimey our wedding didn't cost that !

[redshoeblueshoe]

wobbly that's cute

[JassyRadlett]

And frankly, a drink on arrival, half a bottle of wine per person (what every venue we talked to provided as part of the cost), a glass of fizz and a drink in the evening would be plenty for most folk. That's quite a lot of alcohol.

[whowouldknow]

We did a free bar but that was only because the venue we had made it a viable option. Apart that and a wedding aboard I have never been to a wedding with a free bar.

Arrival drunk, wine on the table and toast is fine. I really only get invited to good friends or family so am happy to be part of their big day and have never felt resentful in paying for my own drinks! Also a free bar can get messy-people are greedy!!

[redshoeblueshoe]

Ickle that sounds great. I've never been to a wedding with a free bar. Artandco wow that's a lot. maybe I should start charging for babysitting

[wobblywonderwoman]

Something like this but you could make paper hearts

[JassyRadlett]

OP, what you describe is pretty standard. We were lucky enough to have an open bar at ours (we hadn't quite met the minimum spend for the venue, so we decided to put it behind the bar) and we were left in no doubt by our guests that they found it very unexpected.

Artandco, I've never been to a wedding, including some incredibly posh venues, where standard drinks weren't below £10 and soft drinks under £5....