FTM struggling with weaning

[Justakipper]

I’m really hoping that my message will reach other kind hearted mummy’s and make me feel less of a failure…
I am finding weaning my 8mo really hard and just can’t seem to get off the puree stage despite trying. I’m offering finger foods, trying a zero distraction environment, trying mashed foods with a few lumps, going back to puréed and I genuinely feel like I’m getting nowhere.
He is a small baby and has been under the paediatrician for a few months now as he struggled to gain weight enough to make HV happy. I feel he is perfectly healthy- active, good colour, sitting up since 5 months, babbles, all ok (I think anyway) but he just doesn’t really want to wean much at all.
im exhausted- I feel like I’ve failed at being a mummy at every sort of milestone or stage so far.
does anyone have any advice at all? I just want him to be happy and healthy and I’m worried he just won’t progress without weaning well. My head hurts with overthinking everything.

Has he had any teeth come through? As soon as 2 teeth had come through, that made such a difference to my DS.

Secondly, you have NOT failed! You love him and are trying your hardest. Please be kind to yourself x

My first just didn't like food until he was 13 months and is still very fussy. My second is currently ten months and eats everything. I've done exactly the same with both of them - it's very much child dependant so don't beat yourself up about it. Milk is still the main source of nutrition anyway at this stage so just play around offering different textures and don't stress x

He’s just had 4 teeth come through pretty much all at once! I don’t think there are anymore emerging at the mo, he has 6 for the moment xxx

Oh bless you OP ...I could have written this myself when DS was around that age! I felt like a failure. The thing I've learned that helped immensely was "division of responsibility" (Google has loads of info) - basically you offer various foods to your child every day and your child has the responsibility of deciding what they eat and how little or much. Once I kind of stuck to that it became so much less stressful for both of us. My son was able to regulate his own appetite, and encouraged him to explore new think without any pressure. It's just about keeping offering different foods in different ways.

I know it's so soul destroying seeing so much waste, but my DS is now just over 2 years and has a huge variety - but even now some days he lives off fresh air and other days we can't keep up, but he is thriving, happy healthy and a good weight. And there was times when he was teething etc where it felt like he didn't eat at all! We look at how he's done over the week now as opposed to the day, you'll be surprised how much does get tasted / eaten.

You're not alone it's so hard when it seems so easy for others, but it's a skill both parties need to learn. I'm so much more relaxed now and that simply came with time and patience. We also found eating out helped - different environments etc. Best of luck!

Also just wanted to add my DS only really got into food after he turned one, it was still difficult for a while but once that pressure was off it did help hugely. 8 months is still so young, you're doing all the right things

As long as he's gaining weight and happy I'd would back off and just offer bits of things to try.

Please try and take the pressure off both of you, and remember he will eventually eat normal foods, just like the rest of the billions on the planet.

You're doing great OP.

It's good that he's babbling. You can check he's on track with it in this simple progress checker.

We had a very similar problem with our DS and it turned out to be Tongue Tie. Does your DS have any of the symptoms?