Domestic abuse but already seperated

BodyKeepingScore · 13/04/2024 19:24

Women's Aid are a fabulous resource and they'll have extensive experience of the kind of abuse you've described x

Redlarge · 13/04/2024 19:46

You could try womens aid for emotional support but no one will stop him.
She can apply for court for a child arrangement order to try and pin him down to regular contact.
She needs to apply for child maintenance

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Brendabigbaps · 13/04/2024 19:49

Redlarge · 13/04/2024 19:46

You could try womens aid for emotional support but no one will stop him.
She can apply for court for a child arrangement order to try and pin him down to regular contact.
She needs to apply for child maintenance

Is there a charity who will tell her all this and take her through it?
he’s beaten her down over the years

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Redlarge · 13/04/2024 19:52

Brendabigbaps · 13/04/2024 19:49

Is there a charity who will tell her all this and take her through it?
he’s beaten her down over the years

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Womens aid i think.
You can do it all yourself
Child maintenance is a form online. Child arrangement order is an online court form on gov website. Neither take long.
Citizens advice could help if she cant do it herself.

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GingerIsBest · 13/04/2024 19:56

Yup, I think Womens Aid is her best bet.

Re witholding money, her best options are to speak to her divorce solicitor and/or claim via CMS.

It's pretty common for this sort of abuse to ramp up and for the abuser to use the chldren as a way to continue the abuse. Everything from threats, "if you keep doing that I won't fetch the kids" to actually following through and not having them/leaving htem at school/not paying for them etc.

I am sorry for your friend. If it's any consolation, she's not alone. if she came on somewhere like Mn she'd get a lot of support.

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Starlightstarbright3 · 13/04/2024 20:14

Just got to the cms for maintenance .

in terms of contact get her to document any times he doesn’t turn up. If he is doing it regularly . Tell him he needs to collect children from … make sure assuming it is school they know Dad is collecting . It is a bit of a case of giving himself enough rope to hand himself .

re court . I don’t necessarily recommend court … all that does is make the Rp have to have the child/children available for contact . It doesn’t mean he is obligated to have them .

along with women’s aid , tell her to look up grey rock and the freedom program . All of these are useful

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Brendabigbaps · 13/04/2024 20:23

I can’t support her through this. He literally lives too close to home and I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. If he knows I’m supporting he will take it out on my family.
I need to be able to say to her, go to these people, they will tell you who can help you and what you’re entitled to and how to do it.

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DrSpartacular · 13/04/2024 20:33

Direct her to Women's Aid.

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keffie12 · 13/04/2024 20:40

Brendabigbaps · 13/04/2024 19:13

I’m just looking for advice that I can give an acquaintance please.

a family ( parents, 2 kids under 12) have recently separated.
he is emotionally abusive. I’ve seen and experienced it with my own eyes.
they’ve recently split up and live in 2 separate homes, and as expected, he’s being more abusive than normal (withholding money, refusing any support, not doing his share of the kids but not telling her so they don’t get picked up etc)
she’s tried to keep in amicable but it’s not going to be as he’s just a complete dickhead, controlling, manipulative etc,

who can I tell her to contact for advice and support?
legally and with her rights?

Women's Aid. She is still in what they call the aftermath of domestic abuse. They will help her in all ways, including therapy. Link below

www.womensaid.org.uk/

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Domestic abuse but already seperated