Since dd7 nearly fell off she’s lost confidence

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

Dd7 usually rides her DS16 pony once or twice a week. Pony is 14.2 but dd7 is very tall for her age.

a few weeks ago dd7 was doing small cross poles and nearly came off after many successful ones. She stayed on though.

its shook her up and now she refuses to even lead pony let a lot sit on her. Pony is absolutely bomb proof and an amazing girl. She has never put a hoof wrong.

dd16 is going uni in a couple of years and the plan was for pony to be dd7s but how the hell do I overcome this new found fear?! She’s been riding since she was 4 originally at a riding school but said teacher now teachers her on pony.

[Vergeofbreakdown23]

I think you just have to kind of find a way to get her back on.... Even if you go right back to basics and she just sits and someone leads her round..... Hopefully once her bum goes back in that saddle she start getting her confidence back etc x
Fingers crossed for you both xx

[Tempnamechng]

Learning how to take a fall is all part of learning to ride. If you know how to hit the ground, you won't fear it - believe me my arse made contact with the ground plenty of times over the years. Loosing your nerve is difficult though. Perhaps a few basics such as pony care would help - she's still young, so slow and steady and keep it fun. Riding isn't for everyone, but if its what she loves she'll get back into it.

[Lastqueenofscotland2]

Don’t force it! If she doesn’t want to she doesn’t have to and trying to “encourage” her may make her double down on not wanting to. Just offer and if she says no that’s ok.

[Floralnomad]

@Lastqueenofscotland2

Don’t force it! If she doesn’t want to she doesn’t have to and trying to “encourage” her may make her double down on not wanting to. Just offer and if she says no that’s ok.

This . Mine were both at the jumping stage when they decided riding wasn’t for them ( 8&5 at the time ) . You could see if she wants to ride a smaller pony at riding school . FWIW mine were never persuaded back on although my daughter is happy to be around horses .

[maxelly]

Yes I'd see if she feels more up to it with a smaller pony but not put too much pressure on, at the end of the day it's totally logical how she's feeling, it's a long way to fall from a big animal (relative to her size) so it's natural enough if she's had a sudden event that's made her realise her vulnerability. Has she ever fallen? In a weird way it might have been better if she had actually come off because in all likelihood she wouldn't have hurt herself and the reality of falling not being as bad as she imagines might have actually scared her less than having all the natural survival/fear instincts kicking in with none of actual consequences. Of course you don't want to be actively hoping they'll fall off 😅 but I do admit to being a little bit pleased to see a kid have a soft/easy fall at a relatively early stage as part of their general horsemanship education as they then don't seem to get as scared later on.

I'd just gently ask her if she'd like a lesson at the riding school but if it's a no don't force her, you want positive reinforcement and positive experiences to overcome the fear, if you insist she'll probably tense up, wind up the pony and generally not have a nice time and that will only reinforce the pattern her brain is stuck in that riding = scary. At the end of the day riding is meant to be fun and it shouldnt be a big deal if she chooses not too. It's a pity if your plan about the pony doesn't come to pass but a sound/bombproof kids pony will never lack for a job, you could easily put her out on loan while your Dd's at uni if need be?

[MindHowYouGoes]

I’d let her know that jumping is off the table if she doesn’t want to do it. She might be scared she’s going to be asked to do it again when she doesn’t want to so reassure her she doesn’t have to do it. Let her tell you when she’s ready to try jumping or even polework again.

a lot of lessons are automatically geared up to get people jumping as the end goal and if you don’t enjoy jumping that can be difficult to deal with.

[EeesandWhizz]

See if you can borrow a smaller pony for a while, alternatively just accept that she doesn't want to ride anymore.

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

The thing is she really does want to ride. She absolutely loves it and loves doing everything with pony she’s just scared. I think it’s the mounting block. It’s quite wobbly and yesterday she was so excited to get on pony but the min she stood on the block she started crying and saying she felt sick because it’s wobbly.

she also worries when pony shakes her head or moves even slightly while waiting for her to get on. But she so wants to do it.

im thinking of buying our own mounting block, maybe one of those plastic ones that look more sturdy. I’m also taking her shopping for a body protector this weekend .

[lifebeginsaftercoffee]

Let her have a break and give her anxiety or else a chance to come back down again.

[Equines]

Ask DD what she wants to do. Can she be in a group of friends who will give her support/encouragement?

[sprigatito]

14.2 is pretty big for a 7yo! I'd try her on a smaller pony, with no pressure to progress or do anything challenging for a while.

[MindHowYouGoes]

Can someone leg her up onto the pony for now?

[IfIwasrude]

Sort out the mounting block and lead her endlessly on the lead rein until she's bored and wants to do more.

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

It’s breaking my heart because she’s so excited to ride then the minute she’s on the block she freaks out and cries and has a panic attack. She’s saying there’s a voice in her head that’s telling her not to ride :(

she did do a little more today with the trainer with a borrowed body protector on. She put her foot in the sturrup and pulled herself up but hasn’t sat on her.

iv ordered her some kids rescue remedies drops

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

@sprigatito

14.2 is pretty big for a 7yo! I'd try her on a smaller pony, with no pressure to progress or do anything challenging for a while.

She’s extremely tall for her age. She actually doesn’t look too small on her

[Balloonhearts]

Pony isn't that big, can't you give her a leg up if the mounting block is a bit dodgy?

She's lost confidence, we've all been there. My first fall, I spent 6 weeks walking in circles with my instructor next to me and not even able to trot because I was too tense pick up a rhythm.

Once the weather got warmer, he stopped being so damn spooky, I got bored walking and just randomly asked for a trot. And it was fine. She'll do the same, if you can get her back on and take it slowly, she'll be fine.

Can you get her on a different pony? Smaller, bigger, whatever, just someone else. If she has had a wobble and lost trust, riding someone else might help.

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

I don’t think it’s the pony tbh, she’s an absolute saint and I don’t think she would get a better pony. She will happily stand at the block for ages while dd has a meltdown, she’s worth her weight in gold.

I’m buying a new block tomorrow in hopes that helps.

trasuner is going to set her homework to do each week like leading pony, grooming her etc

[PawsisShady]

I was basically terrified at one point as an adult so I bored myself
Get on, get off. Done
Get on, walk a circle, get off. Done
Walked until I was so bored that I trotted. The transition was rubbish so I tried it again. And again
I sat on at every opportunity, would jump on to ride her to the field, sit on her to get the mud off her ears and bum etc

I managed to go from not being able to get on to cantering alone on a hack on an open field and jumping, something just clicked

[Postapocalypticcowgirl]

@Thedarksideofrbemoon04

She’s extremely tall for her age. She actually doesn’t look too small on her

Regardless of whether she looks small on a 14.2, I'm sure she could ride a smaller pony. For a lot of kids, getting on something a bit smaller really helps. Or just getting on something different after a scare? It's surely worth a try if it's at all possible. It's not about finding a new pony long term, just seeing if a different pony makes a difference!

If the mounting block is an issue, could your instructor give her a leg up? That way, she's on the pony pretty quickly and no chance to faff about.

I'm sympathetic to her being scared, but I wouldn't let her spend a lot of time putting all her weight through one stirrup- it's not great for the pony's back. It's also arguably a risky position to be in.

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

Where am I supposed to find a smaller pony? lol

her trainer was helping her. She’s 4 stone wet through, I’m sure pony his fine. Dd16 rides and it obviously a lot bigger.

[lifebeginsaftercoffee]

The pony may well be fine in terms of size, but often when you have a fall or a shock it's easier to get your confidence back on another pony first.

When I had my first fall I couldn't bring myself to get back on the same horse for weeks - but I was perfectly fine riding a different horse (who was actually bigger but just didn't have the same negative associations with him).

I know it's not that easy when it's your own pony they're scared of but it's definitely something worth thinking about.

[Floralnomad]

@Thedarksideofrbemoon04

Where am I supposed to find a smaller pony? lol

her trainer was helping her. She’s 4 stone wet through, I’m sure pony his fine. Dd16 rides and it obviously a lot bigger.

A riding school .

[Thedarksideofrbemoon04]

@Floralnomad

A riding school .

all riding schools around here and full unfortunately, she’s actually on a waiting list for the one that pony club is at.

[Balloonhearts]

@lifebeginsaftercoffee

The pony may well be fine in terms of size, but often when you have a fall or a shock it's easier to get your confidence back on another pony first.

When I had my first fall I couldn't bring myself to get back on the same horse for weeks - but I was perfectly fine riding a different horse (who was actually bigger but just didn't have the same negative associations with him).

I know it's not that easy when it's your own pony they're scared of but it's definitely something worth thinking about.

Me too. Horse I fell off is nothing short of angelic. A sweeter natured horse you will not find. Stands for ages. But I couldn't even bring myself to trot on him for weeks. Couldnt stop shaking. At one point I fumbled his tack so many times he got confused why I kept bending down and offered me his foot. 😂

Horse I eventually got my confidence back on is a dickhead. 18.2 of pure arsehole. Will NOT stand still unless bribed with food, stamps, kicks back, snatches his reins until you give in and let him walk. Very headstrong when he wants to be but very responsive and great fun to ride. I just didn't have the negative association with him, despite him being more difficult.

[Floralnomad]

Then it’s probably best to just leave her be for now pottering around doing jobs / grooming etc if she wants or leave her at home / in the car whilst you / other daughter do the chores . Are you sure she doesn’t feel like you want her to ride even if you’ve not said so .