Help, I've lost control of a horse!

[Gemling]

I'll try and condense this. We have my daughters two horses on our property. Pony 1 is well behaved, we kept her after dd outgrew her and then we got a tb mare. Mare has now been with us for 10 years, dd did pony club and events with her, mare was always a bit strong willed but dd was confident rider and managed her well. Now dd is away from home (at uni) and mare hasn't been ridden in a couple of years. (With hindsight I see we probably should have moved her on, but she'd become a pet so she stayed.) Horses are stabled at night then moved into one of four fields each morning. The mare has become a proper handful, kicks out and bucks and has reared a few times when I'm leading her to the field. I've become very nervous of her, which she knows and reacts to. She's slightly better with dh, but he is often away and the horses have become my job. I know I've lost control of her, lost my nerve and don't know to improve things. Any advice? (She came to us quite head shy which we eventually overcame, but any jerk on a lead rope sets her off). Dd is not home enough to put in any significant schooling.

[todayisnottheday]

I do think there is a time and a place for a good, confident "pack it in" reminder. We're all different, a friend will raise a hand (but not hit) with a stern word another gives a chuck on the leadrope and a behave growl, another will stick an elbow in sharply (not to hit but so the pressure is enough to get them to stop) and tell them to listen. I've perfected a rumbly deep "ENOUGH" that seems to work. However they only work if the horse understands you are not going to allow it they can tell if you're worried and don't mean it. I would suggest working out a way dd and dh can help for a week or so. They do their thing with the mare, you take the pony. Once mare is a bit more off her toes swap, find out what works for you whilst you have back up. Then it's a case of fake it till you make it. Nothing builds your confidence more than seeing something working. The more confident you are the less she'll react.

Btw I use a bridle for leading one of our ponies, undone so it will come off easily. He's a swine for suddenly legging it and cannot be stopped (one day he towed me 11st and my friend 14st to the field, nothing we did had any effect) so now I do what's needed to make things safe. He never runs with a bridle on because he's clever enough to know his limitations. It's always ok to employ help when safety is an issue.

[T1nk5]

I had the opposite problem, my mare was very nervy when I first got her which meant when I used to lead her she would be very clingy and in my personal space, which was a major pain in the arse especially when she spooked and potentially quite dangerous. So i bought a parelli head collar and started (with help) to do some parelli with her, just claiming back my space when standing on the yard or leading in hand. It has made a huge difference she's a lot calmer now, and occasionally when she starts to get a little neurotic we go back and do some parelli sessions and it seems to really centre her

[TinyDancingHoofer]

Is the TB an ex racehorse? If so you could try leading in a chifney, it might spark an old memory in her and she might remember to behave with one. They are quicker to put on and off than a head collar too.