Missing parents eve due to childcare

[Alphvet]

Anyone ever had to miss a parents evening due to childcare? How did school react? (We are both teachers, occasionally our parents eves clash)

[iMatter]

Babysitter.

Dh and I have spent just short of a squillion pounds on babysitters over the years, both for work and pleasure.

It goes with the territory if you don't have family help.

[Babbitywabbit]

Missing a parents' evening because you're sick, or some major unexpected event has occurred e.g. Your parent dying, is quite different from missing one because you haven't booked a babysitter. Dates are set well in advance. I appreciate its a pain paying an evening babysitter when you've already forked out childcare all day (been there myself, my whole day's pay went on nursery fees for two toddlers so anything in the evening on top was effectively working at a loss) However as a salaried professional I don't think it's reasonable to just miss a parents evening because you don't want to organise childcare

[JustCallMeKate]

I'd be very unimpressed if you weren't at parents' evening, as a parent and as a former teacher.

🙄 For goodness sake things happen in everyone's personal life that outweighs having to do a parents evening. As a former teacher you should understand that! My dad died the day before parents evening and there was no way I could have sat there and spoken to parents. You could be unimpressed all you want, as frankly, I didn't give a shit about how parents or former teachers were feeling when I'd just suffered a massive loss in my life.

OP in your circumstances you can plan ahead for parents evening and as others have said there's plenty of time to find a babysitter that the children are settled with.

[cupofteaplease]

I'm a single parent and a teacher. I have to arrange and pay for a babysitter for Parents' Eve/new intake evening etc.

[MaisyPops]

octopus
Surely you know all illnesses, life events (like bereavement, labour) should all be timetabled around school.

Reminds me of a colleague who got an ear torn off by a student and their parent because they cancelled a VOLUNTARY revision class (that the child never turned up to despite home claiming their child did). She stood up thr next lesson saying "there's been a few complaints suggesting that I can't be bothered to run a revision club that I do voluntarily and apparently this matter is being referred to the head. I'll would just like to apologise to those of you for not being able to control the death of a loved one'. The people involved looked very sheepish.
The idea that parents just assume we can't be bothered is frankly insulting (but explains a lot). If somebody isn't doing something then there is a reason approved by work.

[thatdearoctopus]

As a parent, I take a dim view if her teachers aren't there- it has happened- and everyone is always "can't even be bothered to turn up to speak to the parents"

Really? You automatically assume that it's because they "can't be bothered?" I missed one recently (the first and only one in 30 years - even hobbled in on crutches for two, when I was signed off for months for a badly-broken leg) after my mother died. Would that be an adequate excuse for you? Thankfully, our parents were sweet about it, and were happy to pop in on an alternative date.

[NancyJoan]

Is there someone at the nursery who might be your babysitter?

[Allthebestnamesareused]

When I am working I have to pay for childcare. You are working therefore pay for a sitter!

[ParadiseCity]

I guess your DH has been at his school longer and would be the better one to take the hit?

Although I do think having a babysitter available is v v helpful not just for this but so you can go out as a couple. Then in emergencies the kids are less stressed.

[LockedOutOfMN]

My school does not allow us to miss parents' evening so I'd have to get a babysitter if DH was not able to supervise them.

[cantkeepawayforever]

I did miss a -primary - parents' evening due to completely losing my voice.

It was simply rescheduled for the following week, with the same rota of parents coming to speak to me (they weren't all that happy, especially as those with siblings had had to come in on 2 separate evenings, but it was unavoidable)

As a parent, i have also encountered 'x is unwell and cannot be here - please e-mail for a summary of your child's progress' at secondary. I have found that irritating but not catastrophic for 'non core' subjects.

I would, (as a teacher but also parent with no childcare cover, and a DH who works away a lot, who ends up with extremely complicated arrangements for the childcare to attend my own, and my children's parents' evenings), be less than impressed by a member of staff whose job it was to do the parents' evening but who did not put in the effort to make similar arrangements. Sorry.

[DandelionAndBedrock]

Maybe see if a colleague has a teenager who could sit nearby with your children? I think a babysitter is your best option though.

[BeyondThePage]

D-oh.... sorry

[Alphvet]

😀 yes sorry. I should have made that clear at the start. I am a teacher

[tinhead]

Op is a teacher not a parent!

[BeyondThePage]

I have never met ANYONE who would hire a babysitter to cover parents evening. Nothing at parents evening should be a surprise, teachers do not exist in some protected bubble with instructions to never let parents know how kids are doing - except for parents evening.

Some people seem to treat everything from school as some sort of compulsory summons - it is not. If it is not convenient don't go.

[Alphvet]

Yea I'll look into getting a babysitter I think for these kind of occasions

[WinnieTheW0rm]

You need to hire a baby sitter or emergency nanny.

I'm sorry if this sounds a bit dismissive, but it's what all working parents have to do when there is Stuff that clashes and what lone parents have to do for many things.

[BeyondThePage]

It depends on the child. Ours are top set and make friends easily - we are lucky.

So, we don't tend to go to every one (2 a year each child). Work commitments often get in the way - remember when they say parents "evening" often it does not actually correspond with any definition of "evening" that I would use.

(3.30-5pm IS NOT EVENING!)

[JustMumNowNotMe]

Just hire a babysitter?!

[Alphvet]

Thanks. 3 and 4. They are in wrap around care and my husband worked near where they are and I am about 30 mins away. Our parents are old and live away. We have the odd neighbour who could help.
I am a born worrier and moving jobs in sept so although I've missed one evening before due to clashes, I've been established in the school and less worried than I am now.
Just waiting for the calendars for next year to see if we have any that clash.
Thanks for your advice, it's not easy is it, kids and work! 😀

[UniversallyUnchallenged]

How old is your child? Staffs kids just sit in Libary

[VintagePerfumista]

When dd was small I asked a friend to have her for the afternoon/evening.

As a parent, I take a dim view if her teachers aren't there- it has happened- and everyone is always "can't even be bothered to turn up to speak to the parents"

So, from both sides of the fence, start to get your plans laid now!

[MaisyPops]

If there is an unavoidable clash then there's an unavoidable clash.

You could start your appointments early and then leave at 6? Or send a letter to each parent with information and then offer phone call appointments.
I'd be very unimpressed if you weren't at parents' evening, as a parent and as a former teacher.
You can be as unimpressed as you like. Sometimes things happen where anyone may need to be excused from something at work.
I missed a parents evening this year being unwell. A colleague had 2 poorly children she had to collect from school/nursery at lunch and her husband worked away. No childcare because they were in school wrap around.
We made alternative arrangements and that was that.

[ASauvingnonADay]

We generally get about 60% attendance (ongoing issues with parental engagement!) so you wouldn't be hugely judged if you really couldn't come. We have said no though to parents asking for an alternative evenings ppointment or for staff to provide them with updates if they haven't come because it's just not feasible.