Help - one week to decide

[punygod]

Basically, I hate my job.

I teach English in a small rural secondary school - which sounds idyllic.

It's not.

Behaviour is appalling, SLT are useless, the school is just out of SM and every day there are new initiatives, scrutinies, etc etc. It's impossible to keep up.

I've been observed to death and earlier this year my GP signed me off for three weeks for work-related stress, prescribing sertraline to get me through to the end of the year. He advised that I change my career.

There's a misogynistic 'lad' culture in the staff room - we're talking scat porn being passed around on phones, and last week a cover supervisor exposed his bare arse in the staff room. I came home and cried all night.

I know this job is unsustainable, but the hard facts are I'm not qualified for anything else, my dp is currently looking for work and as a result of some poor decision making, my stbxh gives me no money for our kids (we do 50/50) even though dp and I do the lion's share of buying their things, treats etc.

I have kept our large ex-marital home on because I want my children to have some stability and because house prices mean I would be selling it very cheaply - and it's my main asset.

I have no mortgage and I do have a small income from investments, so I might be able to make ends meet - but the thought of losing the main household income really scares me.

I've no idea what to do. I feel trapped.

Does anyone have any advice?

Apparently they will check for damage and bill me.

So I'll take your advice about photos.

Hand in your notice. Register with supply agencies straight away.

Where are you? With the summer coming up you may find a summer nanny position, you usually get decent money for nanny jobs too. If dp has found a job by then of course you'd need to be allowed to take your kids on some of the days. How old are they?

At night could you do some babysitting? As you are a very well qualified person you can charge a good rate. Stick notices through doors, nurseries, join sitters.co.uk and try gumtree if you are in a major city. Lots of childcare stuff is actually done through gumtree.

When kids are not with you then just the two of you have very basic meals to save cash.

Sell anything you have lying around that you do not need. Do a carboot this Sunday and Monday.

If you finish in July then will your last paydate be july or August? Come sept cpuld you look for a cover sup, TA, mentor role somewhere else?

Leave, leave now before it kills you. You need to resign, go, recover your health and make decisions from a stronger place in the future. At the moment it all feels impossible because you're ill, under huge pressure and deeply stressed so you need to solve that first. Resign from end of school year but do not go back into school. Go to do doctors abs get signed off till end of school year and take the last term to try and get well. Do not go back into your workplace.

I 'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel .

The car was a major outgoing.

I 'm starting to think this is doable .

Thanks for the great ideas.

Well maybe wait till the exams are over!

OP are you a member of a union? I wonder if you should take some advice from them before making any firm decisions.

You'll make no difference to exams now. They either know it or they don't by now. So just focus on yourself and your own health and sanity, I've known far too many teachers surviving on anti depressants and in the grand scheme of things it's just not worth it. Leave, recover, get some breathing space and you will find something better.

I am a member of a union, yes. I spoke to them last year about the number of times I'd been observed (9) but the school wriggled out of it.

They call observations lots of other names, say they're not official because they're not making notes, etc.

Tutoring can be lucrative but is very seasonal. This month I will make approx £1500, in July and August I will make £0 while most months I make £500-800. But that plus marking, plus careful budgeting, plus some work editing and proofreading means I earn about £10k a year. It's not huge but it helps and it's all evening work. If I didn't have DD at home with me I could work in a supermarket or something during the day too and earn pretty well. You have options OP. Getting out of a miserable school was the best thing I ever did.

So, I sat in a form tutor meeting yesterday and listened to the head of yr8 describing students as 'retards' and 'window lickers'. My union rep was present. I had to explain to him why that was offensive.

So I think that was the last straw.

Holy shit. Get out, get out, get out. And while you do so, put in a formal complaint. That is AWFUL. What was the rep's response?!

A shrug and a smile.

What?! You need to change unions too. I'm flabbergasted.

It's honestly totally normal at my school.

I can't add much more, except that I have found that as an ex-teacher, subsequent jobs have really valued the skills that I developed while teaching. There are huge amounts of transferable skills that you probably take for granted at the moment. A quick list includes:

Organisational skills - including meeting multiple hard deadlines.
Ability to persuade.
Excellent communication skills and ability to explain complex concepts, tailored to varying audiences.
Resilience (you might not feel it now, but you have got it)

Thank you. I 'm feeling stronger all the time.

Plan is, resign tomorrow, then go for a good night out, spend half term updating cv and job hunting.

Thank you. I 'm feeling stronger all the time.

Plan is, resign tomorrow, then go for a good night out, spend half term updating cv and job hunting.

Thank you. I 'm feeling stronger all the time.

Plan is, resign tomorrow, then go for a good night out, spend half term updating cv and job hunting.

Sorry for multiposts.

I'm leaving in July, I can't wait. I'm going to supply, I hope it will build my confidence again after a frankly horrible period in an academy that has been like a nightmare. (Rubbish SMT, no support, crazy behaviour in kids, being blamed for their lack of progress when i've only had them since February and they were VASTLY overlevelled, bullying head, staff in tears, and so on...)

And if I hate supply ( which I shouldn't, I loved it before, it's only this school that have murdered me, I hope), then i'll work at ruddy Tesco. The weight off my shoulders is amazing.

I keep saying 'I'll work in bloody Tesco's'.

It seems to be a teacher mantra :)

Aldi pays better & the staff seem happy enough.

One of my colleagues was very well off after her divorce & bought a small house for her and her kids with a small mortgage but kept some savings back.

She had a job in the public sector so wasn't likely to be made redundant but her plan was that if it all went wrong she could go and work in a supermarket and still cover the bills.

Go for it. It sounds appalling. And then enjoy half term.

Go for it. It sounds appalling. And then enjoy half term.

Oops so good I said it twice!