Anyone ever walked out of a job....literally walked out?

[nocontactforevermore]

I posted a thread on AIBU a few weeks ago and fb eh suggested asking on here as well. I have been in a temp post 6 weeks approx. Its part time, an academy and basically awful. In the briefest terms, the dept is a mess, kids are wild, and have embarked on an almost predicable witch hunt against me because they are disillusioned, fed up etc. The kids seem to rule the school, calling me foul names etc. Line manager tries to support, takes naughtiest out etc, but it's truly awful. No books, little ICT equipment, kids wee even studying wrong exam board. It's dreadful.

I want out. Union just said 'check their terms and conditions to see when you can leave/read the behaviour policy etc. useless.

Trouble is, I don't even want to go back Monday. I feel ill already and I'm only part time. I literally cannot face it.
I've had an 11 year unbroken career before this and took this jib so I could be in a less stressful role. I was a middle manager before this with a successful track record. I'm an idiot.

[winklewoman]

There are three permitted leaving dates for teachers, one of which is 30th April, and for this you have until 28th Feb to resign. Bearing in mind that one week before then will be half term and a couple of weeks should be Easter holidays, you have approximately nine weeks term time to cope with. As you only work two days a week, can you look on it as 18 days to get through with the end in sight? This would certainly help with any future reference.

[Pooka]

You won't be able to drop it from your cv as a teacher and in relation to the DBS (crb) checks I think that you have to state every place of employment.

Was talking to my mum (ex teacher) who told me this. Think it might relate to Ian Huntley (Soham) because he dropped a place of employment from his CV and so CRB wasn't complete (I understand).

[FireMaker]

Places of employment are not asked about on crb form, so no problem there with pretending it didn't exist.

[slug]

Is it possible you are still in the probationary period of your contract? If so, then it's easier to walk out. I did that once, on the last day of my probation I walked. They had promised me a trainee role but I was put in a corner and expected to get on with it with no training or support. Not teaching, though I have been a teacher so I sympathise. It was a highly technical role with a highly idiosynchratic structure that would have been impossible to do without initial support.

When asked about it now I say I left for 'family responsibilities', though I will be quite open about my reasons for leaving if pushed.

[nocontactforevermore]

The email I sent resulted in a meeting with my line manager (as stated earlier on in the thread). She spoke a lot about how she had been shafted was glad I was on board etc. she only wrote a fraction down of what we spoke of. We had an action plan for behaviour and made a lot of calls home to parents. The following week however, 3 girls who had verbally abused me were allowed back in my lesson. One of them is not allowed contact with home so we were unable to have the support of parents anyway. In terms of how she was expecting me to tackle my workload, she kept saying how we needed to 'work together'. I ended up coming away feeling sorry for her - what a dick I am, because since the latest incident, she has reverted to writing me very formal emails, whereas before she was all casual and matey.

Yes it was the NUT regional rep. I wouldn't have the first clue who the school based one is.

I actually like the 18 days idea. I really like it!

[NigellasDealer]

yes i have and it was fantastic
it was a language school in london and a class of arrogant Swiss kids rolling their eyes at me
i just walked out and got the bus home

[Nellymay]

You are in what seems to be a dysfunctional school - it will never be right, it will always be a toxic environment that is harmful to you.
I am a teacher now retired and I think that you need to get out for your own sake - life is too short to spend any more time there. Go off sick, email them and tell them you are reviewing your options and are taking advice from your union and your family.

I have been in similar situations and have managed to extricate myself - without too much pain. You're being worn down by this job and you're losing your sense of self and finding it hard to make decisions because of the stress it's causing you. Once you get out things will look much better.
Good luck

[Ubik1]

Just to cheer you up...

I did some casual work on the features desk at The Sun about 25 years ago, very young, and the woman in charge was abduteky fucking terrifying. She would pace about her office then suddenly throw the door open and start bollocking some poor minion. Me and the other casual freelance quaked through a morning and then grabbed put stuff and literally ran out the door at lunchtime never to return

Oh op, I really sympathise it's a horrid situation. If you held out til Easter you could just record it as a temporary position? Supply?

Echo the others - don't just run away, decide whether you need to go off with stress or hand in formal notice.

[winklewoman]

Whatever job you apply for next, you would do better to resign w/e 30 April as you are perfectly entitled to do, and cite any reason you choose if anyone asks, rather than have 'gone off with stress' on your record - enough to put anyone off giving you a job. Remeber, 18 days and counting down!

[Phineyj]

I agree with winkle and make a chart - when you are working out notice somewhere you hate, crossing days off in thick black pen is v. satisfying.

[nocontactforevermore]

Aww thanks you guys. I appreciate the help. Will update as soon as I can

[colander]

Please be aware that you will not be able to hide this period of employment for safe guarding reasons. Also, all future employers will need a reference from your most recent head - ie this one.

As a teacher, I sympathise with you. This is happening all too frequently in our schools and is being brushed under the carpet. You sound such a caring teacher, wanting to do well for these children. In your position I would stop shouting at them, why waste your time and energy, and get yourself signed off. I too would want to avoid this at all costs and can understand your reluctance, but the school has put you in a position where if you want to leave ths may be your only option if you want to stay in teaching.

Good luck

[Twinkle186]

nocontact a pupil at my school called a member of staff a cunt this week - he was excluded for three days and there were still plenty of people who said that this was not severe enough!

If your school lets pupils treat staff in this way then they are not worth your time, let alone your sanity. You certainly shouldn't feel guilty about leaving. I agree with the posters who suggest you get to the gp asap

[nkf]

I really really disapprove of this getting signed off business. All she has to do is resign and wait a few weeks. She's not sick. She's in a badly run school and she has the option of resigning.

[HesterShaw]

But she is shaking and crying about the mere idea of going in on Monday. Does that sound ok to you?

[winklewoman]

Hester, it not a good situation for the OP but presumably other staff are coping. I agree with NFK, getting signed off is often the loser's easy way out. The Op seems to have the sense to hang on to the end of term in her own interests let alone that of the kids. She is being positive about a bad set-up and she should be given support to continue until the end of term.

[nkf]

No, of course it doesn't sound okay. That's why, in my opinion, she should look at the option of resigning immediately. Why stay? She doesn't need the job. She's only been there a few weeks. The school sounds like shit. I bet the stress would lift as soon as she resigned. If she negotiated properly, they'd probably let her go by the end of the week.

[winklewoman]

NFK, but even if she resigns immediately, it can only be effective from 1 April according to teachers' terms and cs. However if she does resign now with that date in mind, she might well be able to negotiate early release as you suggest, but not guaranteed.

[nkf]

I know. But it's not working out and they will have to find someone new anyway or get in long term supply. She's barely been there. She might not be allowed to leave, but she might. It's worth asking. I just think getting upset and not doing the only thing that will get you out of this is a mistake. She's not coping. Now she's having to defend herself from accusations. This is the time to cut your losses in the quickest, most civilised way possible way.

I would say the line to take is, "This isn't working out. I intend to leave as soon as my contract allows and I would like to go sooner. Please can we make this happen." Over and over again.

As for the reference business, what sort of reference is she going to get if she hangs around becoming more and more upset and angry. Or calls in sick. They will know she isn't sick. It's time for honesty temperd with politeness.

[winklewoman]

Yes, NFK, I agree with your suggestion on the line to take. But if they won't wear it, the 18 day countdown is the better option and with the end ever closer she may not become more 'upset and angry'. Calling in sick is certainly a bad idea regarding future employment .

[HesterShaw]

Your post reads like you think people who are signed off with stress are losers. I'm sure you didn't mean it like that.

[KristinaM]

Yes I walked out a job once. But it wasn't a professional position, I'd only been there a few weeks and I was quite young ( it was in childcare ). The other staff and manager were horrible although the work was ok. I got very stressed by their nastiness and ended up having a severe asthma attack at work and was taken off to hospital in an ambulance, blue lights flashing.

No one from work came with me and they never phoned to find out how I was. I mean ever. For all they know I could have died.

Once I was discharged I never went back.

I'd like to be able to tell you that I learned from this experience , but I didn't. In my 30s I stayed in a professional job which I LOATHED for years after I should have left. It seriously affected my mental and physical health . I didn't realise how bad it was until I left. I was so stupid

[ThatVikRinA22]

hester i thought that too.

it was a losers way out for me - i was seriously depressed and a nervous wreck. My job is dangerous, thankless and hard.
it took a good 5 months of counselling and medication to enable me to walk back in.
and walk back in i did and have been fine since.
i dont consider myself a loser - i battled on for 6 months after my GP tried to sign me off initially - battled on until i literally dropped, physically ill, mentally unwell and unable to get out of bed.
im sorry if thats anyones definition of loser. i work as a police officer and i had to admit that i was suffering depression and anxiety and THEN go back.
The number of officers who contacted me via a police forum saying how brave i was to admit what i was signed off with was shocking.

[ThatVikRinA22]

*wasnt a losers way out for me.

ffs. i need to proof read.

[winklewoman]

Vicar , to be stressed is not necessarily to be a 'loser' , the way an individual deals with the stressful situation is what defines that description. You did not roll ever and take the easy way out, you did not give up, you came back and and hats off to you for your courage. Sadly the advice to 'go off sick ' is often dished out as an easy solution regardless of the chaos and indeed stress it might cause to everyone else. Not every 'stressed' teacher is stressed because they have a wicked HT, a crap school and difficult pupils, some are just no good at the job. This is by no means aimed at the OP by the way.