How to help very nervous rescue cat

[Kittypack]

4 Weeks ago we adopted a 3 year old cat who had been in a hoarding situation. We've got two other cats who aren't best pleased he's here but mostly just stay out of his way.

He's very affectionate towards me and my husband but absolutely terrified of my (very gentle and cat savvy) 4 year old. 4 year old mostly ignores him as he's so used to being around cats, but he is a typical noisy small child.

This poor cat spends his entire day hiding until my son is in bed, and has recently taken to hiding upstairs. We tried to bring him down twice today as he hadn't eaten or used the litter tray but he was so scared and ran back up.

He came down this evening and was more nervous than usual, flinching each time my husband stood up or opened the door (but sitting on his lap whenever he was still!) And I've just discovered that at some point he's pooped all over our bed.

I just don't know what to do, I know it's early days but I feel awful he's so scared all the time and especially because I'm pretty sure it's my child he's afraid of.

Time & patience.

Feliway and soothing classical music can help calm cats but mostly it's time and patience. Some rescues take a long time to settle. I wouldn't bring her downstairs until she's ready, just keep being near her and chatting. She needs her own space so hopefully she has her own room where other cats aren't allowed. She'll get there.

If you have an extra cat in the house, you need an extra litter tray as well really. So maybe you could put one upstairs so the new cat can get to it without coming down. Same with a bowl of water at least, possibly even some dried food. This would both help with the nerves, and reduce the chance of accidents.

I would also suggest trying Zylkene, you can open the capsules and sprinkle the powder on wet food and that can be calming - mine say the taste is good too!

Once you've set her up some amenities in a place she feels safe, just let her come o you in her own time. She's been through an awful lot of changes recently, so can't blame her for being nervous. The fact that she is coming down at night is a good sign, she just may be finding your 4 year old a bit overwhelming.

Time and patience is key, but the truth is not all cats are suited to living in homes with children - they're often noisy and unpredictable and cats (especially unconfident ones) can find that behaviour very scary.

Thanks for the advice, we have feliway, but have ordered some more to put round the house. He has his own litter tray and bowls in a separate room etc. I don't really want to put a tray upstairs as it would need to be in our bedroom and that's just unpleasant so, we're keeping the bedroom door shut so he can't get in.

Right now he has the sitting room which the other cats are shut out of, but it's a busy room that my son plays in, so I've shown him a little hidden corner he can hide in.

I genuinely think it's the unpredictable nature of my son as he's very relaxed around me and my husband (follows us round miaowing and looking for us if we leave the room)

I think you should consider if your house is the right one for him. It's early days I know but not all cats can live with small children and it's not fair for him to live somewhere he's going to be permanently stressed.
I'm surprised the rescue let a nervous, timid cat go to a home with other cats and a small child, I see cats at our local rescue all the time that insist on a single cat, child-free home.

It is very early days for a rescue cat, especially one with such a bad start in life.

I'd buy a mollies mouse toy for him because they always love them & try having a reading session with your ds while the cats around so he can see he isn't always noisy.

I think you need to keep the cat and the child apart for some time: at least until the cat is much more relaxed around the house generally.

You know the child is scaring the cat. It don't seem to be doing anything to protect the cat.

Does the cat have somewhere high up to escape to, out of the child’s reach? When my children were smaller and noisier my cats would sometimes escape to the top of the bookcase or the top of the wardrobe. Some people have those cat tree things that also work.

It’s definitely early days but with a young child and two other cats why did you adopt another?

So we've just adopted a rescue kitty. He's 8 months old and has been In the rescue centre for 5 of those. He was found in a garden at 3 months. We were told he was very shy and nervous. We took him home and left him in the spare room with some food, biscuits, water, a bed and a litter tray. He just cowers in the litter tray and hisses and spits every time we go near him. We've tried gently speaking and giving him head rubs but nothing. He doesn't eat or drink during the day. Only through the night. He's now started hiding behind the litter tray in the most awkward positions. But still won't venture out. Has no interest in treats or showing any Interest in playing or basically doing anything. And advice?

How long have you had him?

Answer is really: time

Feliway plug ins can help too

Yes he needs time. He’s very little compared to humans, out of his own environment and scared.