My girl is gone...

[charliesmama]

Yesterday I had to make the heart wrenching decision to have my old girl (17 nearly) PTS.

I’m wracked with guilt it was quite sudden, and I’m left wondering if I’ve made the wrong decision.

The house isn’t the same and I’m bereft - I don’t think I’ve ever been this inconsolable even in human losses.

She (Molly) in February had the odd wobbly day that I put down to her age and being maybe arthritic... over the last couple of weeks when she’s been jumping onto the sofa she’s had to dig her claws in so her balance was off - she liked to sit in the back of the sofa and she found it hard to balance.
However over the last 3-4 days she was falling to the side, and her balance was terrible, she looked panicked in her eyes - her usual spark gone.
We gave her some whiskers pockets which were her thing - and when she ate them she stuck her tongue right out and I thought she was choking - there was a terrible cracking sound of her jaw maybe??

So yesterday I took her to the vets - they said their primary concern was her mouth which they couldn’t examine due to her pain - the vets words were “I’d have to sedate her to see what’s going on but then I don’t want to have to sedate her again to treat her, if want to scan her kidneys and she’s very arthritic”.
I expressed the fact that the main reason I’d brought her was due to the falling over...
Vet said it could be that they’d treat one thing and find another or exacerbate another issue and I fell too quickly I had to make the decision to have her PTS.
Now I’m thinking what if I could of treat her with painkillers or what if this or what if that...

When I rang the vet back to arrange collection of Molly, I did ask if she had managed to check her mouth during the process of her being sedated and she said that nothing was obvious so she was now wondering if she had arthritis in her mandibular joint.

So I brought her home and she is in the garden... I feel like a shell, my husband is the same as me...
Ds2 (7) keeps going to talk to her and kissed the ground this morning.

I know this is abit of an outpouring and well done if you’ve got this far.

The house is just so empty - I keep expecting her to come miaowing round the corner.

[Furries]

@charliesmama - thank you. Wishing you all the best going forward, strength to you too. Looking forward to hopefully seeing a photo of the new arrival in a few weeks 💕

[nearlynermal]

Oh OP, I'm so sorry for your pain. She was so well loved and protected by you. And, after 17 years, if your instincts told you it was time, I'm sure you understood correctly. If only they could tell us what they're feeling. I feel sure you did right by her.

[charliesmama]

Aww @furries 😔

It’s not easy, and I think things are also a little bit shit in general atm anyway with the whole Covid 19 situation.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this awful heartbreak, I think keeping myself busy and occupied has helped me- and I’ve also had to try and stay positive and be very honest with the boys (I have a 7 year old who has questioned everything about heaven, and her being in the garden) you get the picture 😔

Hopefully Nora (Cockapoo) is going to be our little positive, without going into too much detail I’ve had a tough couple of years with family situations - and sadly the next few months are going to be the hardest.

Stay strong @furries xx

[Furries]

@charliesmama - yes, the void left is really hard. Wow, little Nora is amazing news. What breed is she? You’ll definitely have to post photos when she arrives!

I’m not doing great, but don’t want to derail Molly’s thread. I’m probably going to start my own thread when I get myself together.

Hopefully your boys are really excited about Nora’s impending arrival and will give them something to look forward to and focus on during these weird times.

[charliesmama]

Posted to early...

I hope we’ve made the right decision, we didn’t mean for it to happen quite as quick as it has actually but someone I know knew of some puppies and it just seems to of gone from there...

I think for us it’s important to have a pet, it’s good for the boys to have that responsibility and for me it’s very therapeutic to have that fur to stroke...
On a walk last week we bumped into a little grey BSH cat and what a friendly little soul it was wanting belly tickles and even giving my little son head nudges/head buts just like molly used to and it honestly brought tears and I knew we had to have another pet in our lives.

@Furries how have you been?

[charliesmama]

Thanks @furries...

We’re ok, up and down days - I can see her little resting spot out of my kitchen window, and Timehop last week brought up some pictures which actually helped because last year there was a picture of her laid on my knee looking so relaxed and she didn’t look like that when she went so it helped put my mind at ease that it was her time (if that makes sense).

What has suprised us is the void she’s left in - both in the home and our little family... when we’d go to bed she’d follow us up the stairs and lie between my legs (after she’d laid on my chest for awhile) 🥰 coming home and her not being at the door is tough too...

Anyway I didn’t want to get another cat and it not be the same as Molly and end up resenting or comparing it to her soo we’ve decided to get a little puppy.
We have wanted one for a long time but due to the old girl and not wanting to bring a puppy into her life in her golden years we’d put off doing it.
So little Nora come home in just over 2 weeks time.

[Furries]

@thegcatsmother - really glad that you’re doing ok.

@charliesmama - apologies, I meant to tag you as well, not sure what went wrong! Just wanted to check in to also see how you are doing?

[thegcatsmother]

@Furries Thank you for that. I'm OK. He was a rescue who we found in a cattery. We may only have had him for the best part of 7 years, but he had a very good life with us, and was much loved, and is much missed.

Other posters on another thread I'm on have been keeping tabs on me as well.

[Furries]

@thegcatsmother - just wanted to check in to see how you are? A couple of lovely people on here did the same thing for me and it meant a lot.

Thinking of you all 💐

[thegcatsmother]

I had my rescue boy who was almost 17 PTS 7 weeks ago.Luckily, our vet allowed us all to be there with him. It still hurts. I have his ashes on the side in the kitchen and still talk to him every day. I miss him so much.

[StewPots]

So so sorry for your loss OP. What a beautiful girl 💕 and how lucky she was to have such a loving family as yours to look after her 💕 xx

[penguingorl]

I'm so sorry for your loss OP She was gorgeous and clearly loved and adored.

[charliesmama]

@furries ♥️ Thank you for your kind words.

Sorry for your sad loss too 🐾

[Furries]

That should have said incredibly loved, not over.

[Furries]

@charliesmama - I am so very sorry, Molly was incredibly beautiful and the look of adoration in her eyes is plain as day. She was obviously incredibly over and had a wonderful like with you.

As a pp has said, they are very good at hiding their pain, so for you to have been able to see that she wasn’t good means that she really wasn’t well. Guilt is a perfectly normal feeling and part of the grief process.

I had to have my soul cat put to sleep two months ago today. It was very sudden and unexpected, Simba was only 10. The pain and sadness at losing him completely floored me - his favourite place was being as close to me as possible. It has got a teeny bit easier, but I still cry every single day. They really do leave paw prints on our hearts.

Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to, you’ve lost a cherished friend. I hope that you and your family can find comfort in each other.

RIP Molly - run free at Rainbow bridge with Simba and all our much missed friends

[Want2beme]

So sorry for your loss. It is very hard when they go, especially so suddenly

[Hedgehog44]

Big hugs xxx you did the right thing

[ohcorona]

Sending love to you.
She was a beautiful cat who It sounds like had a life full of love.
It's so heartbreaking 💕🌈

[BabyMoonPie]

@charliesmama I'm so sorry for the loss of Molly, it's never an easy decision but it sounds like you did the right thing for her. Our old boy was ill last week. He had been fine and started being sick. He's done it before so we thought he'd eaten something he shouldn't have and he would be OK next day. Long story short, he wasn't eating and was lethargic so we took him to the vet and he's got serious kidney disease. Completely blindsided us and I felt awful but the vet said we couldn't have known, sometimes they don't show symptoms until it's really advanced. Be kind to yourself and remember the good times with your beautiful girl

[pilates]

She was so beautiful charliesmama and sounds like she had a great life with you. My cat (4) went out one day and never came back, I’ve never 100% recovered but it has got easier as time goes by. That was 4 years ago.

[charliesmama]

@Tiredmum100 yeah same we got molly when we had just moved into our first house together I was 21 - got married moved home, had 2 boys moved again and she’s just been there to give me nudges and love through all times.

Thank you all for your kindness ♥️

[VimFuego101]

They are really good at hiding pain, so if you were able to see she was unwell then chances are there was something very wrong. I would not choose to have invasive treatment done on an older cat just for the sake of a few more months. I think you did a very kind thing.

[Wolfiefan]

I’m so so very sorry for your loss. We had to pts our old girl at 19. She was fine. And then she wasn’t.
When I was a child we actually had a cat who had cancer in her jaw. It may well not have been arthritis.

[Tiredmum100]

The day we knew we had to have her PTS I actually got sent home from work as I couldn't still crying,.so I wouldn't feel too bad about it if you cant face it. It sounds silly but I really felt like a bit of me went with here that day. I bought her just after I moved out from home at 22. I had just qualified as a nurse, She moved with me when I left my horrible ex, was there when I got married and how had my 2 dc. She was there through so many milestones. Molly would have been ok at the end, even though I know you wish you were there I think the vet and veterinary nurse would have been very kind and soothing to her. Lilly went really quickly and peacefully, she wasn't aware, I'm sure Molly would have been the same.

[Windyatthebeach]

Sorry for your loss op
We lost our boy 2 weeks ago.
Our dear Hamish was just 8 - lost weight very very suddenly.
Vets offered pts only -
Very heartbreaking op.
We have his db but there is still a hole..
We had him cremated and hope to get a suitable garden fixture to put him in.