How to create a lap cat

[eurochick]

We have two 7 month old British shorthair kittens (sisters). I would dearly love them to be lap cats but they are not keen. One will tolerate being picked up (briefly) but if you put her on your lap she will jump straight off. The other turns into a creature made entirely of teeth and claws if you try to pick her up.

They have come on enormously since we got them a few months ago - to begin with they would hide all the time and were very timid. They are getting friendlier but still won't sit on a lap. Any suggestions?

Obligatory photos attached.

[ClaudiaNaughton]

My British shorthair, now 6, once sat on my lap. I thought she must be feeling ill. It never happened again but I’m now going to try the Dreamies trick.

[BarbaraofSeville]

No idea but I'm totally stealing Basil and Sybil, and possibly Polly and Manuel for my next boy girl pairs of foster kittens.

Sadly male entitlement is alive and well in the feline world. I always have to put the food bowls down in front of the boys first or else they just barge the girls out of the way anyway .

[Grumpyoldpersonwithcats]

I was minded of this thread earlier today when I had Karl on my lap, DW had Lenny, and DS2 had both Basil and Sybil. Result - total household inertia.
Any ideas about how you avoid lap cats?

[Fluffycloudland77]

I’ve seen the same with humans, the boys get molly coddled.

[GuppytheCat]

Ours arrive with no history for the mother beyond 'found heavily pregnant, no chip', so the parent cat can be anything from delightful to vicious. Strangely, that seems to have little effect on the friendliness of the kittens.

(Off the point, but the 'my little prince' syndrome seems to be present in mother cats. Fat hungry boy kittens get the best nipple and the fastest motherly response to cries of distress.)

[BarbaraofSeville]

Hmm, well, we foster kittens, and I've definitely found that half of a litter can be all over you like a rash while their littermates hide under the bed

Same here. I had a litter of almost completely feral foster kittens and it was pretty much a last chance at socialisation so we could rehome as pets or else we were going to have to find a farm for them to go live on.

Two of them turned into total lap cats and one would always run and hide from us and he did indeed go to live as a farm cat where he could live in a sheltered barn, catch rodents and have an eye kept in him by the family who owned the farm.

[GuppytheCat]

If they were timid when they arrived with you the breeder must not have handled and socialised them as much as they should have.

Hmm, well, we foster kittens, and I've definitely found that half of a litter can be all over you like a rash while their littermates hide under the bed.

Sometimes after we've put effort into socialising the shy ones they do a turnround and become velcro cats, but more often the shyer ones stay a little standoffish even at 10 weeks.

When we adopted our older cat as a kitten, she came with a warning that she was 'a proper little Billy No Mates' and 'definitely not a lap cat', despite being more or less handreared. Four years on, she's sat on a lap maybe 5 times in her life (and everyone else tiptoes round saying 'Look! Get a photo! She's doing it!').

Meanwhile, the GuppyKitten would yell at us to be picked up from about 4 weeks old, and now climbs legs to wrangle her way into a lap whether you like it or not.

[Nonstopbuttmachine]

8kg! Dear Lord! I've attached a picture of my little dormouse snuggled up to her 'brother', he's not a big cat (probably 4kg) so you can get an idea of scale 🙀

[wheresmymojo]

@Nonstopbuttmachine

Size of a dormouse

My biggest cuddler is a moggy boy who we've had since he was born (fostered a stray cat that had got herself upduffed) and he grew into an 8kg panther!

8kg of cuddle monster!

Sometimes he jumps onto my stomach when I'm asleep in bed and I wake up from being winded...

[madcatladyforever]

My son's British shorthairs are not lap cats at all, they ssit on my lap which pisses him off not end.
But that's because I bribe them surreptitiously with food and treats

[LittleLongDog]

Mine is an absolute lap cat. She loves it. She came to us as an incredibly timid rescue and is still very timid around new people.

I think the key is: I never ever pick her up. She doesn’t like it. And consequently she knows that I’m a really safe place to be.

She comes to my lap (constantly), on her own terms or because I’ve called her. And when she’s there she’ll flop about and have a good cuddle and let me check her claws/remove a matt/brush her/anything really.

If she’d had enough of me doing any of the above then she’d meow at me and I’d stop.

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

I think it's partly personality and cat thrawnness as well as socialisation. BiteyCat will only sit on DH's lap - he will stand in my lap for Dreamies but won't settle. On the other hand, I can pick him up for a cuddle if I'm standing up and he'll purr away - but DH isn't allowed to pick him up, he gets loud protests and occasional teeth. I'm not sure why that's the rules, or if they will one day change, but those are most definitely the rules here. He's 6 and a rescue so no idea how much socialising he got as a kitten.

[iklboo]

I can blow raspberries on DCat2's tummy. He comes up and throws himself dramatically on his back until I do it.

I think I'm the weird one is this relationship

[Nonstopbuttmachine]

@FenellaVelour that's a snow leopard/polar bear cub hybrid you have there, not a cat

Dcat3 is a terrible velcro kitty, as soon as she sees me heading towards the sofa she takes a running jump at me. Last night she got to 'our' spot on the sofa seconds before me and I actually sat on her She's the size of a dormouse yet my legs go numb after an hour of her lying on me because she just doesn't move. When I try to peel her off at bedtime she goes all limp and whimpers pathetically

[wheresmymojo]

It's not because they're siblings. It's related to how they were handled in the key socialisation stage which is from 3/4 weeks to 8/10 weeks for a cat.

If they were timid when they arrived with you the breeder must not have handled and socialised them as much as they should have.

[wheresmymojo]

I have socialised many a stray cat fostered for Cats Protection.

The answer is...Dreamies other cat treats are available

You need to get them to associate what you want them to do with reward. To begin with this will need to be food.

Start with the easier one - when she's on your lap give her Dreamies and chin scritches (or whatever petting she likes best - all cats have a different favourite spot).

Rinse and repeat. Gradually eek out the time between Dreamies when she's on your lap but give as much pets as she wants. Stop as soon as her tail starts going as that's a sign she's starting to get annoyed.

Break the easier one's spirit first and hopefully this success will keep you motivated while doing the same with the ball of teeth and claws

[Jayneisagirlsname]

I have one Velcro lap cat who just has to be touching a human at almost every minute. She was found straying and we think she just really loves having a home 🥰

My big boy has sat on me once. He was very unsure of how to do it - ended up draped across my boobs which, as he's nearly 8kg, was rather uncomfortable!
We've now settled for sitting next to each other!

[MaddeningtheUnhelpful]

I have an unintentional lap cat. Think she was just made to snuggle. She's a menace. I feel like I'm being held hostage 90% of the time because she looks soooo comfy. Her lapcattery knows no bounds, I have to lock the bathroom door because if I forget she will leap onto the door handle and dangle until it opens, then sit on my lap whilst I'm on the loo

[whoami24]

Down to the cat, you can't force these things.

Had cat for 4 years and until last month would only sit or lie next to me. But suddenly the other day climbed on me when lying on settee and settled down on lap for a cuddle and done it everyday since.

No idea why sudden chance in heart, maybe getter older?

But be careful what u wish for as you will not beable to move until your master says so

[Beamur]

I have an oriental kitten who is the soppiest neediest cat ever. Wants to be held and cuddled all the time...
My other cars vary but are both quite affectionate. A previous cat was the devil incarnate for years, actually quite hazardous to fuss but also changed into a lovely girl as she got older. She was a rescue and had been treated poorly. Took many years to gain trust.
I think with cats you just have to build a bond, be kind, feed them, don't do things that annoy them, etc..

[FenellaVelour]

See this horror will always sleep on my feet in bed, but won’t sit on me at any other time. I’m not sure she realises it’s me she’s actually on.

[minipie]

octopusrus if you want a cat that is addicted to human attention and loves a lap, Burmese is the one. But they have downsides, they are very very vocal and not road savvy.

[BarracudaSharkNose]

Give them time ....don’t force it. Ours will at 8 years old very occasionally now sit on a lap. But he prefers to be right up next to you with one paw resting on your leg.

[Ifeelinclined]

@JaceLancs you are your cats slave! You may never move him!

[TrainspottingWelsh]

octo not in my limited experience. Mine have nearly all been moggys of various hair length, and ranged between lap cat and 'don't even touch me'

All the main coones and main coone crosses I've known have been cuddly but I've only met a few of the former and one of the latter, plus one cross I used to have so could be coincidence.

And the one I had was a stray turned livery yard cat that was so desperate for affection and home comforts he'd have done anything for a cuddle. To the point the only feasible way he'd travel was in a small dog harness belt and as far across a human as he could get, happily watching the world go by.