help! rescue cat is bitey bastard

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

As some of you may remember, we lost our beloved elderly LandingCat two weeks ago. We wanted to fill the cat shaped space in the house and our local rescue were advertising that they were full so we decided to go and look, and ended up taking home a beautiful big lad who'd been a stray then in the shelter for a few months. He's confident, purry and friendly - but he bites. Not hard enough to break the skin, but he's a big guy and it still hurts. It's a shock especially for my DH and the DC who have been used to a little, gentle soul who could be relied on for good behaviour except if very stressed.

I think partly it's misguided rough play and partly pent up energy because he's not been allowed out yet but it's the unpredictability that bothers us. A previous cat of mine was a bit cantankerous but she would give you fair warning, He comes for a fuss or brings a toy to play with you and sometimes enjoys it, sometimes immediately grabs your arm. I know he was a hunter so have provided lots of toys to beat up and have been playing with a rod toy rather than close up with hands. When he bites, we don't pull away, but say No firmly and as soon as he lets go, walk off and ignore him, although he often follows us purring and rubbing against us, so I don't think it's aggression or stress. I think he doesn't know how to behave.

DH is already talking about taking him back to the shelter but I've persuaded him to give it a few weeks before making any decisions so if anyone has suggestions about how to teach him better manners I'd be so grateful.

[cozietoesie]

Ah - he's likely learned his 'manners' as a tom on the street then. Some - a very few - very late neuters never really adjust properly but I have to say that he doesn't sound like one of them. It does give you an insight into his character though.

I think that I might be tempted to point out his 'maleness' to DH next time he's critical of him. I wouldn't be in the least surprised if DH warmed to him somewhat!

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

Here he is Yellow. Isn't he handsome?

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

Jingle, yes please do PM me - that's great you managed to stop the behaviour, and really quickly too.

[cozietoesie]

A lovely boy. And Yes - he's a big lad isn't he?

[IAmcuriousyellow]

Oh he's lovely! A proper tidy black and white, gorgeous. And looking very much at home. I'm sure he'll settle beautifully and be a happy addition to your family.

[Mabelface]

He looks like my big boy.

[buckingfrolicks]

i could look at cats all day! Lovely.

One of our elderly rescues 'bit' like that until she was used to us, going out, and (in my sentimental imagination) confident we weren't going to send her back!

She's gorgeous now. Stick with it!

[cozietoesie]

I don't think there's necessarily any correlation in eg overall height/length, slugs, although in my experience, unneutered toms tend to develop more muscles - and certainly get that 'tommy' head which is so distinctive.

Other posters may have facts and figures on it for you. Or different experiences.

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

Lizzy, he could be the long lost twin of yours! I love to see them relaxed like that, all stretched out and comfy.

Bucking, that's really good to hear. I think I just have to teach DH a wee bit of patience with him.

[Archfarchnad]

Gorgeous lad!

Our boy was also picked up as a young entire tom on the streets. He was clearly not feral, but was definitely used to looking after himself! And he has the same wide face and huge shoulder muscles (also still has the 'tiger lope' much more pronounced than a cat neutered as a kitten). Don't know if being neutered late is why he got to 6.5 kilos (13 pounds)!

Yes, he's probably doing the biting as a form of play, and it's caused by not having a vent for excess energy. Archcat doesn't stay away from the house for long period (his record is 3 hours out), but he does actually NEED short spells out hunting and patrolling every day. If he doesn't get that because of bad weather he's a total bitey nightmare who needs some incredibly energetic flying-frenzy type play to calm down. He needs to be really excited, jumping in the air and hissing type excited, for five minutes or so. Straight afterwards you feed him a meal (this mirrors the pattern of hunting energy followed by eating the catch).

He still does over-excited affectionate biting and scratching occasionally and we do exactly as you: don't move or pull away, simply repeat 'no' in a firm tone, then when he loses interest and realises we're not playing he lets go and walks off with a swishing tail to show his displeasure. Oh, and he loves swatting our ankles as a game, but usually not with his claws out. We tolerate that.

[cozietoesie]

Even Seniorboy used to 'dib-dab' ankles going up the stairs and it's never worried me. It reminds me of lion cubs who - if you've ever seen films of pride life - will do that to the pride lions. Some sort of instinctive play hunting behaviour I guess and not meant at all meanly.

[OTheHugeManatee]

I bet once you let him out to terrify the neighbours' cats let off some steam he'll calm right down.

He's also just not going to be the same as your old cat. Sure I'm stating the obvious here but I'm sure you miss her and new cat is rather a contrast. I had a big old thug-cat once - ten years of being an entire tom before he was rescued with a bad injury, neck thicker than his head, a real bruiser - and he was always quite prickly. He thought it was hilarious to ambush me from under the bed when I'd just got out of the shower. He was also very cuddly but there was always a bit more of an edge to him and I loved him as he was.

You might just need a bit longer to get used to this very different cat

[Fluffycloudland77]

He's an ex stray so he doesn't know the rules. I hiss at mine if he does something I don't like.

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

Yes, I'm very hopeful once he gets out and about he'll be calmer - the rescue said minimum two weeks before we can let him out and he needs his vaccinations first anyway, but I'm keen to give him his freedom as soon as is sensible (if a bit apprehensive about what he's going to bring home, having seen the cat toys he's eviscerated so far!) He is very different from our wee elderly cat, but that was entirely deliberate - we wanted and welcome a different character. I've noticed yesterday and today he seems a bit calmer, possibly he's starting to feel a bit more settled, we're all getting more used to one another and I've been in the house most of the time which he seems to like.

DH seems to have agreed to a much longer settling in period instead of making rash decisions and knowing him, by the time a few weeks have gone by, he'll be as attached to the cat, bad habits and all, as I am.

Thanks all of you for your encouraging words: they have helped reassure me that it will be fine in the end (with a bit of work both on us and on our boy.)

[OTheHugeManatee]

Just wanted to add that a bitey bastard can also be a very lovable bastard. I adored my thug (he was like a cat version of Ray Winstone in one of those gangster films) even though his favourite game was trapping my arm between the banisters and then mauling it so I looked like I was self-harming

[Archfarchnad]

"Just wanted to add that a bitey bastard can also be a very lovable bastard."

Absolutely, in fact I think the hardcore boys in the 'hood can be the most affectionate sometimes, or perhaps the disparity is most noticeable. In fact, there's a specific German term for the phenomenon: Schmusekater (literally means cuddly tom).

"Some sort of instinctive play hunting behaviour I guess and not meant at all meanly." Absolutely cozie, if Archcat could grin while he's doing it he would, he sees it as a form of tag. What worries me is that like Seniorboy he prefers dib-dabbing on the stairs, and one day he's going to trip us up.

[bertsdinner]

My old cat was a rescue, 10 year old male. Neutered by the RSPCA so spent all his life previously as an "entire" male. He was very loving but could become aggressive very quickly, usually at feeding time. I think he had been mistreated previously. He did settle after about a year and I got very good at reading his body language.
My current cat is another ex un neutered male stray, but only 2 years old. He's a big hulk of a tom, but very gentle. He does like to bite feet and finger tips, but he never puts pressure on so I think it's just play.

I think there's definately something in the "cuddly tom" theory. Both my old cat and the new one are very territorial and aggressive with other males, but really gentle and tolerant of young cats/kittens that happen to come into the garden.

[WhoWants2Know]

Oooh, I've had a couple late neutered toms in the past. The biting did stop after a bit. Unfortunately, in a couple of cases the lads took to mounting any of my limbs that happened to be sticking out from under the duvet... But they were still good cats.

[OTheHugeManatee]

When thug cat decided it was time for me to get up, he used to bite any part of me that stuck out from under the duvet He had ears all notched like postage stamps, terrorised all the neighbouring cats and could flip very quickly from purring to snapping at you when he'd had enough. But he was very devoted, used to sleep on the end of my bed and follow me round the house all day. I think if you have a grumpy ex-tom you get good at reading their body language and also not being intimidated by them.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

Harry bites (well it's more of a gumming these days) but it's never really bothered me - he's never broken the skin and I've always taken it as a sign of love!

[LightDrizzle]

Hopefully your puss will be different and settle down but a rescue cat my brother got for my mother was fine for the first fortnight and then started randomly biting and hard! The really scary thing was there was never any warning, no tail-twitching, growling, nothing. She used to bite to the bone. Mum kept her for 13 years and she was buried on Thursday. Mum has scars, I couldn't be near her and I don't know how my mum managed.

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

I also have a late neutered tom who is a former street cat. I got some advice from the vet after he attacked my friend's DS (who was teasing him). He had always given me "love bites" when he got a bit overwrought when being groomed or fussed. He also bit a hole in DH's best shirt and in his plastic slippers - he loved attacking feet!

Vet was great and basically said to always make sure there was a toy between his teeth and DC hands and recommended those dangly feather toys - at one point YoungCat was getting through 2 a week! She also advised training the cat by putting him in another room when he bit and giving him a timeout say from people. Also rewarding non-biting behaviour. This worked in the end although it took a long time.

It also got much easier when he was able to go outside. Since we got YoungCat 2 (unplanned foster fail) he is a different cat and all his "rough" behaviour and energy seems to get used up romping around with his new friend!

[TheGirlOnTheLanding]

Oh god, Light, that sound horrendous. BiteyCat hasn't yet broken skin, he just clamps with his jaws, but I was bitten in the past by one of my cats when he was stressed out at the vets and the puncture wound hurt like hell and needed antibiotics after it got inflamed and swollen. I can't imagine living with frequent 'proper' bites like that.

[cozietoesie]

As I think I've said before, Seniorboy used to bite my mother. Properly.

He learned the error of his ways when he came to live with me though. They can change.