Adopting older cat

[SunshineSuperNova]

Hello all

As some of you know we lost our lovely elderly tom last weekend. We were planning to adopt eventually, but a friend has asked us to take her beautiful 12-year-old. He's an absolute darling, but is very stressed due to a new baby and the utterly vile neighbours bastards who have been bullying him.

He's been very well looked after and my friend is gutted to be losing him - he's her furbaby :(

Can anyone give me advice about adopting? All my cats have been from kittens.

[cozietoesie]

I'm pleased for you both.

[SunshineSuperNova]

We had a good chat tonight :) and we're good, which is a huge relief. Thank you x

[Fluffycloudland77]

If its a strong friendship it ought to survive, you haven't kidnapped her cat she can't provide a safe environment for him at the moment.

She would feel much, much worse if he had been harmed by the scum bag neighbours.

[CanucksoontobeinLondon]

Oh dear, I'm sorry it's getting stressful with your friend, and I'm sorry you're finding it emotional having another cat in your house. Totally and absolutely normal, though, both those things. You feel how you feel, and that's okay.

[cozietoesie]

Kittens take up so much attention that you often simply don't have time to feel low - but an older cat, even one with his own problems, is a different matter. It should work out though.

[SunshineSuperNova]

Thanks cozie, much appreciated. :)

[cozietoesie]

It was bound to be emotional, Yes.

I had thought your friend might have some problems. (There's the added complication that cat issues might have been masking stresses with the new baby and with the cat problem now 'sorted', there's no longer an excuse for dealing with other things. But that's for another board, I think.)

She's an old, old friend and probably going through a rough spot. If you're feeling low about your old cat, she'll be feeling just as rough.

Personally, I'd keep on dropping her regular emails of cat progress (with pics). Not effusive, just matter of fact and being sure to let her know - as you would - that you're there for her for other things. Say once a week.

Very difficult for you, Sunshine.

[SunshineSuperNova]

Ignoring my messages and putting me off when it comes to meeting / calling. I think she thinks it's all sunshine and rainbows here, while she's in misery.

I'm feeling a bit sensitive I think so could be reading things wrong, at least I hope so. I find having another cat here much more emotional than I thought.

[cozietoesie]

Is she 'not speaking to you' or simply hasn't been in contact? (If you know.)

[SunshineSuperNova]

He seems to be settling in okay which is great. I've just spent hours crying about my old boy (having him here is lovely, but sad too) and my friend does not seem to be speaking to me at the moment.

[SunshineSuperNova]

He asked me for a tummy rub earlier :)

[cozietoesie]

Aww - a good sleep will make a lot of difference to him. It may be the first proper sleep he's had for a long time let alone since he came to you.

I guess you'll just have to remember to lard your conversations with your friend (and FB posts) with occasional - 'He's happy although I think he's missing his real Mum'. (Without explanation of why you think he's missing her.) That should hopefully help.

[SunshineSuperNova]

She's a very old friend cozie and we're very close. I was in two minds about saying yes because of that possible issue. We'll have to see how it goes.

I've put his old bedding under our bed and he's been fast asleep for 3 hours - I think it's the first proper sleep he's had since he got here, he's looked a bit tense before.

[ZebraOwl]

He looks gorgeous in that pic & it sounds like he's settling in well, yay!

[cozietoesie]

You've got quite a difficult one ahead of you, I'm afraid. Your friend will likely be pretty conflicted in that she'll want her baby to be well and happy - but maybe not to become too bonded to you etc.

How good a friend is she?

[SunshineSuperNova]

The pic is from his original home before the bullying started. He's been so stressed he's been over-grooming so looks a bit naked in patches and is a shadow of his former self. Poor lovely boy.

[Fluffycloudland77]

Lovely looking cat, he looks very relaxed there.

[cozietoesie]

He seems happy enough then?

[SunshineSuperNova]

He slept on the bed for a while :) I think he was spooked by a noise as when we woke up he was under the bed.

He's just scoffed a second bowl of tinned food and is grooming (appropriately, not stress related). We've had a chat and some cuddles.

[cozietoesie]

Saw the pic. (There's just one.) He looks like a happy boy.

Where did he sleep last night?

[SunshineSuperNova]

Hello all, I've just changed the privacy settings so you should be able to see it now. The black cat is Roberto (who's currently on the bed after having a good breakfast) and the tabby is my late Oscar.

[cozietoesie]

Me neither. I thought last night that it might have been site lag but still no go this morning.

Sunshine - did you save the changes, make photos public and all those good things?

[SuperiorCat]

Well done SunshineSuperNova cat!

I can't see your profile

[Fluffycloudland77]

I can't open your profile to see the pictures.

[cozietoesie]

Yay! Good lad. I reckon he'll stay there for a bit at least. Looking forward to your news in the morning.