Cat steals Christmas Ham

[pinkhalf]

I have just come home and found a fresh ham, studded with cloves on the hall runner. One pleased looking tom cat sitting nearby.

Previous gifts have included a bottle of bicycle oil, a twig, and some frightened looking rodents. But the ham probably belongs to a nearby lunch! I'm imagining a party of disappointed faces!

Anyone else have a magpie cat? And can you do anything about it, its going to get embarrassing if he breaks into houses and starts rifling around their kitchens on a regular basis...

[pinkhalf]

Oh no, I've had two mice in the last week but didn't think that was relevant!

[cozietoesie]

So far!

[Purplemonster]

Ha ha that's brilliant, for once I'm quite glad my cats are stupid and lazy!
I did used to know someone whose cat regularly dragged live rabbits in through the cat flap so I suppose at least the little thief is pinching stuff you don't have to chase round the house.

[NorthernLurker]

Your cat is legend!

Poor persons who lost their ham - dh suggest there may have been a HUGE domestic confrontation over disappeared ham.........

[cozietoesie]

Oh yes - he'll be robbing houses. (Unless you have any restaurants or takeaways within striking distance?)

People might leave a kitchen window open to dissipate cooking smells, or have an unguarded/insecure cat flap. All in a night's work for a determined thief cat.

[pinkhalf]

An update. I never found the ham owner, so he got to eat it all.

I have just been presented with a fresh cooked chicken breast. I can only conclude that he is robbing houses to bring this stuff back.

[MarinaIvy]

Years ago, my partner and his then-partner woke up one Christmas morning to:

thumpTHUMP thumpTHUMP, thumpTHUMP

downstairs, for two minutes solid

In the kitchen was their proud-looking - btw, VERY tiny cat, with a cooked turkey twice the size of her and (this the freaky part) twice the size of the cat-flap. They still don't know how she did it.

Several tall backwalls between what they think is the source of the dinner and theirs, but the Rubik's Cat Flap was the complete mystery.

And the next year, she brought home a similarly-sized ham.

This was in the Stockport part of Manchester in the late 80s, btw. And a pre-emptive "nice try, Netto".

[bootsycollins]

Hahahaha! Love it! Your cats a legend! Give him his 15 minutes of fame and ring the local paper, that way he can make his very heartfelt public apology and you can give everyone else a good laugh. I wanna see his smug little face! Brilliant!

[2Tired2GiveaShit]

Eeeeh god I have choked all the way through reading this, (bad chest and coughing don't mix) the clincher was the post waiting for the thread "where did my ham go"?

Hilarious!

[GreatGooglyMoogly]

Hilarious! Reminds me of this cat.

[sashh]

That's brilliant.

Mine only brings in birds and small rodents.

Although a dog we had as a child once brought home a plastic bag containing a dozen pork chops.

[toldmywrath]

This is priceless! Toldcat often brings home very big goldfish (and the neighbours have commented about seeing him ambling home with the fish flapping in his jaws) We just hope that the fishes' owner puts nets on his pond soon(we've no idea where they come from)

[WeightyKaty]

This is just brilliant! My boyfriend is laughing so much it may even convince him that we should get a cat!

[changeforthebetterforObama]

Is your cat called Slinky Malinky by any chance?

[aJumpedUpPantryBoy]

How funny.

We had a tiny cat who would steal food off a barbecue if you turned your back for an instant.

Cats refuse to go on diets - when PantryCat#1 was put on a diet I discovered him in my neighbour's kitchen sleeping inside a bag of dried cat food having stuffed himself silly .

[NettoHoHoHoSuperstar]

I'm in Scotland South London.
Definitely my ham.
£50 please.

[pinkhalf]

I'm in South London and my cat is a tabby.

I put him on a diet post Christmas as the neighbours had been overfeeding him while I was away. Clearly this is unacceptable and he's taken matters into his own paws.

The ham is covered in filth, and he must have carried and jumped with it over a six foot fence to get home.

My street has its own messageboard so I will post there and see what happens.

[NettoHoHoHoSuperstar]

I've just realised, it was my ham.
Yes, yes really, mine.
Now, I wouldn't usually ask, but I had guests to serve and had to get them a takeaway, so would you mind refunding the £50?
[email protected]


This is why I want more cats, they are hilarious.
I only have one kitten, but she cracks me up and I am single and might as well get used to being mad old cat lady soon

[3ForMe]

-and cats! Not cars!

I give up......

[3ForMe]

-p a t e !!

[3ForMe]

Aw I love that cats are just genius at times (though I've been close to throttling mine during these genius episodes)

Mine can open the fridge!!

Helps himself to what he likes... Over Christmas he's had pâté, cheese, ham, chipolatas, and knocked over the cream for good measure! I NEED to get a fridge lock!

Put other cars of ours over the years have brought home frogs, birds, rodents, a football, burgers (someone was having a BBQ), a mole! Vole! And pigeon!

[ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs]

haha Surely your neighbours will see the funny side (I would, but then I am a cat owner!)

[Sunnywithshowers]

Fantastic. :)

My mum's tiny female cat used to steal food, including an uncooked chicken and a string of sausages.

[HestonsFatCock]

We had the local "ginger boss cat" nick the remains of our leg of lamb. We saw his tail disappear out through the kitchen window and no leg of lamb left in the kitchen. He also snuck in and licked the top of our lentil soup one day.
Is your cat ginger OP? Live in West Oxfordshire?