Success stories of clingy pups who became possible to leave for a bit

[ValedictoryMessage]

Got a v clingy pup, always follows someone round, barks if left in room on her own.

11 week.

She sleeps v happily in a crate in our room at night, we’re slowly moving her downstairs.

She’ll go t9 her crate or a bed for a nap or a chew but if she’s not asleep and you leave the room, she whines then starts barking. I’ve tried leaving for 30 seconds and coming back. Does this actually work in the end??

[ValedictoryMessage]

Yes, it's really good. I think I need some reassurance that it will eventually be OK!

[RedRed9]

Have you joined the Facebook Group ‘Dog Training Advice and Support’? It’s run by qualified behaviourists and is definitely worth joining, even if you have to make a Facebook account just to do so.

m.facebook.com/groups/374160792599484/

[ValedictoryMessage]

Mine ended up in the bathroom with me this morning attacking the bathmat while I tried to shower. She wouldn't be left in her crate though. Interesting getting out of the shower while a little cockershark was leaping up at me fangs bared.

It's not sustatainable so we are really going to try on working on her being left for long enough at least that someone can have a shower.

[Somethingapoo]

Hi, I had just come onto MN to ask a similar question!

I have recently adopted a puppy from a rescue. We think she is a cockerpoo, but a lot of people have told me they think she is a cavapoo. She's definitely part poodle. She's 15 weeks now, we've had her for 2 weeks.

She is such a lovely calm pup, eager to please, very friendly, quick to learn. The only problem is with leaving her!

We have a puppy gate across the kitchen, with her crate in it, At night we make the area smaller, but during the day she has the whole kitchen. She is very happy to wander in and out of her crate, and regularly puts herself in it for naps. She's in it right now, fast asleep.

The kitchen is the hub of our house, so we are nearly always in it. I have been working in it since we got her too. But sometimes, I just need a wee. Or to pop upstairs. And she goes bananas! Even if she can still see me.

The funny thing is she is fine overnight. She'll bark for a few minutes, then be quiet until we get up in the morning. Whenever I've gone out, she is always fast asleep when I return.

We are trying to make sure that we all ignore her when she is making the racket. We give her a treat when we leave her, but she will often either ignore it, or eat it then start up making a noise.

I have spent a lot of time standing at various points of my hallway ignoring her when she barks then saying "good quiet" and rewarding her with a treat. Or hiding in the toilet and reappearing once she is quiet.

Sometimes she really gets it, and you can see how hard she us trying to be quiet. Other times she goes frantic, throwing herself at the puppy gate, yapping and howling. Last night, she went on for about half an hour while I was trying to get my daughter ready for bed. But then she didn't cry at all when we went to bed!

We're trying to be consistent, but I am worried that we are going to end up with her having separation anxiety. The small successes make me think we are doing something right, then it goes backwards again. But then she is still such a baby, and she is still new here.

So I shall be looking eagerly for tips :-)

[thefemalelemur]

Mine was like that. I practiced leaving the room for short periods so for example when she was settled In the lounge, I would go in to the kitchen very briefly and straight back in. I literally did it over and over again for a couple of days, soon as she settled back down I would be up again, I think she just got bored of keep getting up and following me for no reason. She's six months now and will still whinge a bit if I'm upstairs for a while but largely fine.

[ValedictoryMessage]

Well she took herself off to bed last night. Frightful little bitey madam is morning though.

[Glenthebattleostrich]

It does get better. Mine is almost 2 and she now takes herself to bed if I don't go out!! She makes sure I know she's not happy that I'm taking up her valuable nap time with my love and affection.

[gunners111]

I agree that leaving the house is easier that going upstairs. I panicked that I would never be able to leave the house again when I first had my puppy as he would cry immediately if I even went into the next room without him but he eventually got used to it.

He would still rather be where I am and prefers company but has improved a lot

[ValedictoryMessage]

That’s what I want to know, that it gets better.

[RedRed9]

She’s only been in this world for 11 weeks and then moved to a whole new home with different smells away from her mum and everything she knows. Of course she want to be with you. You’re literally the only link she has to safety and love.

Don’t risk separation anxiety by pushing it too fast. It will get better.

[ValedictoryMessage]

She’s fine when sleepy. But will still drag herself out of her bed if I move....

[itadakimas]

Damnit, I was typing a wicked reply and phone went flat.

Nah, not about toughening up or anything, you're doing her and yourself a favour. What breed of pup do you have? Imagine her as a bigger, heavier, smarter adult (with a stronger bite), and think of all the not so pleasant behaviours you WOULDN'T want that dog to have!
Work on all of them now!
You'll appreciate your ability to leave her at times when she hits her teens

[iVampire]

I’I did clear the decks for her first weeks with us, but life can’t stop on puppy leave indefinitely! So I suppose now I’m going to have to harden my heart a bit and just do it

[itadakimas]

I'm not sure about a 'goodbye' phrase - at least not until she doesn't care about you leaving. If she figures out you're going, it might cause her to get worked up.
With mine if he hears the phrases 'Go to the toilet' (I have kids!), 'Get your shoes on', 'Get your coats', 'are you ready', he will start panicking and running about knowing we're leaving. We have to invent a new language almost weekly.
So I'd wait until she doesn't mind that you're going.

With the coming back thing - I've always thought that if you make a massive fuss of coming back (and it's easily done when you see your dog and their tail is going like crazy and they've clearly missed you), it puts emphasis on the point that you leaving was AWFUL! Does that make sense? (I'm not eloquent). There's some good training and behaviour vids on youtube that'll give you a better idea than what I can.

It sounds like you're doing everything right though. It is horrible hearing them cry, but it does get better.

[iVampire]

She has a crate, which we leave open, in the back of the kitchen, which is blocked off from the rest of the house by a stair gate. Crate has bed, soft tight and DD’s sweatshirt for comfy (smelly) sleeping. I leave a couple of her safest toys, her water bowl, a piddle pad by the back door and scatter kibble as a treat just before I leave.

Good tips about not rewarding until quiet (she gets s highest ‘value’ one when I get back in)

She’ll settle in her crate at bedtime!

Thanks for the tip about ignoring fuss and just going.

Is it worth having a set ‘goodbye I’ll be back’ phrase (with a parallel ‘hello I’m back’ on return)?

I have left her a few times. I sneak up to front door and every time before today she’s been silent until she heard the key, I think it must have been the whining that bothered me and caused me to post!

[itadakimas]

@iVampire - mine doesn't have a crate (he's very big), we use the kitchen with a stair gate. I would put him in there and then potter around the house - at first he wouldn't be happy at that, let alone the humans leaving the house!
I'd then start leaving the house for a few minutes at a time, (even just hiding behind front door). I gradually built it up. Mine is a rescue, who spent the first part of his life in solitude, so he is not happy about being left.

If you have clothes that you've worn (and wouldn't mind potentially being chewed), leaving them in the room/crate may help. Also, Don't underestimate the value of treats!
If your dog cries/whinges/barks as you're leaving, I'd recommend completely ignoring them. Even a quick glance is giving them attention - something they're after! Again, when returning home, blank your dog if they're going crazy. Wait until they're calm before looking at them, fussing etc.

It's really difficult and takes time! I have a husky that would scream at being left. Fortunately I have nice neighbours.

[iVampire]

I don’t know if DPuppy has separation anxiety, or if she’s just pissed off/indignant when we leave her. I had to today (emergency dentist, took just over an hour)

Should I be leaving her for short periods more often, so she’s more used to it?

She was whining when I got back - have I set back her ability to cope, and if so what do I do about it, I don’t really need to leave her except for up to two hours twice a week, would like to extend that to 3 hours once a week, and number of days to 3 or 4

[itadakimas]

It gets better.

Mine had severe separation anxiety (he still has it, but a lot better). Be very, very consistent in training.
I'd also give him a tonne of treats/things to do when leaving - I'd get him in the kitchen, close the stair gate, and then give him his treats; Kong, or Nitro or whatnot. Then run!

[HarrietBasset]

Join the fbook group dog training and support, the modules are great. My puppy was velcro...literally, we played the flitting game daily and I never pushed her over her threshold, she's 6 months now and can be left happily for 2 hours at a time x

[Stellaris22]

Mine is 1 1/2 years old and can be left alone for up to four hours, three hours is the max and that's quite rare.

She was terrible at being left and it took a lot of work, but it's definitely worth it. It's really important because if there's ever an emergency like needing to go to the hospital I don't want the worry of a barking and stressed out dog. It can be done, but it's not trained overnight and requires patience and consistency in training.

[adaline]

Mine is two and still follows me around everywhere

But he can be left on his own now. What worked for us is building it up slowly and never leaving him before he'd had a good walk of at least an hour off the lead. Then we'd leave him with a long-lasting chew (stuffed hooves being the best, or yakkers) and the TV on, and go out.

We can now leave him a couple of hours this way. Luckily I'm a dog walker so he often comes to work with me - so he's rarely has to be left alone but it's very useful to know he can be. I tend to leave him once or twice a week anyway just so he's used to it.

[Parkmama]

I posted this exact same thing OP on a FB group earlier! I feel your frustration! Our pup is 18 weeks old, sleeps well in her crate all night but the minute I leave the room she jumps up and follows me immediately! I don't mind this, quite happy to have her follow me around but it's annoying when I think she could do the nap she might have just started!! However when I go upstairs she just stands at the stair gate whimpering and barking, this is a new thing she never used to do that. I think she knows I'm up there and it's interesting! It's hard though as I try not to return until she gives up, otherwise I'm reinforcing her behaviour but sometimes I just need to return downstairs and find myself hanging about upstairs listening to her getting worked up feeling stressed about the neighbours!! We leave her to do school run for approx 15 mins twice a day, sometimes in her crate or just sat at the window and she seems ok with that. Usually I hear her barking as I walk away down the road but upon our return she's always quiet. I can't imagine leaving her for an hour!! But I have faith like others have said, eventually she will grow out of the neediness and will do her own thing a bit more. HOPEFULLY!! Otherwise my house upstairs will look like a jumble sale forever!!

[StillMedusa]

11 weeks is a tiny baby! Of course she wants to be with you every moment... you are her world! She's not being clingy..she needs you.

Mine didn't leave my side at all until she was about 4 months old, then gradually she didn't leap up the second I moved. Now 9 months she still follows me most of the time, but will potter off to do her own thing. She is never left more than an hour and a half though..we are gradually extending it as it's the easiest way to not have a dog develop separation anxiety...take it slowly (if your dog is a needy breed as mine is)

[Fizzlestix]

We had to work on the self settling part first too
And make sure she was tired - at first I could only leave if she’d done training, played loads and been on a walk, eaten, toileted and was ready for a nap
It felt impossible to find times we could actually leave.

You’ll get there though, it’s so much easier now!

[ValedictoryMessage]

I think it is FOMO, she isn’t bad but I can’t imagine leaving her she’s not v interested in settling herself and likes a lap or a leg to lean against.